Rainy Bangalore

I had just got off from work. The clock had just struck 6.35pm. I had missed talking to him because I got late, it didn’t really matter that he had been pretty tied up himself. The air was still, dusk was still yet to fall, and as soon as I stepped on the dusty streets...drop by drop, it all came pouring down suddenly. Within moments I was soaked to my skin… with my dearest possessions: laptop, ipod, cell phone and my watch nicely tucked in my bag pack; I finally allowed myself to let the rains purge my soul. For once it felt so good, I didn’t care about worldly things, gloomy thoughts that had been clouding my mind disappeared into thin air and memories came flooding in… Rains always reminds me of rain kissed Kolkata, the headlights of taxies getting blurred when seen from the rearview windows of cars, jumping over ditches and trudging through knee deep waters with shoes in hand…

Memories of rain kissed Kolkata are really something.. Like waking up to raindrops on my window pane.... tunneling deeper in my blanket and pulling it over my eyes…avoiding… first school and then as years wore on, college… Ma bringing in coffee and settling on my bed for a chat...running to the terrace as the storm threatened to blow the laundry away...Then there was the day when I left home for Bangalore about two years back… it had rained that day too… as if nature was crying with me, dissolving my pain and fears of leaving home for the first time…

I have had the strangest fixation with rains… Rains had always captured my imagination and if you have been reading me for as long as I have been ranting in this space, you will know exactly what I mean…

Rains suit your every mood don’t they? Sometimes when you are upset, let down by the world… you find a companion in the rains…they seem to wash away the pain and fill you with renewed energy…  Sometimes it just purges your soul and makes you feel whole again. That’s exactly what happened with me today. Days of feeling as if pain will tear me apart, as if a part of me has been amputed, numb.. for once the rain filled up a void in me which I have always suspected was within me but never knew existed. So what happened? I tried something which always helped: Retail therapy. O yes! After buying a skirt, a pair of three quarters and a matching tee, a pair of shorts, a wonderful green sweatshirt, a nice cute top and a cute night dress, yesterday, yes you read it right YESTERDAY! I went ahead and got myself some lingerie!! I tell you retail therapy really works!! And at the rate I’m going I’m surely gonna land up as a pauper before my next pay check arrives and that’s just 7 days to go… : ) Jokes apart… sometimes when we smile despite the pain that weighs you down, it feels great… smiling takes effort but when you do… the soul feels liberated..just like the rains that washes the dirt off the leaves, giving them a new lease of life..

Smile and the world smiles with you…  Gnite people… let the night fairy weave beautiful dreams on those lashes… let the fatigue give away to peaceful slumber…

My first Diwali away from home

My roomate Vaidehi and Me

There is always many firsts when you leave home.. these occasions either overwhelm you or leave you having the time of your life. for me it was a little of both. all of you who still read me [thank you! :)] know how paranoid i was leaving home, and everything that i called mine. here away from home i realized how dear everything that i left behind is to me, but more than that i have learnt to make a new place my own.

this is my first diwali away from mom dad and Samik, so in a way it was really painful but did i just sit and sulk? no i learnt to bring a little of everything i so loved into my new life and spread a few smiles. this diwali was unique with it came a realization and it was all a bitter sweet feeling.

Doing Rangoli

my day began getting ready for a cricket match between a mixed team of girls and guys and it was fun to say the least. with Bangalore sun scorching, burning our skin there we were sweating it out.. playing cricket brought back memories of playing cricket in my gully, it used to be so much fun minus the male chauvinism.. :) then i proceeded to learn the art of rangoli when the housekeping didi's drew beautiful rangoli's. so the entire morning went just colouring the beautiful rangoli's with the security bhaiiyas and then the better part of the day before and after lunch was spent decorating the whole hostel. the light man had come and fixed the lights for the evening. raisin was done with the puja house and fixing lights on top of the terrace.amplifires were up so was the sound system, diyas were prepared for the evening and then it was time for a quick bath and getting dressed.


it was an amazing night as i carried the try of diyas placing it at regular intervals just like i used to at home, but there wasn't dad to help me out this time. i couldn't see the lights glittering in the streets below as i looked down from my veranda. i had to blink back tears several times, and ignore the pain of not being with Samik... but i let go.. because i knew this time wouldn't ever come back again.. the people, the smiling faces, those warm wishes and glittering lights.. a life that will now last for only the next 6 months.. until i leave... i lived the life like i wouldn't ever, and i did what i wouldn't be caught doing in public;dancing.. and what a night it was! tears were never away but i wasn't prepared to let it dampen my spirits...

late at night when everyone was in bed, tired and sleepy i stole away to the terrace and looked around.. a year ago this life was unimaginable.. a year later would be surreal too.. i will be working... maybe i will be away from home... now home seems a long long way off.. a temporary respite.. i will bring my home to a place where i will be.. i will build my life again.. and hopefully i will have the house i have always hoped of living in..

hopes and dreams are the comforters of life.. it often makes the journey worthwhile and makes life so much better...

for more pics click HERE

My brand new phone

MY brand new phone Nokia 5130 Express music... yay!

I got my first ever decent phone and you cant imagine my happiness.. all my life i have used a simple colour phone with FM and now i have something that i have always pined for.. i must have had a wonderful sleep for i always held my phone in my hand...the only time i let go was when the alarm went off and a shrill voice yelled wake up :) even that seemed so melodious to me... so yeah I'm on cloud 9 :)

Happy and Smiling again!

I haven't been in too good a mood of late. probably i have pissed off many by not taking calls or replying to the Ims and sms's. i have been unable to blog, there was no interest and no desire to do so. i have missed many post of yours which i should have read and commented, while some of you who have been extremely understanding and kind to me regarding the same, some have come up and demanded why i haven't replied to the comments or visited their blogs. to the latter i just have something to clarify, there are times i read but i am unable to comment, but basically i blog because i want to, and that it is a source of pleasure for me, i don't want to reduce it to a liability, where i feel obligated to comment just because someone has commented, i will do it because i want to not because i have to. so if i haven't been up to your expectation,i am sorry but i am what i am.

Anyway moving on... as of now i am feeling a whole lot better, in kinda good mood you can say. finally right now its raining, i mean the proper hours long rain that washes away the dust and clearing the humidity that made life so impossible for us.this is the first monsoon showers of the season.it pretty late but nonetheless here... so that's surely a breather. but i wanted to enjoy my beloved rains here before moving on. and thank god my wish was granted!did i tell you i absolutely love the rains??!! i simply loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooorve the rains!! :D :)

On other happy events. very recently most of my friends from school met up and we had a whale of a time together, some of whom i was meeting after 5 long years. you can imagine 11 ladies seated at a corner at one of Kolkata's finest restaurants in a well known mall for a buffet; chattering, giggling, clicking pictures away to glory and having a ball. everyone was like super happy and excited to be back and it was one happy reunion! thankfully i met up all these beautiful people before i left or else id be missing on a lot, since i don't think i will be around for the later reunions. what i absolutely loved was the fact, that despite meeting up after 5 years it didn't seem as if we hadst been out of touch at all. and there was never a dull or awkward moment, smiles and giggles ruled the whole outing and it was one happening event to be in.

As the days are rolling by and time to leave comes nearer the fear and apprehension is making me all the more anxious and nervous but I'm trying my best to not make it more difficult for me and take things as they come.. and if you have friends like Nikhil and Anwesa who keep reminding you of the number of days left... god u can imagine... I'm ready to tear my hair out! :) :P Sorry to all you lovely people who has had to read my rants about my insecurities and leaving home blues.. sorry to have bored you to death but i will try and not whine and make it all worthwhile and if indeed i fail to keep my word please be patient as this is one of the most rough and harsh phase of my life... i will bounce back with my chirpy ways...

And o yeah... there is this one deed that makes me a lot happier and relived these days... there has been something that had made me all cold and unapproachable and this was because i have been angry and bitter... but i have learnt to let go and do what i want.. even if it means contradicting myself and at the cost of appearing confused to many... i will maintain what i had realized for myself... that i will preserve my individuality and strength of character no matter what...but at the same time... i will do things which i feel like doing... for i am answerable to no-one but myself. this makes me happy and i am happy to be loved and to love. it makes my plight a lot lesser and my heart a lot lighter... and makes me one happy girl!

Happy Rains to all you lovely people.... and ya in case you are interested in reading the guest post i wrote for NE aka Nehya...and here is one i did for Vinay aka Leo too...just click on the names.. :).. cya around!!

Happy Birthday Roshni

Dear Roshni,

I cant believe it has been 10 years since the day Di first lowered you into my arms. i still remember the day, hardly old enough myself, awkward i struggled to hold you right, with mom dad and everyone else instructing me what to do. i still remember how an operation of Di denied you your mother presence. it was very hard on me but i learnt. i learnt to wake up from the deepest slumber to make you the milk, i learnt to sleep light, i learnt to bathe, feed and put you to sleep and i don't regret any moment.

I may sound all ancient here... but then hell i cant believe how fast you have just grown up. it seems all a miracle to me now..

The past 5 months are my moments of bliss when i got a large chunk of quality time with you. now i cant even imagine going to bed and not hugging you tight, i cant imagine not waking up with you around. 10 years... okay this still hasn't sunk in...

'You mean the world to me.. or you are my world' is hardly enough to sum up the wealth of feelings i harbour for you.. even though i may not have been your mother... but to me you will be my baby always...

Times ahead will be tough sweetheart, maybe i wont be around... but don't mess up life based on emotions..learn to carve a niche for yourself against all odds remember in the end there will always be a reward waiting for you, for the hard work you put in.. remember that you have an aunt who has you on her mind always.. that she will be there for you always....

Here's wishing you a very happy 10Th birthday.. may you grow up to be a fine lady... and make us all very proud of you... dream high and persevere to make them your reality....

With lots of love and luck

*hugs*

Pupu

Next stop Bengaluru:IIJNM has been Rakafied!!

This has to be one of the happiest day of my life. Everyone grows up learning to dream dreams, then as we grow up we realize that making dreams come true is not a mean feat, you face disappointment, hurdles in life; many are not fortunate enough to get their dreams to blossom but i must among the chosen few to see my dreams come true. Ever since i can remember, way back in Class 5, i wrote an essay on'My ambition in life' and my teacher really applauded me for writing a profession that not many knew:journalism. and since then the dream has lived on.. and today is the day when my childhood dream has become my reality

I have got through in IIJNM, Bangalore, in Television Journalism

This morning a parcel arrived, which is like a routine thing these days with so many colleges i had applied to, constantly brochures and admit card keeps pouring in, so i didn't make anything of it when i gently cut the envelope and took the brochure out, i thought it must be the admit card of this college for which i have an exam next week..but voila reading the letter i thought i was reading all wrong...but hey the letter was from IIJNM telling me i got through.. it was one 'Oscar winning moment for me.. i couldn't believe that i had actually gotten through... im still reading and re-reading the letter even now.. and it hasnt sunk in yet that i really have gotten through :)

Last Thursday i got a call from IIJNM stating that i have a telephonic interview the very next day.. my semesters were on and i was under immense pressure with semesters and then entrances.. the Alchemist here was Mayank who really calmed me down and made me go through a mock interview and really helped tons and tons to boost my confidence..the interview went at 11 and then at 3.20 i get a call from them to sit for an entrance test.. i was ready to collapse just when i thought i could relax and study for the next day..i had to write a test, that too out of the blue with no preparation somehow i managed to go to a cyber cafe.. and amidst yells and screams from some fellows who were playing FIFA.. and it was raining cats and dogs and i had a 15 min exams which squeezed every bit out of me...when the ordeal ended i just collapsed ... i don't know how i managed to study for the next day but i know i just did... really it was hectic and now... 7 days to the date... here i am ... all my worries about my future put to rest..and i am at peace...what with no re-applying in JU, many said i was taking a major risk that i may end up doing nothing..but i am glad the gamble paid off.. now maybe its time to change the 'about me' column on my blog.. :)

The people who were really instrumental in my success is first and foremost Harshita.. who never made me loose faith and belief in my abilities ..there was a time i was wondering if i would be able to apply in any of the colleges..but she had faith i would apply and get through...then Shubhankar without whom IIJNM would have been a lost dream...he guided me through all my admission procedures..reminding me of the formalities, telling me what to study and in turn encouraging me to delivering my best, not just that he ensured that that essay i had sent with my application was the best they could find..for that i will be forever grateful to him..Mayank who took time out of his busy schedule and mentored me... his contribution in a way paved way for my achievement today...he had faith on me and made me have faith on myself.. Thank you guys for being my pillar's of support .. for being there when i needed the most... 

the feelings running through my mind at the moment are happiness, relief and immense gratitude.. i am glad i could keep the honour of my words to all those to whom i had emphatically said that 'i would leave' and that ' i would someday show them that i had it in me to prove myself' thank you god for reaffirming to me that i am not ordinary that i can do anything i set my mind to. that i am cut out for a bigger role. thank you for thinking i deserve this opportunity. i am humbled and grateful. i wish now i can hold my head high up and live life on my terms.  be with me and trust me i will never let you down. i know to make my dreams come true i have two beautiful people, ma and baba who are doing their utmost for me, it is a huge risk, let me never ever to let them down, be with me as i set forth to do what i am chosen to do and do them proud. thank you god for thinking me worthy of this oppertunity...i am humbled and grateful to you...

P.S- So sorry for the long long post.. its just that i am happy and relieved...

Graduate... Almost!

Its OVER!! Finally my college life comes to an End!

What struck me while writing the last few lines of my paper was.. soon my exams will come to an end... what hadn't yet registered on my mind was that with the end of my exams.. my college life too came to an end.. not that i am very sentimental about leaving college and friends but still there was a sense of deja vu... and the worst part is i realized it once it was all over...

You it always happens.. in this rat race of life.. where almost every moment symbolizes a struggle to survive, where the fittest survives...we always focus on the goal, like.. the college we want to get in..or the job we want etc but we are surprised when one day reach the goal... maybe that is what has happened to me.. i have been focusing on getting out of college that i forget the moment has come and gone by.. but in a way its good because if i had put too much thought into it maybe i would have been distracted during my exams.. in times of extreme tension when i feel like giving up this particular poem called If  by Rudyard Kipling... gives me immense courage and strength to go on... the lines that i so love are ..

"If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!"

One of the highlights of today was.. that my last day at JU as a student and as well as my last day of college life was spent sitting side by side the one person i began my college life with in the same room it had all begun.. Shubhankar is such a moron i tell you.. he is this weird sort of a guy..despite being my good friend he never feels an urge to sit by me.. if i drag him [which i do most of the time] he does but if he is left to his own devices then he sits where ever or whoever catches his fancy..damn him! and you can imagine my surprise when he came over to me and filled in the vacant seat right next to me.. and gave me a look? as if to say.. "what??! i felt like sitting here don't make it a big deal now!" damn the moron!! and double damn him.. he is partially challenged in  hearing and dint get what i was asking him in the examination hall and when he got what i asked him.. he didn't have a clue... and the super moron gets all senti only after hours of coming back home... and when i was around or rather when i was willing to be around he was busy trying to get me home and get back to doing some work!! pond scum... but having said and done.. Shubhankar has been an absolute gift to me.. someone i always relied on and never got disappointed..whether it is ripping off his notes for me.. or literally dictating me my assignment.. or patiently repeating and re-repeating his explanations .. or being extremely patient with me when i give him the look "i don't know what the hell you are saying..???"..and now that college has come to an end.. I'm really going to miss him telling me everyday "you really are looking hot.." or "three years has gone by and we still havent done it.. lets do it" and id surprise him each time by saying "yea lets... but lets find a vacant room for doing or do you wanna do it here"... i don't know where we will be placed in life.. im sure he will have a bright future... he is bound too..morons have all the luck :)  but no matter what he will surely be the godfather to my kids!! 

The thoughts that are coursing through my mind at the moment is that of relief and a sense of timelessness reigns.. i cant belive that not only my exams, my college life has come to an end.. i feel all grown up as if i have scale mount Everest! God! when I was a little girl, i couldn't imagine studying beyond Class 12 but then when i was in Class 12 i couldn't think beyond graduation here i am at the threshold of Graduation and i desire to further my education.. with my student clearing her  class 10.. i feel its like yesterday i was where she is now but that was something that happened almost 5 years to this day! :O i wonder where did these days go?! Yes yes i am all overwhelmed with this sudden transition but then i love this feeling when despite knowing the truth the truth yet hasn't sunk in!! anyway this is it.. this post is a fitting end to my college life!

  ~The End~

P.S- To see the pictures of the last few days of my college life..check orkut...search me out with Phoenix. ... i will update my photoblog soon and the pictures will be up there too :)

P.P.S- Dont worry about my absense on all your blogs and the missing blog link.. its all taken care of. earlier i couldnt visit blogs as i had not put it up after i changed the template.. i will be back to reading your blogs in no time!! 

Just for laughs!

These are just something i found in my mail... and i wanted to share them... :)

NOW i know why Samik never wins an argument. Its not you.. its got to do with your gender pal!

Watch and learn!!

click to enlarge

The Heat wave has been upped in Kolkata... its 43 degrees... the hottest in almost 59 years... its  even more harsh with the humidity at 90% and the MET doesn't forecast any rains in the near future..damn! i feel like the ice creams i have..who melt even before i open their packs...its atrocious and to add to it the LOO...na silly not bathroom the breeze wala loo...chee chee what not you guys think... :D

The entrance went... so so... i had always prided myself in scoring the highest in English language but boy i had never imagined the entrance language portion could be this tough..not tough but then wasn't a cake walk either... and can you beat it i couldn't remember a few of the very common words like the writing on the tomb that is called epitome... or the fact that walking aimlessly was loitering and i remember all this after the exams!!damn!! if the language portion was like this then i had no idea about the General knowledge segment... I'm really grateful to whoever invented 'inkie pinkie ponkie' it really helped in deciding the multiple choice answers!! now really I'm not joking! and guess what there were maths portion too..and guess what?i didn't freak out! and moreover i got them right!yahoo... can you guess how many GK questions we had??...okay i ll tell you 105 yeah you read it right...i soooooo wish i make it to the next level...please please god let me get through this then i wont ask for anything..ever!! i swear!! 

Yes this is pretty much how I'm feeling at the moment!!

Today i celebrate Liberation Day!!with Samik away on a family wedding, for once i get to spend an entire day being on my own, no dressing up to go out, just being home, in my comfy home clothes [specially with this heat] with just me and the books. hurray!!

P.S: sometime away from the respective other is therapeutic!! yo!

501. R.e.m.i.n.i.s.c.e.n.c.e

They say that you don't make good friends in the virtual world.And we,the current generation is very much ridiculed by our predecessors for the extreme thin line precision at which almost all of our relationships go.I would however differ in this regard.Even though most relationships thrive on a very thin line,unfortunately,some do get above all those notions paving way for ultimate bliss....

And the one I share with the author (Raka/Phoenix) is one such.... :) Ultimate bliss....!!!!!!

I first come across her blog in the last quarter of 2008 and something which attracted me the most right away,was the fact that Raka was supremely modest and frank on all that she had been writing about.And my observation is very well reiterated by the many number of readers who flock around here...That is also because the blog readers have also evolved wonderfully well..Gone are those days,when people used to run behind a touch of flamboyance or gossip or sweet talk.

Plain incidents of one's life serve as a stepping stone in defining most others.

And that has been the most amazing thing behind the woman,herself.And as time went by,I got ever so wonderfully addicted to this space.Reading the Destiny's Child was like reading the newspaper first up in the morning for she was soo very punctual with her posts.The world through her eyes was and still is an extremely wonderful experience.And then came social networking sites to the foray,I found her on one of them and we were friends soon enough.As time went by,so did things fall into place ever-so-wonderfully well.


As things stand today,close to 6 months from our first real conversation on the telephone,I have learned more things from her than I could have ever given her.The humongous multi dimensions of the people inhabiting the earth,the life and times of an Indian girl coupled with the realities that they have to face in life,the flashes of the child in her who wishes to go places fueled by her ambitions,the woman in her who is a great source of emotional life support system to most people around her(including ME),an insight into the life of a perfectionist who has a very good head above her shoulders and whose feet are completely firm on the ground--I could just go on and on and on.The mere fact is,seldom have I been able to see people of the current generation who have had a better outlook on life than raka and in these times,I have never been ashamed to take a leaf out of hers and incorporate them into mine.After all,she is indeed MINE..... :D

And in these times,there sure has been my share of PR disasters(I am GOD) but unlike the previous times where in,I thought it transpired thanks to me,Raka has made me realise that it ain't really so and put a whole new dimension into my thought process..I don't really think about them now anymore,for I have her...forever...and ever....and ever.... :)



And now when I come across myself as one of those very lucky few who have been fortunate enough to adorn this space,I thank her for all the wonderful moments that have transpired in between the two of us in this short span of time,for putting up with me,the number of times I have put her in utter disarray through my umpteen SMS's (yeah,messaging is free for me..Want a bite??get in touch.. :p ) and missed calls and also those phone calls sometimes- just hoping that these times do last forever.....

Love you ever so much.....*Hugs*
yours Multi(Nikhil)Menon

Yeah,I am praying for your admission at MASCOM more than anyone else and you know why...!! :D

499. To Raka, with love

When Raka asked me to write her 499th post, honestly I felt honored.

I have known you for not a very long time, but this little time has been worth that I feel proud to call you my friend.
I still remember the first post I read on your blog. It talked of your dream home. A Minimally finished Apartment on the top floor of a skyscraper from where you could see the lights of the city. I liked the idea and instantly followed your blog.

I used to read the blog religiously. And as you narrated, I found out you were younger than I am, but your views, thoughts, ideologies and most importantly as I always say the frequency, were quiet near mine.

Gradually, we were on each others friend lists on gtalk and since then there is no looking back.
I see in you a strong character, a determined soul and an emotional heart.

Do you remember the first time we caught each other online?
I cant recall whether it was 2 am or 3 till we chatted and chatted. I mean amazement was when you are talking to a person for the first time, you don't tell her almost all your darkest secrets and you don't share with her your deepest feelings.

I never knew I could be so very good friends with someone in the very first instance.

I spent great time with you girl, those philosophical discussions, those naughty rap sessions, those useless conferences, those silly talks, those mood lifting parleys, the total girl stuff, everything.


And when you asked me for a girl-blog, I took not a nanosecond to say "I am in" and we landed on up to this Femme Fatale Idea. Since then, whatever you call it, vicious circle, loop or cycle, this relationship of ours is such.

I love the way you say " I am just a phone call away" and "I am there for you na"..

The geographical distance doesn't make much sense to us. But I'll soon come down to see you for sure and remember your promise to visit me after your exmas.

I know I may be sounding like Im writing a testi for my guy, but you are equally loved.. ;)
I really wish to God to bless you with his choicest blessings for you are worth it..

Love always....

Happy New Year!

Since its Bengali new year tomorrow,
Here's wishing you all
A very happy and prosperous new year!

Subho Nobobarsho!!

Raindrops and Roses..

It rained last night, almost. the short spell of shower induced the wet-earth spell that i so love and i was lost. this has to be the first of the rain influenced posts that are due this rainy season, friends who read me for a long time now will definitely agree :) i have this strange thing with rain. it makes me happy and sad at the same time. in kolkata, yes that's where i stay, rain is associated with water logging and a bad case at that, not as bad as Mumbai though but pretty bad, i mean we are still known for it. anyway who cares at least we get a few unapproved leaves right?


Waking up to rainy days ranks among the first of the things i absolutely love. the cold cold feeling, snuggling deeper into the sheets, the pitter patter raindrops on the glass pane, is simply heavenly. days like this, i simply wear an old sweatshirt and worn out jeans and socks, pull my legs beneath me and simply blog or read a good book while dad brings in some great coffee!! sigh!! I'm already back in time it seems, even though rain has long since stopped...


Rainy days like these are a big with Samik and me. i remember once it had rained cats and dogs, and it was the last day of Samik's before he joined office. and we just had to spend that day together, yet the transport situation was real bad. but somehow Samik waded through knee deep water till my place, where i was waiting with rolled up jeans, flip flips, umbrella in hand trying to almost wade through all that water just to meet him. that day we walked almost two kilometers to Barista for coffee and it was heavenly. With freshly brewed coffee sat there, with muffins and pastries as we chatted to our hearts content, watching the city in inaction. it was in a way surreal..


Some day those were..once.. this was really early into our courtship maybe just months into our relationship.. in those days, back when i was in school... Samik would persuade me for a week and half and then id relent to meet him. so our meetings would be few and far in between. once dad went to Hyderabad for the Asian Games and i pataoed mom to the hilt and asked her for those 5 days as a gift, and those 5 days were ours and just for ours to live. we met in rain and in sun and literally so. it was hot and sultry the first 2 days and then it poured and how. dad once called me and i was nowhere near home he tells me "i just saw the tv. they are saying Kolkata is under water due to heavy rains. where are you?" and I'm like "baba im with friends in our locality it is hardly that bad!" when i was actually miles away from home and still in a much water logged area!! but it was all good fun!! :) really its getting me nostalgic here... so what happened?? well those initial months became years... and now 5 years into the relationship.. Samik is working and i'm on my way out of college.. finally life caught up on us..now its more like.."yes it happened.. once upon a time...."sigh! :)

Yams thinks i'm cute! :)

Yams aka Yamini has tagged me, and i have gratefully accepted it. this is the cute blogger award that she has given me too. thanks Yams.. you're a sweetheart!

Rules~i need to write 10 cute things about me... :)

1. I am ME, and im not about to change for anything in the world that makes me cute.
2. I'm a patient and dedicated a masi to my niece Roshni.
3. i'm hardworking person.
4. i put others before me, always.
5. im a mature and responsible adult.
6. i have a whacky sense of humor.
7. i'm told [by Samik] when i get angry i sound cute. lol!
8. no matter what happens, even the most serious of problems, i always hide my anguish and sorrows beneath my smile, trying to overcome the worse.
9. no matter what, i never do give up on hope.
10. when im angry,excited,blushing or plain nervous; my face and ears get all heated and red. :)

Now, i tag Anwesa,Dhanya,Pink Orchid,Americanising Desi,The rat, Richa and Harshita.

5 reasons why i'm proud being a woman!

There are times in the month or moments in life i just hate being a woman. those days of pain and discomfort, the PMS, those leches stares, the feeling of insignificance when I'm made to feel like a sexual object and i could go on. but on a day when we celebrate woman empowerment, here are the five reasons why I'm proud to be a woman.

• Strength- those who disrespect woman for being weak don't what exactly they are talking about. physically we may not be able to match up with the men but we do where it matters the most; the mind and body. we have the will power to survive against all odds, we alone are able to bring forth our flesh and blood and give the little one a life. we bear whatever comes our way, to ensure our loved ones are not in the way of harm. a mother who looses a baby makes the attempt to live for the one who survives.
  

• Unselfish and Generous- a woman always thinks of others before herself. despite being hungry herself she will feed the others who may have even subjected her to various anomalies. she doesn't think twice to put others before herself. and the beautiful life she builds around her is based on her muted sacrifices and the numerous compromises she makes.

• Docile and Brave- she may appear docile but when there is a threat to herself or her loved ones, she protests and hits back courageously.

• Homebody and a career woman- today's women are career oriented but she doesn't neglect her duties towards her family. she is a good daughter, sister, mother and wife and manages her various roles in her family and career front with elan.

• Giver- she toils hard to sustain the foetus growing in her with utmost love and care, goes through the agony of having her life ripped apart to give birth to her baby and yet smiles in encouragement in the prospect of doing it all over again just to see the smiling face of her child.

All this and much more makes women all the more special. and makes me a proud that im woman. wishing all you great ladies out there a very Happy Woman's Day!

Yay-ness!!

Yup we have made an almost clean sweep at the Oscars. AR Rehman and Gulzar has done us all proud by winning the Oscar. it truly is a proud moment for all of us. CONGRATULATIONS!!

I had watched Slumdog a month or so back. yeah it was good. the photography was amazing. however i wasn't as impressed as the rest. i don't abide by the grotesque and almost raw portrayal of a few things that the director tries to sell in the name of reality cinema. the harsher lines could have been given a softer tough but then to each his own. having said all this, it is evident i don't know why there is such a hyper over Slumdog because it is a well made film but nothing to go ga ga over it according to me. here are a few things i think, its okay if you disagree

1.AR Rehman deserves an Oscar.period. but he had given far greater melodies before, in films like Roja which won him a National Award, Taal, Guru etc all has been masterpiece. is it then because Slumdog is a British production that finally Rehman's talents are been recognized at a world platform?

2.We greedy Indians are hungry for an Oscar even if it comes at our expense. i do champion for realism in movies, but by selling our poverty, making million bucks of it and presenting a picture of all the notorious things India stands for as a global image is hardly what i call an Oscar winning theme. films like TZP, Lagaan, even Swades had potential, and were treated as a mere poor cousin in the Oscar nominees.

3. Gulzar is one of the greatest lyricist in India. but do we need a Jai Ho, to prove his greatness? i think the song came as a bolt out of the blue and a tad bit out of the context and frankly it ruined the kind of high tension crescendo the movie was building up, all for giving the song and dance Bollywood flavour to the movie.

I am an non-entity. However these are the few points i feel we must notie before blindly celebrating just because a Western honour has been heaped on us riding high on British shoulders.

P.S- what shocked me was AR Rehman didn't confirm with Sukhwinder Singh, the singer of Jai Ho about his performance at the Oscars as he was left floundering for confirmation, only to realize that Mr Rehman wasn't actually taking him along.

Yay-ness!!! On top of the world

S- "Hello? do you have plans to come to college today?

R- "No. told you na... I'm taking the day off"

S-"You might want to make the trip. the results will be out today.our HOD has gone to the main building; she will turn up anytime now!"

Silence.....

S- " You there??"

R- "Yes" feebly... "but I'm not turning up, i think i will just pass out. you check my marks and let me know please. i don't think i can make sense of anything. just let me know OK?"

S- "R? you ll do just fine. just calm down. will call you back."

tick tock tick tock..... 10..15...20...25..30..35...40...45....

tringggggggggg!! grasp,stumble clumsy lunge for the phone

R-" Yea hello? tell me i have passed.. o god let me pass... last year i cant afford a suppli...please tell me it went well..."

S-" R... R.... [a sterner] R are you listening???!!! 137.... yeah you heard it right 137.. on 200.. and that's a 68.5% you did well... c'mon relax.. yes yes its your marks... others well...128..130....132...135 yes i got a 135...are you listening??!!!!!!

R-[SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!] YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!

P.S- in case you didn't guess.. R = me = Raka =Phoenix :D!! yes my results are out and i did pretty well.. and my fav prof said he is proud of me and my achievements!! yippee!!

P.P.S- yea i was on a break, and it was a wildly tempting thing to do. i was dying to come back and i thought I'd love to be back with a happy post sharing my happiness with everyone!! :D sorry to disappoint those you wasn't expecting me back anytime soon....

Happy Birthdays!!

January is my bankruptcy season. with so many birthdays and anniversaries that i don't need to wait for the end of the month to be without money, it happens from the first itself.

Well today is Dad and Sir's [you know who? yeah my favorite prof's] birthday and of course Hrithik Roshan's birthday too...

here's wishing you a very happy wala budday.. may you have a rocking birthday and have a fulfilling year ahead!!

that's HIM.. its SIR :D

We had a surprise birthday party at sir's place today.where we had a gala time.the food and snacks was amazing!sir took special time out to just to talk to Samik, so that he didn't feel left out, as he was the only one not from our college or department. i was touched to say the least. moreover other members of the faculty were there too and mam [sir's wife] and sir went out of their way to make samik comfortable and introduced him to other members of my faculty as their friends and we had a great adda session, :D i was feeling a whole lot special not only because it was my favourite prof's birthday but to our batch he is more of a friend than anything else. the kind of relationship we share is really amazing, and for them to accept samik as my extension of me, is really a big deal for me, as I'm really a very shy person when it comes to being public with my relationship with my seniors from college or my elders. Truly Sir rocks and mam is damn nice too..

mom and dad

Here is a very special birthday wish to Mom, who has her birthday tomorrow.

i know i have been less than perfect of a daughter. i know i dont have a great friendship with you. i know i end up making you cry. i know i have the worst of arguments with you and that we are like chalk and cheese. but ma, i hope you know and feel that i do love you in my own crazy way. i may never tell this to you and will never make you realize it, but i do. you will always be the one i end up spilling the beans, you will always be the one i will turn to for help and comfort. no matter just what i say or do i will always hold you dear to me.. love you loads... wishing you a very Happy Birthday!!

Happy Birthday Harshita!!

A very special person was born on this day. She is magnetic, charming, and friendly and happiness personified. She breezes through filling colors to your life, lifts your spirit and leaves you with a smile. She is a hardcore optimistic and her optimism so extreme and contagious that you are compelled to follow. She is the epitome of all things happy and cheerful. With her trademark “AHO!!” “koi gal nahi” she is the one person I look forward to talk to, at least once a day. She is the one person for whom I’m online despite being extremely sleepy or held up. She is the one person who inspires me to take everything in my stride, she has taught me that there are two ways to deal with a problem; one- you can sit and lament and ponder and feel unhappy, or you can sit up and try and be cheerful and stare the problem down. And I’m proud of you Harshita. Thank you for being there, every time I needed you. And more than which, thank you for being my friend.

A friend in need

And an angel indeed

Sunshine and morning dew

She is one of the genuine few

She is all things Happy, cheerful and gay

She will inspire you with her positive ways

Naughty and whacky and full of smiles

She is tireless like the limitless skies

Gentle, sensitive and kind

She is the ultimate friend you will ever find

Here’s wishing you a very happy birthday HARSHITA!!
May all the happiness belong to you!
May your day be filled happiness and good cheer!!
Have a fulfilling birthday!!

You mean the world to me, thank you for being my friend.
Hugs and lots of love

- Phoenix.

A BIG thank you to Hemz who photoshop-ed these pictures for me and thus helping me make this day a special one for one of my dear friends.

Victory!! As relief floods in...

YAY!! the ordeal is over... even though there are casualties.... loss of life ...destruction... but most of the hostages has been rescued...terrorists killed Taj could have been blown up.. a 106 year old heritage building.. but for th brave hearts who has ensured that they will be there every time there is a crisis.. they don't care for their lives.. their loved ones... but for their country.. who smile and shrug nonchalantly saying.. it wasn't a big deal , it was their job to help the country...

Kudos to the Army, NSG and the other forces at work which after 62 hours brought the nightmare to a fitful end... Major Unnikrishnan finds a special mention as the brave heart who fell to his fate serving his nation *salute*

Today Indians can rest but tomorrow will be the time.. to book those for whom we suffered such a nightmare.. the politicians have a lot to answer for...

Roshni: My Niece

My first memory of my niece is stepping into the room where my sister was dressing this tiny tot. i was too shocked to react, to see my sister with a baby was something that hadn't yet registered. mother and my sister?! no way! a gurgle drew my attention to this tiniest of being on earth. hesitantly i inched closer until my sister just flopped her over into my arms. nervous and scared that i may drop her. i clung to her for my life. that day despite being nothing more than 12-13 myself i knew what it is to hold someone close to ones heart. she won me over with her cu tests of smiles and those eyes that just stared at me laughingly. that very day i gave up my savings of rs 50 to buy her a 'hit me" toy which was way taller than her and would topple her, but the way she would hug it would melt my soul.

R O S H N I was just 9 months, my sister was admitted in the hospital with a bad case of appendicitis and i was entrusted with her care.barely old enough to know my way. i did what a mother should do. put her to sleep after walking and singing to her.changed her at regular intervals, cleaning her and feeding her. she wouldnt ever go to my mother, and clung to me 24*7. nights i would be awake trying to play with her and feed her and putting her to sleep.studies was the last thing i was able to do, because while she was asleep i would be trying to rest too. she was the world to me, and i did what i did only because i knew i had all the happiness in form of the baby in my arms.


Roshni is now all of 9. tall and lanky. she wears all my clothes with elaan.and she is more a friend than niece to me. she introduces me as a "friend" and not "masi" to her classmates and proudly flaunts me. it is always me who has to get her smallest whim and fantasy fulfilled. just like she knows she is pampered she is quite scared of me as well. she is the only one i allow to handle by precious cam. we get into some bad fights as well but they don't last long because chocolates and teddies do manage to bribe her and in no time is back to her usual chirpy self. it was worth all the pain and the neat pile i spent behind getting her the bacugan toy she so wanted. last time we were in the mall i hadn't been able to get her the toy coz i wasn't carrying my card with me.. but this time i got it and my my the look on her face was well worth it.

She just makes me such happy person. she makes me wanna put all the happiness of the world at her beckoning. because she is and will always be, my darling. and love is hardly the emotion that can summarize just how precious she is to me.she is and will always be my baby.

PS-D0 drop in a comment in the post below..