Happy Women's day!!

Since its women’s day I thought of penning my two cents on something that has been on my mind of late. You shouldn’t be reading this post a) if you are a guy b) if you are that kind of a guy who hates reading about girlie banter that revolves around cosmetics and then will proceed to make acerbic comments! And you must read this if a) you are a woman b) you are a guy and have enough maturity to read something about women and if not appreciative but be tolerant of it, it can’t be that bad can it?

So since the prelude is over now for kill. Read the following and make a mental note, and this is strictly for the ladies…

-Do you wax/shave your legs only when you have to wear a skirt, three quarters, shorts or swim wear?

-Do you tweeze or pluck your eyebrows only when its really bushy?

-Do give/ get yourself a pedicure only because of the dead skin making its presence felt?

Mark the underlined words and make a mental note of the answer.

So I had this manager of sorts, who was rather cool with her funky outlook to life. We had similar taste in music, books and we got along really well! What made her rather cooler was that a tattoo on her left breast, I thought that to be like wow! The dragon lady has some spunk but then she decided to show me the other tattoo on her ankle. She lifts her leg of her jeans to reveal the cute devil, but hey that was hardly the thing that captivated me. I was horrified to see her legs!! Those were the most horrendous legs I had ever seen!!

 Holy cow! I’m not some fashion guru, God knows, I may have more fashion faux pas to my credit, than anything else. Hey who am I kidding, I started to take care of myself, indulging in some girlie frills and graces only in the last year or so. But even during my tom boyish days, I would do the basics to keep myself groomed and presentable!

My point is, we women are strange. When we have a date or we are seeing someone, we are conscious about what we wear, how we look, how we smell etc etc. We wouldn’t be caught dead with a sweaty smell or a smudged kajal (okay look who is talking here…im the queen of panda eyes :D) so what happens to us when we get into a committed relationship or say marriage? Why do we stop talking care of ourselves? Do we only do things because it is expected of us? Do we do it only to please someone we love and care about? If yes then why do we stop doing it? Reason can be anything but the important part is doing it for ourselves. 

Doesn’t it feel absolutely heavenly on those days when you heat some water pour some body wash and dip your feet in and let the water soothe your muscles softening your heels, and then you just follow it up with scrubbing your toes and painting your nails. I mean it’s great to pamper oneself because we are totally worth it. Whether you are single, married or dating, living alone or with family; why forget yourself, why forget that you have a life of your own even amidst the hustle and bustle of life! So this women’s day do the things that you feel great about, buy the pair of shoes you have been longing for but have been saving instead, go get a haircut or read the book you have wanted to, paint your nails, wash your hair! Don’t lose yourself in the mundane day to day life because nothing can be worse!

Smile and the world will smile with  you! : ) Happy women’s day to all you lovely ladies!!

P.S- I got myself a haircut, bought amazing earrings, pampered myself, and cooked yummy strawberry custard! Yay me..

Oh btw…  do drop in your email id in the comments segment…(please please please) even those who think I know your email id… in 5 days flat this blog is going private… I promise I’ll add you up so that you can continue reading me! : )

Learning to say No

How many times has it happened to you, when someone came up to you and asked you something that would totally inconvenience you and you could not help but agree. why? all because you cant say "no"

Well if you think you are the only one here's someone to keep you company. meet "me" yea you read it right. I'm the maha example of this. i just cant seem to make myself say "sorry but i really cant" "no not now maybe later?" "can you please ask someone else?" well this trait of mine has led me to many a situation where i had to do something i really dint want to. imagine few days back this girl came up to me and told me know what i have mehendi on my palms i cant really wash my hair will you just shampoo it for me. for once i did wonder why she didn't ask her room-mates instead of approaching me... but before i could say no i simply shrugged and i spent rest of the morning washing her hair *making a face* (there is a hair controversy with her .. )

Then again one day this girl's roomie comes up to me when i was watching a movie.. "hey can you please help me wax my arms i cant do it on my own" and i was like "hmm sure i will.. " and she was... okay come over now then.. and i was like WTF! but i did go along with her...leaving my movie unfinished.. these two incidents really shook me... i mean what kind of a dufus was i?!.. and then i went on damage control...

From then on whoever asked me for some help i made it a point to say 'no', no matter what. so when this girl P asked me if she could use the Mac i was using to copy footage while i was editing.. i just said no... when M asked me if she could borrow my hard drive i definitely told her no.. but saying no did land me in some sort of a fix because when my professor asked me to fetch a book for her from the library i blatantly told her "no" !! but of course i managed to rectify my stand before she got pissed...

so the moral of the story is... Learn to say no but first see who the person is in front of you..unless you want to be kicked where it hurts the most! :)

Love,Career and Relationships

i have watched Love Aj Kal a couple of weeks back, and i have been meaning to write something regarding my perception of modern day relationships but what finally makes me write this post is not just the movie but what my prof at college had to say in our class. before i go on to my take on this whole "love,career and relationship" topic lemme assure you the prof I'm talking about is someone i really respect and admire but it is one of the things she said that got me thinking.

This professor kept on telling us in class [and she does this almost everyday] that if you have be a good journo what you need to do is, chuck your boy friends and girl friends to leave you alone for the remaining 9 months.

in love aj kal, Meera and Jai decide to call off their relationship, even though it was great and was working fine but because they had to shift to a different city and it would be inconvenient.

i am no one to pass judgements on todays youth, im no moral police... but when it comes to me i can speak for myself. i somehow find these two incidents really strange. im in a really hectic course where stress rules high, no time to spare and no personal space but even then i never fail to take time out, after i am done with my studies and work to talk to my guy or my parents or my loved ones..

my point is, life now is competitive, far more than the generation or two before. where its cut throat competition, but that does not mean one gives up human emotions and relationships in favour of a career or better life. one of the most important words in life is balance. nothing is possible without balance. a career is really not worth it if one doesn't have someone or loved one to share it with, the successes or the failures, the moments of achievement or utter dejection... in the same time I'm not in favour of an idle life with no direction.

what do you think? is career more important or love? or a mix of both? what would have been your choice and why?

Time to be gay and merry.... its a breather!

I felt so GAY reading the 2ND of July Delhi High Court ruling that says consensual same sex is not a crime and this is nothing short of history.

i am heterosexual in nature and like me many are and may revel in the fact flaunting of being 'natural' and the accepted i society. but no one said that because we are born heterosexuals, other alternate sexuality is taboo are banned. i know my post will invite wrath from most homophobic males and females alike, i speak up because it is important for me to. one of my bestest buddies is from alternate sexuality and that doesn't make him any less of a friend in fact he has been a great academician, a brilliant movie maker, a store house of creativity and the only friend who has lasted from beginning to end with me. being so called "straight" it was hard on me to understand fully what exactly it meant but i learnt to understand that it is not a matter of 'choice' but it is 'natural' like it is for us.

Delhi HC rule comes late but at least it comes as a respite to all those who were weighed down under the burden of being outcast living in fear of being tagged "criminal". i don't know if there will be more and more people now coming out of the closet but i sure hope now even the minority will have a place where they belong. if you are one of those who believe that Gays and Lesbians and Transsexuals are are aliens from another planet who contaminate our normal life.. then please go get a life and find a valuable way to rot on planet earth.

Insecurities

Insecurity is one of those negative feelings that comes to us when we feel threatened or the fear of losing someone gets to us. we have all faced insecurity some point of time in life. and we all know even though having an insecurity is not exactly a good thing we understand why it happens. most often the one who is in no way responsible for arousing such feels loses out on a good friendship just because another person has insecurities about him/her, sometimes the reasons for such insecurity is not valid at all.

The reason i am writing about this is because not only have i been infected by insecurity but i have also been affected by it too at some point in my life. and here is what i feel. sometimes insecurities are justified and sometimes not.. I'm sure many think what do you mean by justified.. what i simply mean is...sometimes we do things that purposely sets off the other person... but then there are times our respective others/close friends feel all insecure about a few other friends or a friend for no reason. there is a catch, most of my friends claim that they have been victimised where they lost out on a friend because their bf/gf has had a problem with him/her. in someway we are all the butt of insecurities whether we ourselves harbour it or we are subjected to it.. 

Now what do you do if you respective other is insecure about a particular friend. what do you do? give up your friend for your boy friend/ girl friend ?? what is your take on insecurities?

P.S- answering the questions is a must... and my answer will be posted as a comment..

Make your vote count

I so wanted to write a post on the upcoming elections and the fact that we must exercise our right to vote. but then being apolitical and politics illiterate I'm hardly the person to write it. all i feel right now is that we voters hardly have options from which to vote from. and its more of voting the lesser of the evils from the whole lot. that's hardly assuring isn't it? what amuses me and in turn disgusts me, is the mudslinging every party engages in just to promote themselves. there is no decorum or decency. moreover a new trend has made its presence felt, that is of flinging of the shoe towards the politicians, while it may just mirror the anger and sheer annoyance on the part of the common man, it however does not justify itself, for it was done in real bad taste. what is hilarious is the political manifestos... see them and tally them with the youth and the youth problems and you will have yet another reason not to vote even though the political parties are trying their best to woo the youth who constitute the majority of vote the bank. but hey does not mean you don't vote... do ahead and vote, for change.

check this link it is a video.. it was shot in my college with me and my friends... most of whom you will recognize! :) have fun watching the video and don't forget to vote.

Take a look at: Tubaah: Young voters in Kolkata feel disconnected with politicians

NDTV news reporter Monideepda Banerjee [in green salwar] in the centre,
Satrajit, Ishani, Shubhankar, Monideepa mam, Me, Soumik
Payel, Tista,Pooja, Rohit and Arindam

ones in red are my friends, whom i had mentioned before :)

Hungry kya!!

the other day i was at a popular pizza parlour for dinner. while i was waiting for the pizza to arrive i sat there noticing just how the pizza place worked and what i saw really intrigued me. Domino's goes by the tag line.. 30 min nahi toh pizza free [delivery in 30 minutes, for the pizza is all yours for free] a lot has been said about the safety of these pizza delivery boys, who risk their lives by driving rashly just to deliver pizzas on time.. its been said that the pizza that comes to you for free after 30 minutes of ordering, is actually compensated to you by the price being deducted from the pizza boy's salary and hence the rush and the life risk.

when we order a pizza all we are concerned is about just how the pizza will be like and if can avoid paying for such a sumptuous meal. the other day while eating at their joint i was observing how the pizza delivery boys were functioning. they had their own way of encouraging each other, appreciating each other; and it was really heartening. every time a delivery boy delivered the pizza and came back within the 30 minutes of the pizza being made and delivered, he earns a few points which adds to their track records. one of the guys came back in record time and the cheer he received from his colleagues really touched me.

these people who survive working on such jobs, most of which we ourselves wouldn't even consider doing. maybe its just the Indian mindset where working for pizza parlours or coffee shops is against our pride even if it earns us the bucks we so need. when we enjoy our bite of the pizza, we don't even look up at the smiling face of the guy who brings us our order with a smile. when the guy at the door holds the door open for us at a popular food join,and thanks us for our visit we walk away without even hearing what he had to say.

No one prescribed these as good habits, no weren't told that we need to pay attention to such people who make a difference in whichever way to us but shouldn't we be doing it? for humanity's sake? whenever dining out at some eatery with Samik, we make it a point to smile and thank the people who serve us and look up and smile at the doorman too and trust me, our doing so makes a difference. we are a regular at a small roadside teashop on the fringes of the city, where we often go for a drive and to hang out; we talk to the local tea shop owner and his brother, and treatment that we receive from them is really heartwarming, we are always served first, we are always made welcome and seats are found immediately at least to seat me, and if we have been absent for too long, the next visit he makes it a point to inquire after us. and despite the fact that there are other coffee shops in that area we always prefer to go back to that tea shop in shambles because of the warmth and hospitality of the people there.

its very easy to see and not notice. but what kind of existence is this? it doesn't take a lot to smile, to acknowledge another person's existence. doing a good turn will not just make the other person happy but you too. so don't lead a life but live your life and make a difference! it actually works!!

Social Menace 5

I have been noticing a few things lately about people and their lack of emotions in a public sphere. i have written posts previously critiquing the society and just how people move about within social framework. but however what i encountered recently left me aghast and wondering if people at all have humanity left?

1st incident- i was traveling with my niece, we had had a long journey and we were returning from meeting one of my friends who stay in the outskirts of the city. by the time we were returning, my niece was totally fatigued ready to drop, and she complained of headache; to which i didn't pay attention as my main aim was to get her home before she actually fell sick. during the bus ride she turned pale and complained of feeling pukish, at this time i finally decided to get off with her and take her in a cab or something. as i was about to get her off the bus, she almost puked,almost.but with her hand firmly on her mouth, we got off as Samik stayed back.and what i heard from Samik about what he went through after we got off was alarming. apparently the passengers were almost up in blows because my niece while getting off the bus in a rush tripped over a lady's Saree and that dirtied her Saree. my god! as if my niece did that on purpose and she was actually doing all present a Cavour by not puking there and then on the bus, instead she waited patiently to puke once we got off. poor Samik got into a brawl of sorts which had threatened to turn nasty..damn don't people feel anymore? after all a child was sick and it wasn't as if she did that on purpose!! grrr! :X

Incident 2- I'm learning driving these days, Samik was kept in the dark about it. so today when his new car arrived i surprised him by driving a little bit, and while he was instructing me to take a turn and then get the car to halt, and i believe i did so very well but the man standing round the corner was an old man, who fumed and yelled at us for nothing, it wasn't as if i was about to hit him or anything.gawd!! i apologized to the man profusely because i thought i scared him and he turned around and started abusing me...i mean if i was at fault i apologized for it right? and even then instead of understanding, and specially disregarding the fact that I'm a girl, the man started abusing me. sheesh! i wonder if people have lost their etiquette's or the fact there is something called humanism.

Really these two incidents have made me wonder have people nowadays lost their manners or their humanity? have they stopped feeling for others? have we become so immune to the plight or problems of others??

Overwhelmed!!

I have tons to say, most things are serious, but before gettting into graver things, i'd like to apologize to Mayank, Nikhil, Anwesa and Yamini, who really thought i was leaving,if viewed from a different angle, my April Fools joke wasn't all that funny. but i found out just how much my blogger friends mean to me and vice versa and that is overwhelming.. and for those who guessed it out that i was indeed fibbing... :) well... i dont know what to say \m/ you guys are tough to fool! so in case you fell for it and thought i was leaving you for good.. wooohoohahahaa.. i'm not.. im very much here.. like they say.. quitters never win and winners never quit!

Now on to what happened today. i have never felt this overwhelmed and humbled like this before, by the end of the experience i could barely hold tears back, and i feel ungrateful and extremely selfish in life but before walking out of the place i made myself a promise, even if i can't do anything directly for the situation but i will try my best to value what i have and lead a more meaningful life.

I had an interview at an NGO today. this NGO provides education and upkeep of destitutes, orphans and mostly children of prostitutes. before you cringe and form opinions i'd entreat you to read what i have to tell you. Initially i too was very reluctant to apply and even go for the interview, because their main centre was amidst Kolkata's red light area, but on my sisters insistence and since she was supposed to accompany me i agreed. both of us walked the by lanes going deeper and deeper into a congested lane, shops lined either sides of the streets. people eyed the two of us, wondering where the two of us were heading in the locality of the ill repute. after a lot of asking, a prostitute herself helped my sister find the right lane which after several twists and turns lead us to an old house and then a narrow staircase took us up to a terrace and a grill gate on one side. we opened the gate and walked in. [till this point, i knew i would say no to the offer because traveling to that locality everyday was something i knew i could never do, but if they transferred me to their other branch, which is somewhat near home, i knew i could still do it.]
the sight that greeted us took me aback somewhat. on a carpet, lay 20-30 odd children all asleep, and the happy smiles on their face showed just how peaceful they were and happy being there. down the hall we went into the administration office where we had to wait for almost two hours till the lady in charge walked in. those two hours i met some of my sisters students, who study in the same school as the one my sister teaches in. once they woke up and noticed my sister they came running, and in moments i lost tract of my sister amidst hugs and kisses and constant chattering. as we sat there we saw what the children's routine was like, after napping they woke up to a glass of warm milk and biscuits and then after playing a while they got down to their books. they seemed like any normal kid running and playing around but it is their smiles that set them apart from any other kid, because they were the brightest and the happiest. what i heard about their backgrounds later, left me stunned, aghast and totally overwhelmed.

yes i got the job, and thankfully i will be teaching in their different branch which is situated in a better locality and it was just the thing i wanted. but when i walked out of the NGO office, what the lady in charge had to say, rang in my ears. most of the children of were brought up in the NGO was rescued from their homes in the locality, their mothers were prostitutes, most were alcoholics and subjected their children to abuse both verbal, physical and sexual. if you are shuddering already dont, more to come. i met this girl whom i so liked, her name was kajal. kajal was the eldest of the three kids,age 10 she was a surrogate mother to her younger siblings, while her mother was with clients locked up in their house she used to baby sit her siblings and was often subjected to molestation by her mothers clients and people from the locality. there was this guy, Rakesh whose mother woke up at 11 and barely managed to get him ready or get him food, and abused him badly both physically and sexually until he was rescued and incidentally he comes first in his form. Little akash aged 6 has a broken arm because of his drunken mother; all their children had one thing in common, the identity of their fathers is not known.


so much happening in their lives, so many scars that has almost taken away their innocence; but then how do they smile, how do they try harder and harder each time to be a better human being? how people like us scorn such women and their bastard children but then there are people among us who step in front and give a helping hand. what i simply loved was there were many, relatively young people who work for and towards these children, and they do so without any restraints. and these children having got a glimmer of hope in the dark alleys and glitter curtains, smell of stale sex and alcohol; they try and bring themselves up and help those who help them be a better human being. despite seeing their mothers being decked up each evening for a new man, a new client, someone who is not their father, mothers who hardly act like one instead sell themselves to sustain to survive; these children haven't lost their smiles or the hope that they too can lead a life like any other children. the optimism and the will to survive made me feel so humble and yet so ungrateful, i remembered just how i crib for the tough life i lead, studies, students, admissions, college, job etc etc but this time i knew how futile and silly my problems are, that their are greater issues in life, just because they are camourflaged in the darkest corner of the society doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

another thing that really struck me was, while we were lost and trying to find our way, my sister called out to this lady "Didi can you please direct me to Night Light?" the lady looked up startled at being addressed "Didi", she was a prostitute getting ready for the evening, she didnt react to it but the smile she gave my sister was one that was grateful and full of respect. why do we forget that these ladies are women too. why do we forget that these women are at times under compulsion to self themselves to strangers each night year after year?? why do we use the word "prostitute" as a slur to abuse someone we dislike? aren't they humans too? who gave us the right to judge them and categorize them as fallen women, and as an outcast?

As we walked out of the dingy lane, retracing our steps from where we had entered almost 3 hours earlier, we saw a bevy of beautiful ladies, young and really pretty, giggling away trying to prepare themselves for the evening, while the so called 'dignified' and 'refined' ladies walked by giving them dirty glances and the men caste their lustful eyes, eyeing them in the sleaziest way; i turned away and started walking ahead, tears brimmed my eyes and i silently brushed them aside. in the brightness of the so called civilized society exist at its core, a dark dark world, in the din of laughter and cheerful banter, agonized moans and heart wrenching cries are muted, muted by circumstances, by compulsion, by need and survival.

Earth Hour and its utility

Since today is the Earth Hour day from 8.30-9.30pm and the lights have to be out, i take it that you are all going to comply, you have to, its about protecting our environment, and yes even an hour of power saving helps. so while you do humanity a favor here are 5 things you can do to kill time ...

1~ Go for a walk, alone or with your loved ones, walking in the dark can be fun..
2~ arrange for a candle light dinner for the loved one.. or if you are single why not have dinner with friends and family?
3~play old fashioned games like ludo or carom, or spend quality time with family, talking over tea or snacks

4~why not take a power nap?one feels refreshed after a nap.. really helps trust me..
or if you are in a relationship, sneak in those kisses now and then,
mind you don't blame me if you get caught. :)
5~ if you have mosquitoes at your place learn to kill them in one whack!!, it can be fun!! or you could think....
dont ask me about what? ab kya main soch ne ka kaam bhi kar doon..alsi kahi kay!

P.S-Sorry i couldn't think of a better 'things to do'. im too tired and sleepy for words, i have been up since 4 this morning!! and i have to wake up at four again!! :(

P.S 2- thanks Ria for passing on the information about Earth Day!!

Real Men

I'm not a feminist. I believe in gender equalities. my idea about men was pretty limited to my dad specially since i have grown up in an all girls convent school and i didn't really have brothers as role models. and i must say i haven't done pretty bad myself, because my dad fits the role of an ideal man to me. i know, i know, you just be thinking " how obvious! Daddy's little girl.." etc etc no its not that, i have met friends who happen to be men and they seem well turned out as well. but of late the men i come across, friends and other Friend's boy friends, well I'm beginning to feel a lot disillusioned.. don't ask me why.. men that i come across are wimps, half formed personalities and a mere shadow of their mothers, and are too weak to handle. now now, don't get me wrong. I'm not against men here, just a few men who just are not able to be what they should be.

i mean when i think of the word man, the words that come to my mind are, strong, someone you can depend on, has a personality, can carry himself well,serious yet witty, sensitive and caring, thoughtful and interesting, is chivalrous and has manners. i have friends, both real and virtual, who embody all this and more. so i refuse to believe that real men doesn't not exist. we all know men are from Mars and women are from Venus, John Gray explains it quite well in his book of the same title. so i believe as a woman it is tough to judge men and vice verse. but then it is important to analyse men specially the one you are dating, because once you do, you know just why things are the way they are in your relationship.

see basically most girls have the same problems, he doesn't give me time etc etc... but then what we don't bother to find out is, most of these problems stem from ill formed personalities and deformed individuality. most men nowadays [my blogger friends excluded because, most of whom i read are prototypes of what i consider real men, at least they possess most attributes] are wimps and such big sissies. i ll state a few incidents, tell me what you think of my take on it..

I mean ya parents come first, i wouldn't hear any less but then if you are in a relationship, one that you have chosen, then why don't you have the balls to stand up to your mom for your girl? i mean yea your mom may have problems of sharing you with another girl, whom she considers a threat, if she cant understand you do, simple. but no, darling son will get manipulated and will never see the bigger picture. so the lesson, if you cant face your mom, then don't be in a relationship.

Everyone nowadays lives to work, or works to live; granted. but then if you cant balance work and your relationship, why get into one anyway? i have this girl friend whose boy friend hasn't met her in the last 4 months just because he is careerist and a workaholic, i mean WTF! good you are workaholic and ambitious but then why are you in a relationship? poor girl waits in hope when someday he will make time to meet her. mind you, they are from the same city. Real men take time out of their busy schedule even for a minute to drop an sms to their girls, but morons just don't bother and have excuses ready for not doing it.Balance is the key word, either prioritize your life or don't get into a relationship for which you don't have an aptitude.

Most men, are charmers, they woo their girl with flamboyance and love. but as years go by the unreal men tell their girls "5 years later what do you expect? the romance and all are a mere figment of imagination!" o really? a real man would make everyday okay not maybe every day, most days, a day filled with love. i mean why do you get into all that trouble of wooing the girl, when you will reduce her to a show piece?

Manners, when we were in school we were taught hordes of them. most men are not taught them but they turn out just fine but some "unreal" men are like pigs let loose on paddy fields. seriously. these men don't open doors for their girls, neither do they pull the chairs for her, they don't have table manners. sheesh! these men will walk right ahead, not caring if their girl is being cowered in a crowd, they wont think twice to walk with her and protect her from being jostled by the crowd. such men are truly disgusting! if you don't know how to behave in social circuits why don't just stay home! losers!!

But having said that i must say, the men i idolize or think are close to what i consider perfect in men, truly exhibit the qualities that most girls look in a man. my question to you is, for both for men and women is, what is your idea of a perfect man? or let me rephrase it. what are the qualities that men should have?

Valentine's day

Valentines day- a day of love and sharing. to some it is just another day and to others, yet another day to officially celebrate love. to each his own and that's the specialty of this day. we choose to celebrate it or just go with the flow. after all India is a democratic country and here we are free to exercise our basic fundamental rights of expression and do as we please.

What is shocking is watching TIMES NOW and see several conservative and orthodox sections of our society, the so called moral police, going on record to say that the if couples are spotted together then they would have to face the brunt of their anger and distaste and all in the name of culture, tradition and so called good taste of chaste Hindu society. In Bhopal, a Temple committee which has women up in arms with the rolling pin [belan] to teach the young love birds a lesson if found together on Valentine's Day. Not just that, a part still calling themselves somewhat liberal have vowed to get a couple married in much pomp and fanfare, if they were spotted romancing or moving around the society together. this is both appalling and rather shocking. In 21st century, where we claim to move forward, where our constitution boasts of LIBERTY, EQUALITY,FREEDOM and FRATERNITY; we have certain sections of our society threatening to take dire consequences against what They consider immoral.

This is utterly disgusting! these so called moral police is rather taking over the life of the youth, setting barriers and formulating codes of conduct. Suddenly i feel the Talibanism has taken over a country that boasts of being Democratic and values Freedom of Expression. the point is not Valentine's Day celebration. the point is if a young adult, or two people in love choose to celebrate togetherness then who are these moral police to prove to be hindrances?? is this the kind of India we envision? is this the kind of India all mothers would want their children to thrive in? i guess not. if you too think that this is wrong? then protest, join the Pink Chaddi campaign or the Pub Bharo andolan. the choice is between freedom of expression and being moral policed into doing something we may not even believe in. make the choice, stand up for what you believe is right.

Kolkata Book Fair

The book fair in Kolkata is quite a rage, it just adds to our cultural and ethnic value. lakhs of students, men, women, intellectuals, laureates, authors and poets turn up to make the whole fair the seat of culture literature and promote reading as an habit, an inherent part of our culture. whats amazing is to have almost all publishing houses, bookstores, authors and poets under one roof, who are easily approachable. imagine painters bringing on their paintings on one ground not large scale thought, but small painters who make their livelihood by the selling of their miniature paintings.. well known singers on one podium with crowds gathering all around them.

Its a maha dating and getting hooked spot of the youth. you should just see the couples queuing
up there and those first glances and all. specially since Bengali's own valentines day aka Sarawati puja just went past, its hot property. many like me just go there to savour the ambience and for the sake of just going and its all in good fun. but with the heavy discounts buy books can never come at a better timings. though Book Fair at Maidan grounds are my all time favourites, but that was stopped due to environmental pollution, now Kolkata Book Fair finds new grounds everywhere but the charm is still there. this is the only such fair to be held on such a massive scale, the place to be if you are a book lover and specially if you are big on culture and tradition.

A long long day

Wow I'm so glad people take me so seriously :) in my last post where i was stomping about angry and hurt, where i had warned my friends not to read ahead if they were going to be bored hearing me rant. :) that's a real nice thing to see. to be honest I'm rather glad most didn't read it because, a day after the incident occurred my anger has gone down nonetheless.. I'm no longer as stomping mad as i was yesterday. i believe every incident has something to teach you, and that eventually everything happens for our own good. however unfortunate the event was, i got to know that i can never be too polite to bear someone humiliating and insulting me. samik too i see has stood up for me and what he felt was right, and for someone who is gandhi ji's ardent pupil, with ahimsa, that's a good start. apparently his folks have realized that what happened shouldn't have happened and are trying to make amends and have termed the whole fiasco as "unfortunate thing to happen" but i need time to heal. so now I'm just not going back and if i ever hear anyone talking marriage to me, i swear i will wring his/ her neck with my bare hands.

I was faced with yet another case of infidelity today. it was shocking to hear my student confess about her father's infidelity to me. what was really alarming was that, her father did it openly without any shame, got the lady over and did things or behaved in a way most inappropriate. and the reason for behaving this way? well her mom had been removed from her school when she was in class 9 and was married off to an old man from a rich household, who had an affair with his sister-in-law, so that had led to her unfortunate marriage falling apart and later she married her father. i was left with no words to comfort her. i don't know what the world is coming to.

On happier thoughts, i spoke to Harshi. and needless to say I'm a lot happier and calm. so no this time i wont thank her. i ll just settle with thanking god for sending me a non Christmas season Santa. Really life becomes a whole lot better if you have some great people around.

our new blog is really gaining great response and its really heartwarming. and the best part of it is, we are not under any pressure to promote or make its presence to be felt, like we had to the last time with the other blog. this time the bloggers are so excited that we have almost 6 posts in 5 days which i think is a super duper start. i just hope things work out and this blog stands the test of time.

if you still haven't seen it yet?and are interested to visit it.. then the link is here -Femme Fatale

And in case you haven't picked your award.. click here... or simply scroll down.there is one for everyone..

Here is what i keep telling myself every time life hurls me with a new challenge.. i don't know if it will work for you, but it sure works for me.

Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense regardless of how it turns out.

Being a girl is like living a life of utter indignity!

Let me warn you that i am angry and extremely pissed and this post is just a remedy to get off that thing that has turned my life living hell. So if you think you will be bored stop reading it, now or come back later when a different post is up. I should probably post this is my all girls blog but then i need to vent and i need to vent it here.
For the first time in life i felt that being a girl can be such a pain in life. Until today I have never faced the brunt of any injustice because i am a girl but what happened today made me feel bad for being a girl. What happened today shouldn't have happened and i don't know just how to get over it and move on. I know tomorrow maybe i will have better sense to look beyond everything, to regain the hope and faith and deal with this situation better but as of now, I'm angry,insulted, pissed, humiliated hurt and extremely disappointed.
A girl no matter how careerist, or homely, always envisions that the day the talks of her marriage will be broached will be a happy affair. it will be a beautiful moment that will be with her for life. I'm not different. but today my happiness turned into insult, humiliation and utter disappointment and hurt. Samik's folks brought up the topic of marriage today. its their tonality and perspective of looking at our marriage that led to this being my worst nightmare. They made me feel I'm an object.. some alu bhindi, with no dreams or desires, that i should get married and why? Because if Samik gets married then he will be settled he will learn to take responsibilities, and if he moves out of town, he will have me to take care of him. i wonder why his parents need a literature graduate servant for their son, to take care of him. i was angry and aghast. all this was coming from people who i believed loved me back, who are so concerned about me and my well being. they know about my future aspirations to study and work and yet they say stuff like this; and what could be worse, they spoke to me in third person, making me feel even worse, like "we were telling samik, get married because you will have someone to take care of you, and you wont be feeling alone or bored. having a wife will make him responsible" and i was dying to yell at them, " and what about me? and my dreams and wishes? am i that trivial?" damn!! i cant belive people in 21st century are like this, specially people who claim to love me treating me like im something that need to be weighed and sold; it hurts like hell. i cant belive that such people exist who they have double standards one reserved for thier daughter and one for their daughter-in-law.

Are we girls born only so that we can be married off?? are we not an individual at all? if any of you guys reading this, then make a mental note now; never let your parents talk you into such atrocious things, never do it to your own daughter and never ever let anyone related to you or not, go through this at all. marraige is a beautiful thing to happen, but it should happen when the time is right and when the two people are ready for it. i hope none of you have to go through what i did.

Btw NO IM NOT GETTING MARRIED!! :x

A Violinist in the Metro

i came across this mail and i knew i had to share it with my friends. i had been wondering since long how insensitive we have all become, we hear something but dont notice it. last night as i was blogging i npticed a wail but in a minute it was forgotten but then as i was about to get to bed late that night i finally couldnt ignore it, it was a baby crying and she had been crying ever since the evening. often we see something but we dont pay attension. we hear something but dont enjoy it. something about it touched me and it is something i wanted to write on but never managed to. but this piece tells it all. read and tell me how you liked it?

From The Effective Club

A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that thousand of people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.

Three minutes went by and a middle aged man noticed there was musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried up to meet his schedule.

A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till and without stopping continued to walk.

A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work.

The one who paid the most attention was a 3 year old boy. His mother tagged him along, hurried but the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on.

In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the best musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written with a violin worth 3.5 million dollars.

Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theater in Boston and the seats average $100.

This is a real story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of an social experiment about perception, taste and priorities of people. The outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour: Do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?

One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be:

If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing?

This happens only in India!!

I was walking by one of the busiest streets of Kolkata.. it was one very foggy and chilly morning. Everyone was hurrying to their offices or schools.Traffic was packed and a police were there trying to ensure the citizens an easy passage. There on one little corner of the busy street was a polio booth, where an elderly lady was accompanied by a younger woman was trying her best to ask women with kids to come and get their kids the drops that are essential for the well being of their children. a young rag picker was called and she haughtily walked by and on being repeatedly called she turned back in anger, walked to the elderly lady abusing her with words that can make your ears burn, and all this because the lady was offering to help her child out that too for free. this wasn't the end. this rag picker couldn't be rationalized how important it is for kinds below three years to take the polio drops, instead she spat on the elderly lady and walked off, as i stood there stunned.

* THIS happens only in India*

Where one can never do good for others, in bargain one will get disdain and disregard. where the lower strata of the society gets so dehumanized that they cannot accept tokens of human affections at its face value, where even the most genuine concerns are frowned upon.

Infidelity

I've never really understood infidelity. being the principalistic kind, it never made sense to me but then i have realized in due course of time, right or wrong for whatever reasons; infidelity is not that rare it happens every now and then, most relations suffer these phases when one of them cheats on the other.

what i want to ask is when a person cheats on his/her spouse doesn't one weigh the consequences? i mean a marriage of many years can break, a relationship can fall apart, if there are kids they get affected and what about the whole world who jeers, laughs and looks on, being specially harsh on the one who was being cheated on?

Suppose the person who had cheated on his/her spouse, is being confronted by the issue? how should that person react, according to you? should the person confess and ask for forgiveness or should the person just avoid the whole issue hoping it will die down?

If your friends are faced with this problem, [where you are the third party and you are indirectly involved in this issue and will suffer the consequences too] You suspect one who is closer to you, is cheating your another friend [his wife] you know the fate of children are at stake, even if they are old enough now they are bound to be affected. and your friends wife is unwilling to forgive and forget and your friend refuses to admit to the whole affair even if there are enough witnesses. the relationship seems to be heading to an end.what do you do? you dint want the relationship to break, nor do you want the kids suffer, you somehow are in a denial of your friends infidelity and neither can you live with the guilt on your conscience that despite he being your friend he was wrong yet he lied to get away with the crime he has committed.

what would you react to this given situation??

*this bears no resemblance to me or anyone related to me.*

this is an idea i got while watching some abstract movie... would really love your feedback's in this given situation...

Rotten Relatives!!

i hate socializing with my relatives. maybe i am a bit allergic to them or plain anti-social. but for me primarily the reason is their haughty nature and the tonality and choice of words. i don't really get into conflicts just avoid them like plague.

damn! this holidays, which i had carefully planned so that i could have "me"-time but instead I'm being forced to acknowledge that i haven't been active in the social circuits and that it is earning me negative marks [as i care!! :P] man! no matter what i do i cant seem to make some other plans and avoid it. I'm being grilled. no wonder i hate such relatives who force people away from them with their atrocious behaviour and then they bitch at their absence and snap when the person is forced to put up an appearance. damn!! damn!!

i don't know whats with these nosy people who are good for nothing and yet claim that they are relatives and demand attention!! really!! why this agitation you ask? well these are those pesky relatives who tell me, when are you going to do us a favour by completing your grads?as if they fund me and are my moral guardians. these people are the ones who tell me that I'm haughty because I'm studying in one of the best colleges in the city and that i choose not to spend time with them.. ludicrous!! i haven't seen people complaining because someone values studying to trivial social gatherings..

really!! :x what really bothers me is, these cousins who are almost 15-20 years my senior never bothered about me when i was younger. in fact they would not include me in any of their meets despite me begging them to allow me, saying I'm too small. and now that I'm all grown up they demand respect and attention! I'm raging here to even imagine tomorrow i have to go out to lunch at these peoples place because a cousin of mine has come down from Alaska for a few days and he will be leaving soon. because college is off now and i have nothing much planned I'm trapped into attending a social do despite not wanting to.. damn my fate!!

guys if you have such relatives..shun them or simple run away!! they are a pain in the A$$!! and do pray for me that i can endure this tyranny tomorrow without being my usual outspoken self and be the perfect darling daughter to my overtly emotional mom, who thinks the world of these trashy relatives!! :P

Ghastly Guests!!

Recently a few guests came over, their attitude really bugged the hell out of me. its funny how we are particular about the things we own, its well being but when it comes to others we care two hoots. who bothers if we are inconveniencing the hosts? as long as we are fine. i mean wtf!

This lady came with her young son who was given something to eat. he was crawling on our carpet and instead of feeding him herself the lady let him spill the contents of the food all over the expensive carpet. and then promptly told my mom, do give the carpet for dry cleaning... the poor baby's nose was running.. so the mother wiped his nose with her hand and then went on to wipe it on the handles of the sofa. imagine!! height of unhygienic behavior.. her 10 year old son was merrily pouncing up and down on our sofa almost ruining it, while his mom did nothing to stop him. i was wanting desperate to tell the lady to sit up and take notice that they are causing harm to our belongings but she was least bothered.

My student had once come to meet me and marched past the sitting room right into my room and sitting down on my bed, she found it soft so decided to pounce up and down. she got hold of cupid [my stuffed doggy] and began to pull its ears and began kissing him. i was seething in anger, from that day onwards i don't permit her to enter my room and don't let get her close to anything i consider personal and extremely precious or private.. i mean really? where are the etiquettes?

Some relatives came over. and they were supposed to dine with us. on being served their piled their plates with food and decided to waste more than half of the contents. i have serious doubts if these people will dare to do the same in their household. will they waste food if they were in their house? then why do these people misbehave in others house?? if you cant eat as much as you have been given then why dont you request to have them removed instead of wasting it.. some people will do anything if the food comes free.. yeww!!

This uncouth behavior really angers me. i don't know why people don't cultivate some manners and etiquettes when it is so essential for once grooming. and why are more so exploitive when it comes to other people when they wont ever do the same if the tables were changed to something that directly linked to them? Sit up people, and grow some manners!!

P.S-2 more days to go.. :)