Graduate... Almost!

Its OVER!! Finally my college life comes to an End!

What struck me while writing the last few lines of my paper was.. soon my exams will come to an end... what hadn't yet registered on my mind was that with the end of my exams.. my college life too came to an end.. not that i am very sentimental about leaving college and friends but still there was a sense of deja vu... and the worst part is i realized it once it was all over...

You it always happens.. in this rat race of life.. where almost every moment symbolizes a struggle to survive, where the fittest survives...we always focus on the goal, like.. the college we want to get in..or the job we want etc but we are surprised when one day reach the goal... maybe that is what has happened to me.. i have been focusing on getting out of college that i forget the moment has come and gone by.. but in a way its good because if i had put too much thought into it maybe i would have been distracted during my exams.. in times of extreme tension when i feel like giving up this particular poem called If  by Rudyard Kipling... gives me immense courage and strength to go on... the lines that i so love are ..

"If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!"

One of the highlights of today was.. that my last day at JU as a student and as well as my last day of college life was spent sitting side by side the one person i began my college life with in the same room it had all begun.. Shubhankar is such a moron i tell you.. he is this weird sort of a guy..despite being my good friend he never feels an urge to sit by me.. if i drag him [which i do most of the time] he does but if he is left to his own devices then he sits where ever or whoever catches his fancy..damn him! and you can imagine my surprise when he came over to me and filled in the vacant seat right next to me.. and gave me a look? as if to say.. "what??! i felt like sitting here don't make it a big deal now!" damn the moron!! and double damn him.. he is partially challenged in  hearing and dint get what i was asking him in the examination hall and when he got what i asked him.. he didn't have a clue... and the super moron gets all senti only after hours of coming back home... and when i was around or rather when i was willing to be around he was busy trying to get me home and get back to doing some work!! pond scum... but having said and done.. Shubhankar has been an absolute gift to me.. someone i always relied on and never got disappointed..whether it is ripping off his notes for me.. or literally dictating me my assignment.. or patiently repeating and re-repeating his explanations .. or being extremely patient with me when i give him the look "i don't know what the hell you are saying..???"..and now that college has come to an end.. I'm really going to miss him telling me everyday "you really are looking hot.." or "three years has gone by and we still havent done it.. lets do it" and id surprise him each time by saying "yea lets... but lets find a vacant room for doing or do you wanna do it here"... i don't know where we will be placed in life.. im sure he will have a bright future... he is bound too..morons have all the luck :)  but no matter what he will surely be the godfather to my kids!! 

The thoughts that are coursing through my mind at the moment is that of relief and a sense of timelessness reigns.. i cant belive that not only my exams, my college life has come to an end.. i feel all grown up as if i have scale mount Everest! God! when I was a little girl, i couldn't imagine studying beyond Class 12 but then when i was in Class 12 i couldn't think beyond graduation here i am at the threshold of Graduation and i desire to further my education.. with my student clearing her  class 10.. i feel its like yesterday i was where she is now but that was something that happened almost 5 years to this day! :O i wonder where did these days go?! Yes yes i am all overwhelmed with this sudden transition but then i love this feeling when despite knowing the truth the truth yet hasn't sunk in!! anyway this is it.. this post is a fitting end to my college life!

  ~The End~

P.S- To see the pictures of the last few days of my college life..check orkut...search me out with Phoenix. ... i will update my photoblog soon and the pictures will be up there too :)

P.P.S- Dont worry about my absense on all your blogs and the missing blog link.. its all taken care of. earlier i couldnt visit blogs as i had not put it up after i changed the template.. i will be back to reading your blogs in no time!! 

End Of An Era

In our first year @CCD

So finally college ended and relief washed over. the farewell was indeed good and honestly it touched all of us. what was more touching is that, this is the first time our department hosted the farewell and probably the best part was, a lively and great batch like UG1 put up a superb, well organized farewell, with the right amount of fun and emotions. what is noteworthy is, farewells are usually organized by the second senior most batch, that is the UG2's but honestly we would rather, the UG1's did it for they did a mighty good job and the effort really touched us. what i absolutely loved was the fact, that usually the Pg2's are given a lot of importance as their whole class is leaving college and the UG3's are left out of it presuming that they will continue with the masters here; and the outgoing students are left out [likes of me] But this time UG3's were really included or to put it mildly it was 'our 'show.

As the magic fades... after the trip to Vizaq

one of the main high points was of course the slide shows that they put up. they were amazing, and the effort that these people put in was really commendable. cheers and hoots reigned during the slide show each of us were really touched and a little teary eyed too. i was there with Shubhankar sitting on a stair, wearing a saree that got me drenched in sweat, with the heat upped by just 2 AC's and soo many people; we sat squashed due to lack of space, silently talking while the show was on, and we were really counting our last 'official' moments together. the feelings that coursed through were diverse, a little nostalgic, a lot hopeful, and apprehension about my future. the tears did come. a lone tear trickled down as one of my favourite teachers, SC mam spoke about her experiences about all of us and it was one very emotional moment. talking to teachers, summing up our experiences with them, amidst proclamations by the rest, that will stay back to bug them some more, was one helluva tough time, i almost choked when i informed some of my teachers of my decision of not going back. but all in all i just couldn't wait to walk away from the crowd of known faces and to forget they ever existed. all in all i must say, that this farewell even though was an awesome experience its intensity lacked the ones i went through when i was in my 10th standard.

Then UG2, on our way back to Vizaq from Arraku Valley

Now i feel a whole lot responsible about my life and the choices I'm about to make. and even though its a lot scary something in me tells me 'I'm ready!' my study leave has started and I'm like really busy with dispatching the last of the admission forms, making drafts etc, now all i need is to concentrate on my studies; to devote time between studying for my semesters and also for my entrance exams. yeah it will be tough i know but I'm prepared to struggle to get to my goals, for i know achieving my dreams with be worth all this toil and hardship. and that does not mean that I'm not going to blog mind you.. :)

come on now wish me luck!!

P.S- the pics haven't been transferred from the cam yet, some problem with that. but then i will put it up soon. sorry for the delay. for now these are some of my great memories of JU.

P.P.S- no more posts on college. promise!! :) even i have had enough.. im too giddy by now.. :)

Beginning to an End

i was so looking forward to the college to end.but what i had not anticipated even in my wildest dreams that college coming to an end, would mean not seeing you in college everyday.

those conversations through scribbling on chits,
those moments of absolute bliss,
the study sessions,
the urgent phone calls,
and midnight texts
the jittery nerves.
the silent gazes and hasty hugs.
the scribbles and doodles,
the fake tattoos and autographs
the canteen talk or bitching sessions.
the reminiscence of happier times,
the tears of anguish and distress
the smiles and promises of a better tomorrow.
will be missed.

love is hardly the word, that can express just what i feel for you, thank you for being my friend.

its my last day at college tomorrow, Wednesday is our farewell. the day i have been waiting for is here. from here, it will be an onward journey and i will make good things happen.

My College Days 2

I was a prefect in my school for four consecutive years. i was the vice house captain in class 9 and then the house captain in class 10 [yellow house or Vivekananda house] all through voting. in class 11 and 12 i became the prefect, to put it modestly i was popular amongst my peers as well as juniors. event organizing or house meetings, thinking strategies or practicing for house matches i was there everywhere. maybe that's why college seemed to me as a huge leap, a step into the big bad world.

when i first started looking forward to college i always knew i would get into St Xavier's. after all it was our brother school, i had the qualification and the state level rower tag and several other activities under my belt; why on earth would i be rejected? i was confident and hopeful. but my hopes was dashed into a million pieces when i saw i wasn't featured anywhere on the list and the Principal of the college flung my extra curricular activities [some 40 odd certificates in different field] claiming them to be utter rubbish and asked me to furnish certificates of things i did in the last two years of my life. that was the most discouraging moment of my life, i have never felt disillusioned, broken and completely defeated before like this before. my confidence was shattered. it took a while for me to recover and it wasn't until i got through to JU.

My father is an ex student of JU, and i have grown up with the stories of JU but strangely i never developed a keen interest to join my dad's college to maintain the legacy. in fact JU was one of my last options despite it being the best in Kolkata. the day i went to pick up the forms for JU, i fell in love with the lush gardens, friendly seniors, open spaces and the huge campus. it was then i realized my calling. Yes, mass communication may have been a dream but studying literature has been a passion i had nurtured ever since i could remember. i finally found hope in the darkest hour of my life, and from the shattered dream was born a new me.

the reason why JU is simply the best is because you have the freedom to be just you. whether straight, gay or bisexual people confidently flaunt their sexuality, keeping aside gender bias girls and guys are treated equally not just by the management but also by students, gender bias has not really come to my notice, girls and guys smoke alike without the glares of moral police. to be honest i got lost in the vast campus and the vibrant people. from the popular girl in school i became the shy, and unknown girl, it was scary so i choose to look for dark corners to hide now and then. it took awhile to open up but somehow i could never establish the familiarity with the campus that i could once associate with my school. and to add to my woes, i joined Ju with the committed tag.. and that cost me some very potential boy friends who now remain but as friends!!can you beat that? lol! :P

my favorite hangouts in campus were varied, specially in different phases in college. in the first semester when Shubhankar and i were inseparable, we and some other friends including Rohit would hang out in what is known as the jheel par [a small lake] then Shubhankar and i fell apart, i had a new set of friends and we used to hang out in the BBC[ the basket ball court] after classes and just lie there for hours altogether. during daytime we would hang out in a place called gol [a round bench around a tree] the ledge has of course been a favorite throughout for all batches, Shubhankar and i would often sit on the ledge studying and exchanging notes, it was also a witness to the numerous fights we used to have :). later when i became much more studious and serious my hideout used to be the DL[departmental library] in the comforts of the AC and away from prying eyes there i would spend my afternoons.we have around 6-7 canteens in our college, and i have frequented almost all of them except the E-faculty ones [engineering people frequent there] because they are rowdy and rather intimidating and they ogle you like anything.. after all to them people from the arts faculty are big shot hots and prized possessions, specially since they seem to have droughts of female population :P lol! Milon da's canteen remains the most popular of all canteens however no one can equal the coffee found in the AC canteen!!phew!! after Shubhankar and i patched up, the back lanes of JU became our utopia, away from prying eyes and gossip mongers there we rebuilt our friendship.

sigh! i don't know about the people but i will surely miss the campus and the ambiance of JU. there is an old Bengal feel to it. i got in touch with my roots, this is the first time i started talking fluently in my mother tongue, my convent upbringing really handicapped in speaking Bengali. Ju for the first time gave me Bengali friends and through them i savoured Bangaliana. Ju is the one place where you are you, and you are not really judged by the background you come from, or the clothes you wear or the people you move around with. the motto of campus life in JU is live and let live and if you have attitude flaunt it. its been an enriching experience here, a place which will always be remembered as a benchmark in my life, where i actually outgrew the protected life i lived during my school life and entered the adult world with its responsibilities and its spiteful and vicious claws. as i step over the threshold i carry but the good memories as unhappy ones and the distasteful ones are left behind buried in what will soon be my past.

i cant believe i have grown up enough to finish college. i still consider myself a school kid.
you know what? when i was in class 3 once while doing maths i thought id just study till class 12 because i was finding doing maths tough. in class 12 i knew id just finish graduation and further studies wouldn't even be an option, and here i am almost a graduate and i crave to study more.. :) weird na??

2 more working days to go! woohooo!!! :)

My College Days

SHUBHANKAR and me :)

Yesterday was my last class test in JU. yes formally the countdown to the end has begun. i wish i could feel nostalgic and a little weepy but i am not :D!!. the happy go lucky blokes in our class are a lot more emotional but they are staying back for PG anyway. yes i am taking a massive risk in life, i will not take readmission in my college for PG which is a sure shot opportunity. that means if i don't get admission in any of the 5 colleges I'm applying outside Kolkata, either i have to work or waste a year and then maybe re-apply for PG in my department. and trust me instead of feeling the burden.. okay i do feel it but a teeny tiny bit ...but im sure that i will never repent the decision i'm taking now and i will stand by it no matter what and take what comes my way cheerfully. it makes me feel a lot lighter for knowing for sure i wont have to come back to this shit hole again. and the relief is beyond what i can hardly explain.

that's my friend IPSY and me :)

i know most of you are aghast and surprised at me taking about college in such drastic terms, but i have no ill feelings towards college, i have a grudge against the people i have encountered and the unjustly i have been treated here. more on that but later, this post is not for unhappy thoughts! :)

that's ROHIT and me :)

you know why i feel so happy and relaxed about leaving college without the tell-a-tale signs of tears and nostalgia? maybe its got to do with the fact that my good friends, handful in number are the ones who have stuck by me in this rocky journey of life and the relationship i have established with them transcend the college boundaries. i don't need college boundaries to unite me with my friends and this makes each and everyone whom i consider friends stand out among the others.

TISTA and me :)

if i really miss something about college life will be these friends, who in my hour of need have stood by me and became my pillar of strength. Ipsy has been a moral support guiding me through some of the darkest hours of my life, when i all but gave in to despair, she made me a more confident person and gave me the strength that i could conquer anything if i set my mind to it. Shubhankar has been there through thick and thin, he is the one person i actually depend upon, be it while submitting assignments or filling up admission forms, or calming my nerves before exams, he truly has been the ultimate friend, my mirror image; someone i connect to even without talking. Rohit is one friend who has been there for me, right from the first day of college till the end, we have gossip sessions as well as those dreamy conversations about life and people, we hardly meet but when we do we have the greatest conversations ever, no ego pride or negativity has marred our friendship and he is the one friend i have managed to keep secure from oblivion's curse, he is a treasure to me. Tista is a lot crazy, hyper, Queen bee of college, she is everything i am not; feminine, fashionable and forthcoming. yet we clicked we have been friend from the last 6-10 months yet we have connected well. its with her i share my girlie side, she is my ultimate guru when it comes to beauty and fashion tips. and with our boy friends in tow we have some awesome double dates.

i don't know what my future is, where ever i am. no matter what happens. these are really the cherished few whom I'm going to remember with love and make an attempt to always keep in touch. it is the ultimate bliss when the person for whom you care reciprocates your feelings and appreciates you for who you are... college is coming to and end but not the friendship that transcends the plane on which it first blossomed!

god! please make sure this is actually an end and i don't have to go back to JU again!! please be by my side and make this ending a permanent one so that i can move on ahead making the most of life and the opportunities that beacon me.

yay!! just 3 more days to go!

i intend to write a post on each of the last four remaining days of my college, to remember and share the time i spent here, so that someday when i come back and read this, i may be able to cherish these last moments with love and fondness.

JU Memories

The year is coming to an end. With it so many plans and dreams and i'm inching closer to leaving
home. college too is almost over. what with the exams ending the 5th semester, a new semester will dawn only briefly, to end. college life in Jadavpur University [JU, where i study] too will see and end, and an era too will end.

our building as viewed from the parking lot.




Jheel in our college and the hanging bridge

I have grown up hearing stories about JU and its various places and things available from dad [my dad was a pass out too of my college] but i never really loved it for what the college stood for. in fact i never even considered applying for the college let alone wanting to be or not to be, in it. Not getting through Xaviers was a huge blow to my dreams and to my ego too, despite my grades and my extra- curricular activities. then dad entreated me to go with him to fill the forms in JU, reluctantly i followed him. and the first look of the campus i fell in love with it. the natural beauty, the greenery, water bodies, the ambiance and the vastness; to say the least. i couldn't believe my luck that i got through in JU when dad called home and announced! what joy it was!! and what irony!

My class-after vizaq trip

My college life until now has been a period,when i grew up from the naive lil girl freshly out of school. life to me, was almost an empty canvas with its bright patches, hint of dark impending ones and those not so happy grey ones too. first semester will always be the sweetest memory of the lot. i made friends and quite a few good ones, emotions ran very high and high voltage drama winded it up, with me loosing out on a very close friend. second semester, ensured a whole lot of healing and forgetting, with new set of friends, adda sessions and lazing around, life was almost bliss;until i realized how futile and fake it all was. then came a semester of bitter truth,revelation,hurt,pain and disillusionment and complete retreating into my shell. from there rose a new me, battered bruised but one who could rise from her ashes true to her name. things from then on was a lot more dull and shabby until the trip happened February this year. i got back my friend whom i had lost. and life fell back into place. sigh!

friends- during one of our hangout sessions in CCD

Just a few more months and the ordeal will be over for good. i know im looking forward to the ending of my days at JU but there is an inherent sense of loss for the campus that has witness all things good and bad. it feels bad to even think that i wont have the same profs anymore. there wont be the trips to the departmental library, or the chats on the ledge, not those brief yet jovial conversations with our profs; classmates wont be missed much except maybe one or two but the rest will be,in its entirety. my years in college taught me the essential lessons that one needs to learn in this struggle for survival.maybe they were tad bit harsh, maybe a part of me has died, but the lesson is well learnt.

memories of unwanted faces will be forgotten with vengeance.
links to them will be de-linked
but those, that stood above the rest
will remain forever cherished
engraved in my mind and heart
as the happier times spent.
JU will remain a symbol
of all that i learnt and all that i earned,
and all things happy
and nothing more.

Freshers Welcome

Our department is organizing the "freshers welcome" for the newbies along with the International Relations department [Ipsy's dept :)] even in my wildest dream i never knew organizing a freshers would be this exhausting and excruciatingly painful.firstly, we were not getting a date to book our indoor stadium, then we fell few thousands of rupees short of any kind of decent budget but then the prospect of giving a joint freshers saved the day. we are pooling in our resources.

organizing a fresher is a huge responsibility,with ten different people and their views and wants.we zeroed in on an English band called "Crimson Dust" and we also confirmed "Hades Fire"-the lead vocalist is our professors niece.then suddenly it was decided that we were not having two English bands,but 1 Bengali and 1 English band.then we spoke to a band called "infusion",after everyone's consent we confirmed them by giving them an advance.then the [initially]laidback men of our class found out that infusion is a C grade band.so we cancelled them,lost the advance money.we could not afford to pay a professional band but we could afford some popular but less expensive bands.by then i had cancelled with crimson tides, so in the end we settled with this band called "Sankromon".

When the program for the evening was finally decided.the man who would give us the light and sound started posing problems.he hiked the budget by a few thousand rupees,somehow i begged and pleaded him to reduce the amount,thankfully he did.then we couldn't get hold of the man who would put up the stage,he brought our budget down by a few hundred rupees.phew!when these things were progressing,we all started begging our classmates to make their contribution.and that was one of the greatest problems.people who made tall talks,that they could do better,and that money is no object it should be of correct approach,these were the ones who actually floundered to pay up.we left no stone unturned and collected what we should have,to make an equal sponsor er of this show.As if these problems were not enough,date problems put us in a tight spot with the Indoor Stadium,where this program is going to be held.and not just that,the E[ngineering]-faculty people got drunk and got booze within university campus and even got caught.so now the Registrar has issued a new rule,that all program's should end latest by 6pm.

Usually we begin at 1pm and end by 10pm,6pm onwards is the band performances.now with the new rule we are beginning at11am.with performances from both the department and then the bands.its one colossal task.the ones who are there organizing it are having a nightmarish life with this freshers sitting on our heads.it is tough,collecting money from people and handling the cash.it is a matter of huge responsibility.i am just thankful that my pal Ipsy is the coordinator from the IR department,since we are compatible on a personal level,its easier to work towards a big budget show like this.we both are even wearing saree and she is staying over the night before,so tomorrow promises to be a helluva time.i just wish day after tomorrow the "Freshers Welcome" is of a good standard and it is as enjoyable to the UG-1's as it had been for us,when we were freshers.

Semester flashback!

Phew! Semester is finally over…I am still in a daze…so swiftly and so suddenly the past few months whisked past….i could hardly catch my breadth….till May I was a school student.
But all of a sudden here I was studying in one of the best institutions in the whole country-Jadavpur University…
In these past few months I have evolved so much that now that I look back I am amazed….a very simple girl freshly out of an all girls convent school…I had so many apprehensions and so many rigid do’s and don’ts…but now I have grown up and become much more accepting towards people…misconceptions has given way to true understanding ….
Life in JU has been a really a rocking time… I have never felt so enthusiastic about studies that I would stay up all night just to surf the internet to find background material for the next class…. had the opportunity to be taught by some of the coolest professors on campus-Suchorita Chattopadhay and Sayantan Dasgupta…. my conception of teachers, have undergone a sea change, ‘SC’ mam is like a mother figure…she ‘ll take no nonsense from you but she will listen patiently when u want som help,she will soothe your senses..calm you down and help you out without cribbing about it….‘SDG’ as we call sir fondly or ‘Sayantan Da’ is just like one of us…. ever helpful and generous…. from the children's day cake to the blast we had with him when we [me, Rohit and Tania] went out to lunch with him in Tangra or our chatting over coffee at CCD…..yeah you read right…we do hang out with our prof’s…what more our profs are very tech savvy indeed…yup! There are regular on orkut as well like any of us…that’s why there are simply the BEST…
I had been very apprehensive about making new friends on campus but I had no reason to think that way…. because every body is everybody’s friend at ju…I have friends in almost all departments and they are truly wonderful people…yeah I do have my set of friends…. I have Rohit, this guy who is a Greek encyclopedia and one my close friends…Nimisha…sweet cute and extremely adorable girl who is the Egyptian goddess of our class…Shubhankar, class topper and my best buddy…Shiladitya the class joker…sitting in the jheel par or at the ledge chatting, tea sessions and talks with seniors. Oh! Its been just wonderful…
On a personal front…I have started writing again…thought I had lost my touch of writing poetry…not that I write well…i just dabble with words…. I have witnessed new things and adjusted to them…took plunges and realized for myself what is good for me what is not… took a fag…didn’t quite like it. and that marked the end to my curiosity about smoking … started giving tuitions…earned my 1st salary…opened my 1st bank account and bought my own cell with my savings…oh! So beautiful…
now that the semester has come to an end…I am feeling nostalgic…we wont have the same profs anymore in the next semester…may be it wont be as much fun….I have left a few new friends behind… and a wonderful relationship has gone haywire with a person I admire a lot…..despit all the draw backs.....all in all its been a good six months despite the few downs that I had to go through….I found friends like shubho who didn’t hesitate to hang out with me just before the exams and made it a point to help me out…Rohit, who always was there whenever I reached out….after a great 6 months…I really do have to admit that truly ju simply rocks!