TAGGED AGAIN!!

Nikhil aka Multimenon has tagged me and this time its about 5 obsessions that i have.. i hope i do justice to the tag.

• BLOGGING- my greatest obsession is blogging. my blog is always on my mind even when I'm away from Internet. somehow i often find myself thinking out posts, making mental notes on the things i want to talk to etc. there are times i wish i owned a laptop then putting my thoughts onto my blog would have been easier and more spontaneous till then my black beauty [aka my computer] will do just fine :)

• PERSONAL HYGIENE- personal hygiene is something that really bothers me. specially when I'm commuting and i have nothing to do, i just observe people and what turns me off the most is their utter disinterest with hygiene. they spit on the road, scratch their crotch, pee, dig their noses, make balls of the stuff that comes out of their noses and wipe their fingers on bus seats handles etc, they sneeze without covering their mouth, burp, fart .. and i could go on and on.. its just too yucky and makes me feel not only repelled but rather pukish too. so now you might have gotten the drift just how obsessed i am with personal hygiene. :)

• RELATIONSHIPS-By relationships i don't mean the kind that i share with Samik but in general. relationships are very important to me. i don't know if it is right to call it an obsession but then the amount i value them borders obsession. to me virtual relationships are as important as the real ones. i don't take friendships very loosely. i get attached to people very fast and emotions ranks high in my list of requisites from any person.

• READING- I simply love reading books, I'm forever reading something or the other. in buses and trains or wherever i am. i read books of almost all genres but then it is the romance that tugs my heart strings. i go to all heights to read. when i was young and my parents would forbid me from reading mills and boons or any books due to exams. i would go up to the terrace and then put the books in a plastic bag and tie a string to the bag, and lower it down to the bathroom window. since i use the particular loo no-one but me knew and had access to the bag full of books :)

• CRICKET- Girls+Cricket+ disaster is it? hell no. I've always been a cricket addict as far as i can remember. Sachin used to be my favourite cricketer. i remember i cried loads when once India lost to Sri Lanka at the Edens, so much so both dad and me refused dinner that day. no just that i have silly superstitions regarding the game. i never watch the match while sitting in the room, i somehow feel if i watch it India will loose. i wear blue clothes consciously because i think it will just be lucky! well what all these jazz means is that I'm obsessed with the game and take keen interest in it. so next time you spot a post on cricket updates don't be surprised.

Being a Virgo I'm any way suffering from OCD [Obsessive Compulsive Disorder] so i guess I'm obsessed about most things, thankfully i have been able to choose 5 out of the list of things of which i too am not consciously aware. :)

as for Tagging. i tag Anwesa, Richa, Jinxed pixie, Yams [Yamini], Kajal [pink orchid], American Desi and The Rat :) do take up the tag and allow me to get to know you a bit better! cheerio!

TAGGED!!

Thank god Richa has tagged me, and let me announce with much fanfare how thrilled i am to do this.why?currently I'm in a state of lull where writing is concerned... :)thanks babes! you're a sweetheart!

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about YOU. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

1. i have a strange affinity for smell. smell and memories go hand in hand for me. maybe its the smell of rain, or the aftershave/deo that Samik uses, or maybe just the smell of dhunuchi during pujas.. all bring back memories.
2. im a big time perfectionist.
3. i have a terrible temper.
4. i get attached to people really fast, real or virtual. btw i met Samik online too :d
5. i get along with kids of all ages really fast.
6. I'm usually phobic of heights, blood needles etc but i always am the first one to donate blood, climb precarious heights etc just to face my fear, it gives me a strange feel.
7. i have amazing will power. there are things i can do just on the basis of the will power i have.
8. i cant stay without shampooing my hair, it is a must every 2 days. otherwise i go a lil crazy, that's the only luxury i allow myself.
9. I'm an extremely light sleeper, and can wake up if someone enters my room.
10. i can go days without sleeping. a 10 minute nap can relieve me of days of not sleeping.
11. i get discouraged very fast.
12. most often while reading a romantic novel, i read the ending before starting the book.
13. i can finish fattest of books in a days time. i read harry potter in 20 hours straight, since i couldn't buy the book and i had to borrow it from a friend, id always get it first because i would read it at lightning speed.
14. i may seem dominant in my relationship but I'm the one who abides by all the do's and dont's, and i do all my duties to perfection. the power struggle is not as apparent as it seems.
15. i learnt to move around and act like a lady only after Samik came into my life, it was a conscious change.
16. despite not being extremely spiritual or religious i have a lot of faith on god. to me He is like a friend than a superior power. i'm forever bargaining with Him.
17. Samik is the only person on earth i can give up my dreams and desires for
18. Roshni [my niece] is the only person that makes me have faith in life and humanity.
19. despite being a apparent extrovert. I'm basically an introvert. my inner feelings, fears and apprehensions are often suppressed.
20. I'm a little head-strong and stubborn.
21. i have pretty neat and clean legible handwriting.
22. I'm forever short on clothes and shoes and accessories. once my shopping list is attained a new one crops up. this way I'm forever buying things.
23. I'm great at saving money.
    
24. i curse my being a lady every time i have to deal with "girl things". sometimes i absolutely hate being a girl.
25. I'm prim and proper. i have problems in expressing my emotions upfront. and i suspect i have some intimacy issues as well, maybe because I'm constantly aware of people and their opinion and stuff like that.

Phew! What a list! trust me i had loads of brainstorming to do before i came up with this one. I'm sure you are fatigued too.. na? anyone who wants to do this tag can go ahead.. will be my pleasure I'm just going to name Nikhil [Multimenon] and Mayank[Mayz] and Yams[Yamini] to take this tag because everyone else i know is already going it.

A big thanks to Yamz for this award :) I'm passing it on to Anwesa, Richa, Jinxed Pixie,Nikhil,Mayank and Crystal.

Yay-ness!!

Yup we have made an almost clean sweep at the Oscars. AR Rehman and Gulzar has done us all proud by winning the Oscar. it truly is a proud moment for all of us. CONGRATULATIONS!!

I had watched Slumdog a month or so back. yeah it was good. the photography was amazing. however i wasn't as impressed as the rest. i don't abide by the grotesque and almost raw portrayal of a few things that the director tries to sell in the name of reality cinema. the harsher lines could have been given a softer tough but then to each his own. having said all this, it is evident i don't know why there is such a hyper over Slumdog because it is a well made film but nothing to go ga ga over it according to me. here are a few things i think, its okay if you disagree

1.AR Rehman deserves an Oscar.period. but he had given far greater melodies before, in films like Roja which won him a National Award, Taal, Guru etc all has been masterpiece. is it then because Slumdog is a British production that finally Rehman's talents are been recognized at a world platform?

2.We greedy Indians are hungry for an Oscar even if it comes at our expense. i do champion for realism in movies, but by selling our poverty, making million bucks of it and presenting a picture of all the notorious things India stands for as a global image is hardly what i call an Oscar winning theme. films like TZP, Lagaan, even Swades had potential, and were treated as a mere poor cousin in the Oscar nominees.

3. Gulzar is one of the greatest lyricist in India. but do we need a Jai Ho, to prove his greatness? i think the song came as a bolt out of the blue and a tad bit out of the context and frankly it ruined the kind of high tension crescendo the movie was building up, all for giving the song and dance Bollywood flavour to the movie.

I am an non-entity. However these are the few points i feel we must notie before blindly celebrating just because a Western honour has been heaped on us riding high on British shoulders.

P.S- what shocked me was AR Rehman didn't confirm with Sukhwinder Singh, the singer of Jai Ho about his performance at the Oscars as he was left floundering for confirmation, only to realize that Mr Rehman wasn't actually taking him along.

WHAT HAS THE WORLD COME TO?

There is so much i want to write about. i type a few lines and then discard the post and then begin afresh each time it is the same thing. why does the fear of been looked through, stripped of my personal thoughts, emotions and beliefs makes me feel so vulnerable and defenseless? it is the shadow of being revealed that makes me apprehensive to be just me. what then makes me different than those who have mastered the art of masquerade? why does the hypocrisy, corruption, conceit then effects me? and how long do i thus withstand the onslaught of such tyranny?

Letting people effect you is a sin; caring for others forbidden, using people as stepping stone to move ahead the mantra and money, social recognition and fame the only attributes to a successful life! this is how most in today's world function, sadly this is true where even parents are looked at as commodities and morals?well they donot exist! where has the innocence gone? where are the people of warmth and values? where does this take us? do we really qualify as humans or are just reduced to machines: which feels not reacts. what use is such a life then?

Knock Knock!!

Hey you there??

Are you listening?!

God!! Hello..............

Uff!! really!! this is height!

Really where the hell are you?

What? busy? yet again?

Can't you spare a moment for me?

here now see... you can find time if you want to,

now don't play a spoil port... yea, i know you are there, listening...

Yes, yes, I'm here to crib again and to say sorry.for what?well remember the last time i reached out to you? well I'm sorry. i didn't know what i was saying then. if i thought i was having a bad time then, then now,is the worst of the lot. now if you heard what had i had said the last time, you should have acted on it.but there, but i guess your government in heaven are malfunctioning again because my plight hasn't been fixed yet! yes yes you heard it right. it hasn't! do wake up! enough now! I'm tired and extremely angry. you don't want me to silly childish stuff... now do you?Na i guess not.so speed up your delivery and respite systems and clear my hurdles. its really high time now!see it wont be really good if i get down to business you see, can get ugly. so id rather try the good way. but if you are hell bent on throwing one hurdle after another, and that too at people like me,really there are major cause for concern. so if you really want to be in my good books, flex your muscles, try some tricks and get things done. then na people will say..ailaah! Bhagwaan kya cheez hai re..uske ghar mein der hai par andher nahi [there may be delays but never denials]chal chal enough of nautanki..get to business and resolve my problems... or else...

Hi!!

This is yet another post on Me, but honestly i cant help it, i couldn't find anything else to write na...so if you think i am becoming a narcissist with all these posts on me and life.. you are in all probability right. but no worries i will try and rectify it all once i get well a little bit.

So whats up with me? well the temperature sure is. i have caught a bad case of cold and have high fever. with my niece gone on Friday, i guess i had a bit of 'i-miss-my-niece-' syndrome too. and surely sitting in an AC auditorium for 4 and a half hours straight didn't quite help, on top of it, i returned home with high fever.

Well actually i had gone for our college campus-ing for GOOGLE. Yup you heard it right. and believe me the presentation they put up of life at Google, left me drooling and wanting and wishing i could be a apart of it. it is every media/advertising aspirants dream come true. with benefits like, pick and drop, insurance, free food and transport and phone connection, spas and massages etc. :P okay the work ambiance is to die for. okay don't jump the gun! i just sat for the written interview, they will get back to us in 3-4 weeks, then then there are 4 rounds of interviews and ultimately the selection. i just hope, wish and pray that i get in. please pray for me na..pretty polly please!!! :D :P

Just when i decided to be less of the lazy bones that i have evolved into, all my noble plans are totally wasted. our college fest:Sanskriti began from today. everyone is almost everywhere, rehearsals for fashion show dance, poetry writing etc.. and i feel totally a misfit because these things don't excite me anymore. classes too aren't on. festive ambiance reigns. Bangla rock band FOSSILS, whose lead singer Rupam sang, the song from the movie Jannat [with Emraan Hashmi] this guy has some fan base truly. when there is a live performance by Fossils, the crowd sings with him, and the crowd has a distinct voice of its own, the people are in a trance like state, they are really good. then Cassini's Division too is turning up, they too are a local band but of great repute. so this week promises to end in some fun,frolic and laughter, but you think my plans of having fun is going to be unmarred?Never! i have a test on Friday, just before the fest began on its last day!sigh! no matter what have to study for that too.. :) i guess our teachers are big patrons of 'All play and no work makes Jack a dull boy!'

Sorry people if i haven't been really frequent on your blog. my sincere apologies. I'm just bed ridden with cold and fever. pardon me. will be back visiting all your blogs in no time. till then stay happy and spread the cheer! :)

P.S- a big thank you to Anwesa, Yams [Yamini], and my twin Nikhil, for being absolute sweethearts,for their kindess and concern, they keep scolding me and ordering me to get to bed. im really touched people.thanks a ton for being such great friends!

Valentine's day celebrations

Yeah still a little drunk... literally and otherwise on Valentines Day spirit! i just wanted to share just what i did to make my day a memorable one.

thats my gift to samik

The fact that Samik is not going to Bangalore after all may be a stale news but it was the one thing i was grateful of all throughout the day. i just couldn't bring myself to imagine, what if samik had to go? would my day still hold as much love and happiness as today? i guess not. with no fear of separation haunting me, i let my hair down and relaxed and enjoyed myself thoroughly today. first i sent Samik a voice sms yesterday night to wish him, and he was mighty happy and surprised. Our excitement and love was so great, specially since we fought earlier on, that we couldn't help but tell each other what we are gifting each other!! :D :P and guess what? we both got each other almost identical stuff; a watch a card and that too in a matching carry bag and cases!! take about great minds thinking alike!! phew!! :D :P lolzy!

samik's gift me

Then Yours Truly cooked lunch, okay i just made the chicken and mom made the rest. samik was prompt on time after his office and we had a hearty meal.btw he did say the chicken was delicious.. even if he didn't... i know i loved the food i cooked! :P The afternoon passed lazing around with mom. early evening we strolled on our terrace and chatted up. and left later to a ancient Kolkata tour. we went to the second Hoogly Bridge, the city lights shinning over the river Hoogly was a spectacular view. then we made our way to one of the poshest Restaurants on Part Street, our first formal dinner, with vodka for me and beer for samik, a first too, that too together :D now you know why I'm rambling? coz yea even after a few minutes.. or is it hours? i do feel like i dont have any control over my senses... okay where was i? dinner.. yea.. had a wonderful meal, the band was amazing, they were playing all English hits from the 90's, that really added a lot to the mood and ambiance.

This is the first "perfect" valentines day i ever had. earlier 4 times with Samik, was marred by something or other. but this time was magnificent. and what better way to end it but by blogging about it and read the beautiful post written by Yamini on her blog.. do read it... the link is here. i hope you guys had a gala time?? Wishing you all a very happy valentines day!! hope you guys had fun!!

Valentine's day

Valentines day- a day of love and sharing. to some it is just another day and to others, yet another day to officially celebrate love. to each his own and that's the specialty of this day. we choose to celebrate it or just go with the flow. after all India is a democratic country and here we are free to exercise our basic fundamental rights of expression and do as we please.

What is shocking is watching TIMES NOW and see several conservative and orthodox sections of our society, the so called moral police, going on record to say that the if couples are spotted together then they would have to face the brunt of their anger and distaste and all in the name of culture, tradition and so called good taste of chaste Hindu society. In Bhopal, a Temple committee which has women up in arms with the rolling pin [belan] to teach the young love birds a lesson if found together on Valentine's Day. Not just that, a part still calling themselves somewhat liberal have vowed to get a couple married in much pomp and fanfare, if they were spotted romancing or moving around the society together. this is both appalling and rather shocking. In 21st century, where we claim to move forward, where our constitution boasts of LIBERTY, EQUALITY,FREEDOM and FRATERNITY; we have certain sections of our society threatening to take dire consequences against what They consider immoral.

This is utterly disgusting! these so called moral police is rather taking over the life of the youth, setting barriers and formulating codes of conduct. Suddenly i feel the Talibanism has taken over a country that boasts of being Democratic and values Freedom of Expression. the point is not Valentine's Day celebration. the point is if a young adult, or two people in love choose to celebrate togetherness then who are these moral police to prove to be hindrances?? is this the kind of India we envision? is this the kind of India all mothers would want their children to thrive in? i guess not. if you too think that this is wrong? then protest, join the Pink Chaddi campaign or the Pub Bharo andolan. the choice is between freedom of expression and being moral policed into doing something we may not even believe in. make the choice, stand up for what you believe is right.

All about love

If you think this is a Valentines day induced post then you are wrong. Valentine's day has practically nothing to do with love, but you do get yet another reason to smile, to tell your loved one that he/she means the world to you, to shower gifts and attention to the one who completes you. love and the object of my love has been hogging every living moment in my life of late. what with Samik having to leave the city for better job offers, the prospect of dealing with life away from him and of course the insecure feelings of what next, once he left.

This week almost four years back, was marked by chaos and confusion. i was getting involved with this new friend, who slowly came to occupy a prominent space in my life. being hurt and battered from previous relationship, with emotional baggage to carry and scars that hadn't healed, i had taken the leap of faith. i have been less than perfect myself, i had built a wall around me, guarding it with my pride and self esteem and so much so that i have probably blocked Samik out, not relying or trusting him to deal with me, all these years. but when one is threatened to lose the one person who is indispensable to his /her life, then he/she realizes their true worth. maybe i did too. frankly i don't think anyone but Samik is capable of handling my atrocious temper, my fanaticism about perfection, my inherent need to critique not just others but myself; and all this and more makes Samik the one person who made me realize almost four years after being in love with him, that i really do love him and it is not just a deep seated need in me to crave for security and stability, that Samik offers me to perfection.

Funny! isn't it but my life is nothing short of being a comedy of errors and if you know me from close quarters then you'd know just what kind of love-hate relationship we share. despite being poles apart, diametrically opposite we are like paper and glue and somehow i have come to accept this imperfection and love it as well. ask me now what is love? and if I'm honest to myself id tell, i don't really know. to me love means, to be there for each other through thick and thin, to trust the other person with my mind, body and soul; to reach out to him in agony and pain, in happiness and in disdain. to feel for him enough to let down my guard and if need be, to lower my ego to reach out.

Wondering why all this talk of love? and thinking i should have posted this on valentines day? hell no, I'm not insane. like Samik i don't believe in love being reserved for valentines day, if i feel it today i will express it today and not wait till the 14th of Feb. cliched? who cares! i don't! i was scared and at my wits end, thinking of a life apart from Samik. despite being a tough girl i knew i just couldn't do it, there wasn't a scope either to revert things because there wasn't much to do. but [thankfully] or sadly.. no thankful i am that Samik is not going to Bangalore, Ive never really been this happy or relieved or so grateful to God, ever! but i am. i know what i went through and just how hard it was for me to be in a state where at night i felt relieved that samik wasn't going but then again in the morning he changed his mind, and decided to leave, it was the most traumatic week of my life but in the end relief came rushing back and i could cry with joy! i know Samik did this for me at the cost of his pride and self dignity, he sacrificed his dreams and hopes for me, and for this i respect and love him more. i always had this against him, that i could sacrifice my dreams and desires for him but he didn't love me enough to do it for me. but even though he never said those words to me, he did them for me. for the first time in life, i left happy and proud despite being defeated.

There is no pride in admitting you are wrong, in reaching out to your loved one, no shame to admit your love. i know i am being emotionally challenged, i have intimacy issues, i may not say it too often, or i may actually shrug off the feeling. but it is there, for all to see. i may be headstrong and stubborn and an extremely angry person, he maybe foolish and a moron.. a 'foolish moron' but despite the imperfections having him around completes my world, never mind the flaws and imperfections. Maybe this is love for me, and i truly Love Samik.

Bolt from the blue

It is a strange feeling when out of the blue comes someone whom you had lost in time. the feel is a little surprising, a whole lot queasy and nostalgic too. and when it happens to be your first crush whom you thought didn't notice you at all then. well i reopened my Facebook account again, for the god-knows-how-many-Th-time! and there was this invitation from this person called Maradona. and stunned i sat, staring at the invitation for whole 5 minutes. [Now his real name is Soumya and but he was popular by his nick name from the time i knew him.]

He was the first ever guy, i noticed and i had an instant crush on him. No i never told him i liked him, i never felt the need. Instead i helped him propose to my friend :D yeah crazy i was! but i was happy! i remember how i used to go to my skating classes without fail just so that mam would tell me to show him a few steps, and how happy i had been when once mam told me to hold his hands and show him the steps better. Nervous and excited almost apprehensive to hold hands, but he had reached out to take my hands in his to get me started. sigh! :D i remember how he used to be this stud, despite not being good looking and all, and id be just another girl, whom he barely noticed. once i had gone to our club, where there was a fair and i accompanied my neice, to climb up the 'air castle'- those things where kids are sent to jump and climb up, just to see him from the very top. damn! i never dared to tell him anything, maybe because i didn't think i was good enough; or because i was happy staring and admiring him from afar. i don't think he ever noticed me as an entity ever!

But apparently i was wrong. so am i happy or what? well a little to see that he actually found me out after almost10 years. that sure was something. made me smile at all those childish things i had done, just to see him. and how on finally realizing, that i never really existed for him, i withdrew from the club, never to go there again, which i still don't even now. but really thinking back i cant help but smile even those tears i had shed thinking of never seeing him and the dramatic feeling that i was moving away for good, had a sense of innocent love and is really endearing now. sigh!

Chicken pox

I have been presented with a very strange responsibility. my niece has contracted chicken fox and the poor girl is stranded at my place, since her mom is a working mother and cant take leave from her school, and her granny has a broken hip. so she is to stay with us, as ive had my chicken fox before, so she is all mine for the next few weeks until her quarantine is over. so yeah there is a reason to celebrate for every night is a sleep over night but then comes additional responsibilities. since my niece is attached to me she refuses to have food from anyone but me. we had gotten a separate bed in my room now just so that we can be close. my responsibilty entails night shifts too, for knwoing my neice she has this habit of roaming all over the bed while sleeping. loo sessions and water drinking in the middle of the night.. but hey im not complaining! after all i took care of my neice full time when she was but a baby for nearly two months or so! :)

So now there will be yet another reason to come home early. really i'm looking forward to my nurse and baby trainings! you can well imagine what a sight it is all going to be, pillow fights and midnight snacks and sneaking into the tv room for some cartoons, and the soap sud fights. life is going to be tough for the little darling! after all staying away from her daddy dearest is the last thing that amuses her, so yea the tears are threatning to spill now and then. but hey super masi is here... and there is no fear! just imagine how happy i was hearing the news, was hopping about in excitement and Roshni [my niece] joined in the happy dance and mom was almost exasperated just thinking of managing the two kids at home. hey the next few days seems like fun. will keep you guys updated, now i just have to go and put my niece to bed. until later. cya! cheerio!

Kolkata Book Fair

The book fair in Kolkata is quite a rage, it just adds to our cultural and ethnic value. lakhs of students, men, women, intellectuals, laureates, authors and poets turn up to make the whole fair the seat of culture literature and promote reading as an habit, an inherent part of our culture. whats amazing is to have almost all publishing houses, bookstores, authors and poets under one roof, who are easily approachable. imagine painters bringing on their paintings on one ground not large scale thought, but small painters who make their livelihood by the selling of their miniature paintings.. well known singers on one podium with crowds gathering all around them.

Its a maha dating and getting hooked spot of the youth. you should just see the couples queuing
up there and those first glances and all. specially since Bengali's own valentines day aka Sarawati puja just went past, its hot property. many like me just go there to savour the ambience and for the sake of just going and its all in good fun. but with the heavy discounts buy books can never come at a better timings. though Book Fair at Maidan grounds are my all time favourites, but that was stopped due to environmental pollution, now Kolkata Book Fair finds new grounds everywhere but the charm is still there. this is the only such fair to be held on such a massive scale, the place to be if you are a book lover and specially if you are big on culture and tradition.

LUCKBYCHANCE

I watched Zoya Akhtar's directorial debut Luck by Chance, the movie is an honest attempt about the film industry with its nitty ghitties, the casting directors, the starry tantrums, the ingrateful star towards his discoverer. Farhan Akhtar was as usual in his subtle but promising self, and it was an impressive act that he put up, Konkona sensharma was her usual self delivering her best but noteworthy was the costumes, she looked pretty with new experiments in her wardrope, quite liked it. Rishi Kapoor was amazing and so was Hrithik Roshan in a two bit role and Isha Sherwani in her mamma's doll character was quite convincing too. Dimple Kapadia held on her own and made most of her screentime. hordes of other actors from the film fraternity made the film drew the interest and added to the star quotient to the film.

Confidence and possitive thinking takes one to places but it is important to remember those from the summit who were there when you were no-one this was the subtle message. this movie was nothing out of the world to talk about according to me[ i may be wrong] but then the attempt was good and the outcome was quite enjoyable, with the witty oneliners and the cast was just right for everyone played their part to perfect. I quite enjoyed myself, so my verdict is a 3/5* a worthy effort by the debutant director, may be a worthy of a second time watch.