Happy and Smiling again!

I haven't been in too good a mood of late. probably i have pissed off many by not taking calls or replying to the Ims and sms's. i have been unable to blog, there was no interest and no desire to do so. i have missed many post of yours which i should have read and commented, while some of you who have been extremely understanding and kind to me regarding the same, some have come up and demanded why i haven't replied to the comments or visited their blogs. to the latter i just have something to clarify, there are times i read but i am unable to comment, but basically i blog because i want to, and that it is a source of pleasure for me, i don't want to reduce it to a liability, where i feel obligated to comment just because someone has commented, i will do it because i want to not because i have to. so if i haven't been up to your expectation,i am sorry but i am what i am.

Anyway moving on... as of now i am feeling a whole lot better, in kinda good mood you can say. finally right now its raining, i mean the proper hours long rain that washes away the dust and clearing the humidity that made life so impossible for us.this is the first monsoon showers of the season.it pretty late but nonetheless here... so that's surely a breather. but i wanted to enjoy my beloved rains here before moving on. and thank god my wish was granted!did i tell you i absolutely love the rains??!! i simply loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooorve the rains!! :D :)

On other happy events. very recently most of my friends from school met up and we had a whale of a time together, some of whom i was meeting after 5 long years. you can imagine 11 ladies seated at a corner at one of Kolkata's finest restaurants in a well known mall for a buffet; chattering, giggling, clicking pictures away to glory and having a ball. everyone was like super happy and excited to be back and it was one happy reunion! thankfully i met up all these beautiful people before i left or else id be missing on a lot, since i don't think i will be around for the later reunions. what i absolutely loved was the fact, that despite meeting up after 5 years it didn't seem as if we hadst been out of touch at all. and there was never a dull or awkward moment, smiles and giggles ruled the whole outing and it was one happening event to be in.

As the days are rolling by and time to leave comes nearer the fear and apprehension is making me all the more anxious and nervous but I'm trying my best to not make it more difficult for me and take things as they come.. and if you have friends like Nikhil and Anwesa who keep reminding you of the number of days left... god u can imagine... I'm ready to tear my hair out! :) :P Sorry to all you lovely people who has had to read my rants about my insecurities and leaving home blues.. sorry to have bored you to death but i will try and not whine and make it all worthwhile and if indeed i fail to keep my word please be patient as this is one of the most rough and harsh phase of my life... i will bounce back with my chirpy ways...

And o yeah... there is this one deed that makes me a lot happier and relived these days... there has been something that had made me all cold and unapproachable and this was because i have been angry and bitter... but i have learnt to let go and do what i want.. even if it means contradicting myself and at the cost of appearing confused to many... i will maintain what i had realized for myself... that i will preserve my individuality and strength of character no matter what...but at the same time... i will do things which i feel like doing... for i am answerable to no-one but myself. this makes me happy and i am happy to be loved and to love. it makes my plight a lot lesser and my heart a lot lighter... and makes me one happy girl!

Happy Rains to all you lovely people.... and ya in case you are interested in reading the guest post i wrote for NE aka Nehya...and here is one i did for Vinay aka Leo too...just click on the names.. :).. cya around!!

Its time to say Goodbye

Tears blur my vision as i type this. i cant believe he has gone without me even getting a chance to say my goodbyes. it seemed that fate was conspiring against us, first the phone wouldn't connect, when it did he was busy, then i was supposed to call him back but then it slipped my mind, when i called the call got disconnected even before i had a chance to say goodbye. Shubankar left for MASSCOM Kottatayam today to pursue his childhood dream in Journalism, without a so much as a goodbye.

i waited...waited a long time...for this pain to subside...the pain that threatens to tear me apart..my lips are pursed but the tears are tireless...i don't know what next everything gets all the more murkier...i cant believe i wont have him around anymore..he has been so integral to me and to my life.. it was as if he was always around protecting me.. guiding me around and now with him gone.. i feel as if the life is squeezed out of me..soon it will be time when i will have to say my goodbyes too..

i know with time i will get used to him not being around... i know there will come a day when not keeping in touch on a regular basis will seem usual but at the moment life seems impossible..for as i write the train takes him further away from me.. i know Richa says friends can never part unless they want to.. but then there are times when things are not in our hands.. like even after wanting to meet him real bad we both haven't managed to meet each other in more than a month...all i remember now is seeing him for the very last time a little over a month back, as i got off the bus and him waving at me promising to meet... it never happened... maybe all this is for good, for had i known it was our last meeting it would have been even more painful.

now as i think back to us i am filled with gratefulness of having met such a beautiful person who became one of my closest friend...memories flood in and i am reminded of how despite being in a huge crowd on the first day at college we managed to sneak out time together..how that day waiting to take our electives i told him about Samik.. he was the first one to know about him...how those winter afternoons we would sit huddled under the blanket studying... the winter sun playing on our toes as we sat on the ledge of the veranda as our toes touching each other...how i will miss his deep baritone voice calling out to me every morning "Man you are looking hot!" those endless hours at the library where in between study sessions we managed ample time to just irritate each other like crazy...

i don't know what future holds.. maybe we will again sometime...maybe despite wanting we will never make it... but what matters is we will always have each other in our hearts knowing what others could never know...that there is a love much greater than that which is shared by a man and woman, a love that is defined by a powerful and meaningful word called friendship. What matters now is that both of ours dreams of becoming journalist is coming true in one way or other and we must work hard to achieve it..i know it wont be easy to not be around but we will always remain safe in each others memories until we meet again... and we will... someday..

Awards!!

I have received a lot of awards of late but i never had the chance to put it but here it is... :)

this one is by Pulkit.. thank you so much Pulkit for the thoughtful post and beautiful words.. im really very touched... thanks a ton!!

This is lot of awards are from Vinay aka Leo.. thankie!! :D

This lot of awards are from Yams aka Yamini.. thanks a ton sweetheart for the awards!!

These awards are from Mayank!!! need i say more.. I'm sure you know I'm thrilled!!! :D

You dint think i was that bad did you? there are some awards for you too.. yes yes you all...trust me... :) go on now click HERE

501. R.e.m.i.n.i.s.c.e.n.c.e

They say that you don't make good friends in the virtual world.And we,the current generation is very much ridiculed by our predecessors for the extreme thin line precision at which almost all of our relationships go.I would however differ in this regard.Even though most relationships thrive on a very thin line,unfortunately,some do get above all those notions paving way for ultimate bliss....

And the one I share with the author (Raka/Phoenix) is one such.... :) Ultimate bliss....!!!!!!

I first come across her blog in the last quarter of 2008 and something which attracted me the most right away,was the fact that Raka was supremely modest and frank on all that she had been writing about.And my observation is very well reiterated by the many number of readers who flock around here...That is also because the blog readers have also evolved wonderfully well..Gone are those days,when people used to run behind a touch of flamboyance or gossip or sweet talk.

Plain incidents of one's life serve as a stepping stone in defining most others.

And that has been the most amazing thing behind the woman,herself.And as time went by,I got ever so wonderfully addicted to this space.Reading the Destiny's Child was like reading the newspaper first up in the morning for she was soo very punctual with her posts.The world through her eyes was and still is an extremely wonderful experience.And then came social networking sites to the foray,I found her on one of them and we were friends soon enough.As time went by,so did things fall into place ever-so-wonderfully well.


As things stand today,close to 6 months from our first real conversation on the telephone,I have learned more things from her than I could have ever given her.The humongous multi dimensions of the people inhabiting the earth,the life and times of an Indian girl coupled with the realities that they have to face in life,the flashes of the child in her who wishes to go places fueled by her ambitions,the woman in her who is a great source of emotional life support system to most people around her(including ME),an insight into the life of a perfectionist who has a very good head above her shoulders and whose feet are completely firm on the ground--I could just go on and on and on.The mere fact is,seldom have I been able to see people of the current generation who have had a better outlook on life than raka and in these times,I have never been ashamed to take a leaf out of hers and incorporate them into mine.After all,she is indeed MINE..... :D

And in these times,there sure has been my share of PR disasters(I am GOD) but unlike the previous times where in,I thought it transpired thanks to me,Raka has made me realise that it ain't really so and put a whole new dimension into my thought process..I don't really think about them now anymore,for I have her...forever...and ever....and ever.... :)



And now when I come across myself as one of those very lucky few who have been fortunate enough to adorn this space,I thank her for all the wonderful moments that have transpired in between the two of us in this short span of time,for putting up with me,the number of times I have put her in utter disarray through my umpteen SMS's (yeah,messaging is free for me..Want a bite??get in touch.. :p ) and missed calls and also those phone calls sometimes- just hoping that these times do last forever.....

Love you ever so much.....*Hugs*
yours Multi(Nikhil)Menon

Yeah,I am praying for your admission at MASCOM more than anyone else and you know why...!! :D

499. To Raka, with love

When Raka asked me to write her 499th post, honestly I felt honored.

I have known you for not a very long time, but this little time has been worth that I feel proud to call you my friend.
I still remember the first post I read on your blog. It talked of your dream home. A Minimally finished Apartment on the top floor of a skyscraper from where you could see the lights of the city. I liked the idea and instantly followed your blog.

I used to read the blog religiously. And as you narrated, I found out you were younger than I am, but your views, thoughts, ideologies and most importantly as I always say the frequency, were quiet near mine.

Gradually, we were on each others friend lists on gtalk and since then there is no looking back.
I see in you a strong character, a determined soul and an emotional heart.

Do you remember the first time we caught each other online?
I cant recall whether it was 2 am or 3 till we chatted and chatted. I mean amazement was when you are talking to a person for the first time, you don't tell her almost all your darkest secrets and you don't share with her your deepest feelings.

I never knew I could be so very good friends with someone in the very first instance.

I spent great time with you girl, those philosophical discussions, those naughty rap sessions, those useless conferences, those silly talks, those mood lifting parleys, the total girl stuff, everything.


And when you asked me for a girl-blog, I took not a nanosecond to say "I am in" and we landed on up to this Femme Fatale Idea. Since then, whatever you call it, vicious circle, loop or cycle, this relationship of ours is such.

I love the way you say " I am just a phone call away" and "I am there for you na"..

The geographical distance doesn't make much sense to us. But I'll soon come down to see you for sure and remember your promise to visit me after your exmas.

I know I may be sounding like Im writing a testi for my guy, but you are equally loved.. ;)
I really wish to God to bless you with his choicest blessings for you are worth it..

Love always....

498.PHOENIX...ITS FOR YOU...!!!

Proud to be her friend
Her attitude, i admire
Over time, we became friends
Every chat was special for us
Nights become short, when we speak
I know her as the Destiny's Child
Xpressing her inner self

Ringing the bells of love
Always she makes us think
King of her heart, is special
Always be together, i wish

Many a times, i find her in stress
U know, she can manage it fine
Journey of her life, she decided
All of them, she managed to cross
Memories, she have in loads
Drop them will never she
Am one of them i am sure
River of love i wud like to gift her...!!!

-- yours forever friend
Yamini Meduri
desire2dream, live2achieve
From the Land Of Dreams

Make your vote count

I so wanted to write a post on the upcoming elections and the fact that we must exercise our right to vote. but then being apolitical and politics illiterate I'm hardly the person to write it. all i feel right now is that we voters hardly have options from which to vote from. and its more of voting the lesser of the evils from the whole lot. that's hardly assuring isn't it? what amuses me and in turn disgusts me, is the mudslinging every party engages in just to promote themselves. there is no decorum or decency. moreover a new trend has made its presence felt, that is of flinging of the shoe towards the politicians, while it may just mirror the anger and sheer annoyance on the part of the common man, it however does not justify itself, for it was done in real bad taste. what is hilarious is the political manifestos... see them and tally them with the youth and the youth problems and you will have yet another reason not to vote even though the political parties are trying their best to woo the youth who constitute the majority of vote the bank. but hey does not mean you don't vote... do ahead and vote, for change.

check this link it is a video.. it was shot in my college with me and my friends... most of whom you will recognize! :) have fun watching the video and don't forget to vote.

Take a look at: Tubaah: Young voters in Kolkata feel disconnected with politicians

NDTV news reporter Monideepda Banerjee [in green salwar] in the centre,
Satrajit, Ishani, Shubhankar, Monideepa mam, Me, Soumik
Payel, Tista,Pooja, Rohit and Arindam

ones in red are my friends, whom i had mentioned before :)

Happy Birthday Harshita!!

A very special person was born on this day. She is magnetic, charming, and friendly and happiness personified. She breezes through filling colors to your life, lifts your spirit and leaves you with a smile. She is a hardcore optimistic and her optimism so extreme and contagious that you are compelled to follow. She is the epitome of all things happy and cheerful. With her trademark “AHO!!” “koi gal nahi” she is the one person I look forward to talk to, at least once a day. She is the one person for whom I’m online despite being extremely sleepy or held up. She is the one person who inspires me to take everything in my stride, she has taught me that there are two ways to deal with a problem; one- you can sit and lament and ponder and feel unhappy, or you can sit up and try and be cheerful and stare the problem down. And I’m proud of you Harshita. Thank you for being there, every time I needed you. And more than which, thank you for being my friend.

A friend in need

And an angel indeed

Sunshine and morning dew

She is one of the genuine few

She is all things Happy, cheerful and gay

She will inspire you with her positive ways

Naughty and whacky and full of smiles

She is tireless like the limitless skies

Gentle, sensitive and kind

She is the ultimate friend you will ever find

Here’s wishing you a very happy birthday HARSHITA!!
May all the happiness belong to you!
May your day be filled happiness and good cheer!!
Have a fulfilling birthday!!

You mean the world to me, thank you for being my friend.
Hugs and lots of love

- Phoenix.

A BIG thank you to Hemz who photoshop-ed these pictures for me and thus helping me make this day a special one for one of my dear friends.

400 th post!

With this post i complete my 400Th post in 2 years and a month. The journey from when i started to now has been monumental.i used to be so apprehensive and conscious about what i wrote then. i had colored glasses on. i was weak and vulnerable. i like the new me. I'm a lot more confident on what i write. maybe its because with time i have grown up! It really was a pain to shed the original URL and also the name of the blog. but then it was a tad bit childish, however i do carry forward the "phoenix-rising from the ashes" attitude :)

From the person who hadn't a clue about templates and publishing posts, who would ask friends to fix templates for her, i know a thing or two about it. and that is some achievement! For me, my blog was always was an outlet to speak, to be myself. and whatever opinion i had good and bad; i found friends here who took me for who i am. some have stuck one... and some lost into oblivion, just like it happens in the 'real' world. I've made some really great and worthy friends in this bloggerville. and then there are new people i have just started reading and getting to know. so here's welcoming my new pals into my world-Trinaa,luckydivs and santoshi :) 400 is not a mean feat, but i am really horrible with numbers, so they don't really count. what counts is the happiness and satisfaction i receive from this blog, which is now such a massive part of my existence.i hope i have been able to make my presence felt and spread some good cheer! for all those who are still here reading me,over months and years.thank you, blogging wouldn't be the same without the lovely comments,awards and the friendships i had the opportunity to savor!

But the Biggest Thank You goes to my Bloggie for being the bestest pal ever! mwuah! *HUGS*! I hope i can continue with my blog for many more years to come *fingers crossed* :D

Counting My Many Blessings

I had a super duper sunday yesterday, despite my marathon, record wining time i spent online: 12 hours and 35 minutes. at the end of the day i had a terrible headache, my back pained so bad that i could barely sit, and my eyes watered profusely but it was well worth it because i had a really rocking time. and this post is dedicated to all those super cute, super nice and exceptional human beings, my blogger mates who have brought happiness, smiles and joy to my life. :D

Harshita - she has been an absolute angel. a reservoir of all things positive, one cant help but be influenced by easy charm, and the absolute love for life. we have been chatting for some days now but to me she is the one person i just need to talk once a day, to refill my energies. she is an absolute inspiration for a depression prone person like me, to face life smilingly. "share a smile" is her mantra and she follows it piously. i recommend all and sundry to befriend Santy.. oh i mean... saint harshita ji... :P and you guys should read the kind of things we say to each other.... will make all you naughty people drool! really food for your dirty thoughts... check the comment of this blog, like is here

Hemu- we were strangers, first timers in each others blog. we emailed and added up each other in the gtalk list and soon we were talking all day. and by evening we were like two friends who had been knowing each other for ages. he is simple in his ways, warm and friendly and extremely easy to talk to. thanks sweetheart for being my friend! i hope i never let you down!

Chris- is a real challenge to talk to.one has to match up to his wit and sharpness of his mind. truly, i just felt that he could look right through me. but a big thanks to him; for pushing me forward, teaching and guiding me to take chances and forget the failures or rejection that could come my way. thanks Chris for motivating me!

Pj- she completed her 50th post! and she is one smashing blogger! must read her to belive the kind of potential this girl has. truly commendable! here is wishing her many more posts!

When im writing a slightly sentimental post on my blog friends,do you think i wont mention Buzz? well i spoke to saroo and for the first time i realized how wrong my allegations were, that he doesnt reciprocate my feeling. talking to him yesterday really helped. you made me realize that no matter what happens in friendship, somethings like genuine feelings never really die out. for you id like to dedicate a song " tu hi toh meri dost hai" from Yuvraj

thanks a ton everyone for not only making my sunday super but helping me caste aside gloomy thoughts and to be the reason for my smile.. :D

PHEW!

What with the story now over, there is a sense of relief though i admit i feel a void there in me. The last few days i have been obsessing about the characters, what can they be saying in a particular situation, what can bring them together and not. These thoughts have occupied every free waking hour and even sometimes during sleep. yes i was like Geet [Kareena Kapoor in Jab We Met] mumbling away to myself even in sleep. but its nice that the story ended, and ended with a new beginning.

To all those who hasn't already figured it out. yes it was somewhat autobiographical. i would like to clarify, though i know i need not. i cant write on things that i cannot connect to, there is always a part of me, literally; in whatever i write. and this story came at a time when i was going through a tough phase of my life. i wrote this story the way i would have liked mine to end. and i am not ashamed about it.

No matter just how practical or logical i maybe, i am a sucker for romance. i admit again, for those of you who don't know. i am a simple person who cant write any differently, using heavy words or think of unheard plots or tread untrodden path. i am me. and for all those who are disappointed in me. well what can i say! sometimes i just wish i could remain just anonymous and write because i love to and not to win acclaim. sometimes i just wish people who knew me would just let me be me in this place, which to me is my retreat!

Enough of sad and serious stuff which must have driven most of my friends from my blog. and now for something spicy... i'm looking for a companion [read:friend]. good looks doesnt apply, he cant be saroo like buzz who is cold and doesnt reciprocate my feelings [just kidding!]if he is harshita's male counter part nothing more like it! :P but otherwise he has to be sensitive, sensible,warm,and extremely forthright! anyone can apply, you can refer your friends too... so rush your entries now!!! offer valid till i change me mind! so hurry!!

This week that was

This last week of pujas was very eventful to say the least. There were a few points that really made my pujas an enriching experience. Gloom, sadness and despair were close at hand but it could never dampen my mood which with vengeance I tried to remain gloom free for this was my last pujas in Calcutta. Next year I will be miles away from hom, with probably no leave. So I was determined to have the time of my life and I did.

What struck me during the pujas was, how people, irrespective of the kind of problems they face, the kind of life they lead otherwise, try and put on their best clothes and their best spirit to enjoy and celebrate the pujas with great fanfare. There were smiles even on those millions of policemen who sacrificed their holidays to manage the ocean of people out on the streets, during the festive occasion being away from their own families who need them. Calcutta police and the Civic Police did a splendid job manning the traffic!

My mind was the seat of contradicting thoughts and emotions. I wished and prayed that this is my last puja here [so that I can pursue my dream career outside the city] and on the other hand it hurt me even to imagine that I will have to stay away from an occasion that is now an integral part of our being. Pujas are no longer just a festive occasion, it’s a hope where people want to be in their best to enjoy before the lights are being taken off, pandals are dismantled and life comes back to haunt. I am not a religious person but pujas are something that makes one out of me; the ashtami anjali, the sandhi pujo, the dakhi, boron and sindur khela...

I spent a day with samik’s folks this pujas. And it felt great. I met his jiju for the first time and he was a perfect gentleman. He immediately put me in ease. And it was worth everything to see mohor play with her dad whom she had met after months. No one could tear her away from jiju. And the whole scene was heart rending to the core. I felt welcomed and very much a part of what was a tempting possibility, but I have to hold on to my ambitions and dreams of a career, and then being a part of this dream will be a reality too.

Another great event that occurred was a high school reunion with school buddies after 5 long years. Almost everyone had changed. Everyone looked more mature and ladylike unlike what were in school.Most of us met up. Sangita, ria, priyam, Natasha, anna, sayanti, srimoyee all turned up. And the best part was that despite having several issues in school, and being adamant not to turn up and face the people whom they had issues with, my friends irrespective of what had happened before, met up and decided to have the time of our lives. It was heart wrenching to see the initial group of friends reunite as if time has not been lost. As if there were no issues and it was perfectly normal to smile and hug each other as if the next moment would prove fatal. Laughter and giggles were the order of the day along with loads of yelling and a lot of excited news of those whom we used to know. We were all sorry it had to end this way but we had to leave. With the blink of an eye almost 5 hours had gone by. Soon it was time to leave but we all promised to make this an annual event! Phew! It was an awesome day! :D

Samik and I spent quite a time together, more than what we had anticipated. But most was lost in bickering. Our first formal dinner date was good but not so memorable. But I was atleast happy that I could be with someone I love the most and what to be with because pujo is no pujo without him. So alls well that ends well.

Pictures of pujo, reunion with friends, samik’s family are all to be found in a few moments in my photoblog known as the kaleidoscope of memories. Do crop in comments telling me what you think of them. I hope you all had an enriching festive time!

A New Beginning

Wondering why i was suddenly consumed by this immense need to change my blog URL which has been my blog address since my formative days as a blogger?? well i felt a need for anonymity and a sense of security. over the period of time, i have noticed that my blog has been subjected to as a device by which people i know personally [my friends, family,relatives and some people i don't get along with at all] to pry into my private realm of my life and use the information for their own selfish needs. Samik looks in to see the things that are occurring in my life,which he suspects i may not tell him, my college mates pry to see what exactly i write if i bitch about them at all; so on and forth.

i still maintain that i blog to preserve my sanity. my blog is my best friend. and my friends in blogger ville are the people who matter the most once i enter this virtual world. they still find immense relevance once i step out too. but surely my blog isn't for those who seek voyeuristic pleasure from it. i am a simple and uncomplicated person. i am just plain and very ordinary. but i am me. and i have the right to write what i feel like and opine what my sensibilities allow me. what i write is not to please people but it is solely to satisfy my mind and my soul. and i need the independence to speak my mind and write on issues i find relevant.i don't want to cater to what people opine and write accordingly. i may sound like a selfish moron here but then sometimes one does have to think about ones own need.

i hope our association as friends will continue and in this leg of my journey in blogger i hope to make new friends who will value me for everything i am and everything i am not! cheerio

Friend and Stranger

In the last 24 hours i have been hurt twice. it is not hurt as in tears and sadness...but a part of me felt wounded. for one, is one of my closest friend and the other is a girl i admire in class[ i don't share a friendship with her though] both in their attitude towards me have really made me feel that, people don't need a reason to be mean, and they care less how their attitude may hurt other people.

lets take my friend. well what she could have politely refused me, she chose instead of humiliating and insulting me, insinuating that i lack in morals and degraded me. it was not required. i simple "no" would have worked too. what good does it do to people to look down upon people on issues which they themselves can be tarnished. but hey! im not saying a thing, because it is not an appropriate thing to do. i hope it does her good that she being a close friend has hurt me.

now for this stranger. well, she is one of the most sorted girls i had come across. we have never been friends and now maybe never will be. i admired her for all that she stood up for; and thought her to be a genuine person. the other day, i thought we connected well, as we spoke on some issues; and for once i felt it doesn't need a friend to have a good conversation, i think i liked her even more. but no! she too turned out to be like the rest, who mocked me because of the fact, that we had a conversation when she clearly didn't want to participate in it and wanted to be left alone; contrarily i remember distinctly that i had asked her if i should indeed leave her alone but she said it was fine and she in fact asked me various questions, gave me her views... how can people be so dual? why cant they be transparent in what they do and want?

If i don't want a thing or a person i make no bones about it. i don't know what is happening to people. probably this is how people are, they lash out at others and not resolve things politely and others use politeness to fend off people and then bitch about them... some people.....

some people make special places in our hearts.
when they move on their place is left vacant. and a void is created.
a void that can never be filled.

sometimes it is just best to let things go;
for what was never meant to be will remain unfulfilled.
maybe it was never meant to be at all.

Friends

most will say this typical filmy dialogue- "ladka aur ladki kabhi dost nahi bansakte" [a girl and guy can never be friends] does this mean opposite gender attraction and sexuality ruins what invariably would have been a good friendship?

i however beg to differ, despite being brought up in an all girls convent school; and now when i study in a co-educational institutional college, i firmly believe that a girl and a guy can not just be friends but good friends at that. it is a popular notion that yin and yang makes a whole, this is applicable not only to a couple in love but in friendship too. i wonder why parents adopt this attitude towards their kids, where they tend to question the nature of their friendship when they see their daughter/son get too friendly with a friend of the opposite gender. and this is not just applicable to parents but other peers too. what makes people raise their eyebrow to friendship and so called categories of friendship?

does really attraction and sexuality ruins what could have been a great friendship? my answer would be yes and no. firstly, when two people find that they are very compatible as friends and enjoy life the fullest they tend to wander just a bit thinking that good friends can end up as good lovers too, sometimes it works out sometimes it don't. and then again sometimes two friends don't look at each other as anything more than friends. this is all too complicated isn't it? actually friendship means different things to different people. its relative. so how we approach it and how we want to deal with friends and friendship is entirely depends on each person, there is hardly any rule book to it, to each his own.

it is so weird to think, that with time a guy and a girl friendship find social acceptance on the other side same gender friends are often frowned at :P! what has the world come to really?! just imagine, my boy friend being petrified of not just me but of my girl pal, Ipsy; he knows that whatever he says or does will be reported in its actuality to Ipsy in full details. not just that he half suspects that I'm in a parallel relationship with her, i think Amartya da [Ipsy's bf] would agree too. i mean duh! cant i really tell things to my closest friend?? :) i have this other friend, S and we had become fast friends from day one of college, we had always been topic of discussion and speculation, if or not we are more than friends, we still are. but who cares really? good friends are really hard to come by and when they do one must cling onto them. many of my acquaintances find it hard to believe that i have found durable friendships in the world wide web; who cares ultimately the friendship counts, the medium is irrelevant. isn't it? virtual or real friends matter the most. we made friends and friendship should not be based gender or sexual orientation of the friendship, but the feelings that is shared should be most important.

Bruno

Meet my new friend BRUNO he was gifted to me by Samik on Friendships Day.
ive always wanted a dog, even if Bruno is virtual, he is mine :D

blogger paradise

One of my closest friend had once complimented me that I am blessed with a great set of virtual friends who are as good as the real ones if not better. This comment of his had got me thinking and I realized how true it was. It was not as if internet hadn’t already been benevolent with me, my boy friend and one of my closest friends are from the world wide web but my other friends who now seem such a great part of me, that its unthinkable of not having them around.

Its easy to be there when someone is happy. Reading a happy post always is fun, it gives you yet another reason to smile. But the challenge is to go through ones gloomy, dark and depressed posts, and I must admit I must have been a handful where this is concerned. For my part, I too have read such posts in others blogs and after a while it got to me and I ran away so I know how tough it is to console, encourage and cheer the other person up when he/she is going through a rough patch. But there are some people who are always there whenever I was in need, need for comfort and for encouragement. and i have never been dissapointed And I feel truly blessed to have such a fun set of true friends in this world of blogs which the non-bloggers call virtual.

It is such a treat to converse with Mann, it is really hard not to pass a day without exchanging daily pleasantries and updates on each others lives. Her writings inspire me to be a better person and in more ways than one and it has healed a part of me that I had buried deep within me. It was full on friendship even before our voice came over the phone. What would I have done had she not been there to encourage me and to advice me in numerous occasions. Then there is Buli aka Clouds for you.. she is some girl, she is the sister I always wanted, smart and mature, she is forever there fussing about me and just being there unconditionally; and there are those times I turn to her for help and unabashedly so. Another precious gem is kaylee, a small sweet girl who is a fighter, she is scaring her mom and her illness away with her determination, she fills that part of me that wants to nurture and to care. Then there is Priya and Vanilla Sky, Aviana and of course Bedatri… with them the interactions are not much but their warm words, always backing me up, cheering me and filling me up with positivism is just never failing, it is one big kitty party between us girls. It is great fun to share boy friends woes with Mann and those crushes and typical girlie talks with Buli.

If I share such great fun with the girls can the guys ever be left behind…. Abhishek…. God! Whenever I read his posts I envy his sense of humor and his witty behavior, this guy is all smiles all the time. Mere se free mein apna office presentation karwata hai.. aur girl friend ko gift karne kay liye, gift ka idea bhi leta hai…” bade loog bade log..hassh!” :P but I really wish I could have that cool outlook to life for I know how hard it must be to masquerade those hitches that life entails behind such a cheerful nature. Sumit da, another person I so admire, juggling work and being a writer and a writer par excellence mind you is no easy feat. Mayz he instilled me hope and taught me so many things. His experiences taught me far more than any words of sympathy could ever and that came at a time when I was despairing and loosing faith on my abilities.

Now blogging is emerging as a trend a cool thing to have. Everyone wants one. But when we began writing and penning our thoughts it was just a platform to be us, to voice our opinions and share insights to whoever who would like to be a part of our lives. And now when ive spent so many months posting, I really want to acknowledge all those people who have touched my live in their own special way. Without having you guys to fall back I wonder how I would have survived the rat race of life. Thank you. I feel blessed.

Priyam' Brthday Party

Ive always emphasized how important reunion with friends are, so it goes without saying that meeting with Sayanti and Srimoyee was not only rejuvenating but also something that I hold very dear. So after months of pining for friends and what with stringent hectic schedules making it impossible to meet up, but with the birthday invite of priyam, the fourth pillar of our friendship and reunion brought us together again.

This post is not about what a wonderful time we all had, the familiar jokes, warm hugs and heartfelt emotions that resurfaced as all four of us met yet again ‘together’. But this post is about this other friend we had lost 10 years ago to an unknown illness. Though almost a decade has passed yet the incident had had a great impact on our lives, we never quite got over it all.

Yesterday at Priyams birthday get together, we met Papri’s mom. At a glimpse we recognized her and hesitantly we went over to talk. Tears filled her eyes to see us all grown up. Probably she was reminded of the fact that had Papri been alive she too would have been at the threshold of 21 and on an en route to leaving college. Papri never really grew up, she is still probably all of 10 years old, frozen in our memories. It was very painful for us to see aunty try and combat the reality and suppressed the emotions that threatened to overpower her. What struck us that loosing her only daughter has been too big a blow for her that she has lost her balance of mind. However uncle seemed a lot more stable and faced the world like a brave heart! It was almost a sad and tearful goodbye when we left.

Priyams birthday not just brought the four bestest friends from school back together on one place but it brought us face to face with aunty and in turn it helped us heal and overcome Papri’s loss. All four of us vowed to keep in touch more frequently and not just that to make sure aunty is never neglected from now on. it was one emotional and teary affair when the past caught up with us only to leave us feeling blessed to have such long and enduring friendship.

We humans are strange we do whatever we can to fulfill our needs, after all like Darwin had said, it is the struggle for survival and the fittest survives. i agree and accept the theory but then adopting fair or foul means to do so, to me seems extremely degrading, specially if it entails taking advantage of someone.

A wrong doing is wrong,and so is suffering the wrong doing.i have been used conveniently, even though i am no stalwart in academics just plain hardworking, in every possible way only to discard me later. since i was particularly fond of this one 'so called friend' each time i voluntarily let him use me to suit his purpose. but then something snapped within me, after months of being ignored, the day before exam the call comes to explain the contents of the next days exam, i did. despite being told weeks back of the upcoming exam no one bothered, classes as usual were not attended and instead of studying even at 12Th hour people choose to cheat, and when the question proved too tough and the cheating material insufficient then i became the soft target and i allowed such a practice.

It was only after the exam, i realized how this bloke used me.all year i am ignored and not even spoken to [not that i care anyway] but then minutes before the exam ambrosia flowed and i melted but realization soon came to the rescue and i put my foot down not to be involved in any such practices anymore. i did what i thought was right, i rebelled. i don't know what will be the repercussions that will now follow but then what are those friends for who use you in their time of need and otherwise hardly bother about your existence.its better to have less friends than have a crowd of so called friends who don't even deserve to be called a "friend".