Thoughts

Okay so the exams were just okay.. you ll ask why? well it was lengthy and my hand had a cramp, fingers were stiff and damn profs mixed and matched texts that made the paper more lengthy and more analytical. my fastrack seems to be down in the dumps like me so keep taking breaks now and then, almost rendering me helpless.. damn! moreover i got an answer paper from one of the most important papers and i did not get good marks just plain average.... that too just before the exams.. surely it wasn't helping either!! so much for luck!! anyway its over so and the score now stands at; only two more exams to go and im kinda happy, i know i ll have lot to worry when the results are out, yeah i am prepared to be dissapointed, for not being treated fair.. dont worry i ll get over it.. its regular you see... i never seem to get anything better.. yeah thats what you call 'my bad luck being bad' day!!

There are millions of happy things crossing my mind even when I'm writing these sullen words. dont bother asking... I'll tell you anyway.. well guess what?? I spoke to Miss Happiness the other day for the first time ever..and she was the sweetest... she was everything i had dreamt of and more.. and we spent most of the time giggling and i was so excited that i was talking non-stop.. in English, and some very broken and awkward hindi.. :) yup you guessed it... its the belated budday girl; Harshita I'm talking about... :)

Okay more on thoughts.... there is a major secret I'm keeping.. im bursting to tell.. but somehow i think its jinxed if i say before it happening it may ruin the fun! hmm from the track record of such things maybe i can call 'it' my winter bonanza... okay my thoughts on just what i am going to do when the exams are over just has to stop... phew! because I'm getting all dreamy and teary here... okay now back to something meaningful its something that i wanna know....

Have you ever loved someone
Knowing well that he/she will never reciprocate your feelings?
If yes, then
What makes you do it?

The love im talking about need not be between a man and woman..
no i am not upset or depressed... just asking... :)

P.S- i'm tired and fatigued, so much so that i dont have a clue as to what exactly im saying.... i may just pass out with exhaustion.. people overlook anything you dont find up to the mark... i just had a bad day.. it was too much to handle!pardon me for that.. okay enough.. i just have to hit the sack! NOW!! will come back and comment tomorrow... promise...

Happy Birthday Harshita!!

A very special person was born on this day. She is magnetic, charming, and friendly and happiness personified. She breezes through filling colors to your life, lifts your spirit and leaves you with a smile. She is a hardcore optimistic and her optimism so extreme and contagious that you are compelled to follow. She is the epitome of all things happy and cheerful. With her trademark “AHO!!” “koi gal nahi” she is the one person I look forward to talk to, at least once a day. She is the one person for whom I’m online despite being extremely sleepy or held up. She is the one person who inspires me to take everything in my stride, she has taught me that there are two ways to deal with a problem; one- you can sit and lament and ponder and feel unhappy, or you can sit up and try and be cheerful and stare the problem down. And I’m proud of you Harshita. Thank you for being there, every time I needed you. And more than which, thank you for being my friend.

A friend in need

And an angel indeed

Sunshine and morning dew

She is one of the genuine few

She is all things Happy, cheerful and gay

She will inspire you with her positive ways

Naughty and whacky and full of smiles

She is tireless like the limitless skies

Gentle, sensitive and kind

She is the ultimate friend you will ever find

Here’s wishing you a very happy birthday HARSHITA!!
May all the happiness belong to you!
May your day be filled happiness and good cheer!!
Have a fulfilling birthday!!

You mean the world to me, thank you for being my friend.
Hugs and lots of love

- Phoenix.

A BIG thank you to Hemz who photoshop-ed these pictures for me and thus helping me make this day a special one for one of my dear friends.

Ghastly Guests!!

Recently a few guests came over, their attitude really bugged the hell out of me. its funny how we are particular about the things we own, its well being but when it comes to others we care two hoots. who bothers if we are inconveniencing the hosts? as long as we are fine. i mean wtf!

This lady came with her young son who was given something to eat. he was crawling on our carpet and instead of feeding him herself the lady let him spill the contents of the food all over the expensive carpet. and then promptly told my mom, do give the carpet for dry cleaning... the poor baby's nose was running.. so the mother wiped his nose with her hand and then went on to wipe it on the handles of the sofa. imagine!! height of unhygienic behavior.. her 10 year old son was merrily pouncing up and down on our sofa almost ruining it, while his mom did nothing to stop him. i was wanting desperate to tell the lady to sit up and take notice that they are causing harm to our belongings but she was least bothered.

My student had once come to meet me and marched past the sitting room right into my room and sitting down on my bed, she found it soft so decided to pounce up and down. she got hold of cupid [my stuffed doggy] and began to pull its ears and began kissing him. i was seething in anger, from that day onwards i don't permit her to enter my room and don't let get her close to anything i consider personal and extremely precious or private.. i mean really? where are the etiquettes?

Some relatives came over. and they were supposed to dine with us. on being served their piled their plates with food and decided to waste more than half of the contents. i have serious doubts if these people will dare to do the same in their household. will they waste food if they were in their house? then why do these people misbehave in others house?? if you cant eat as much as you have been given then why dont you request to have them removed instead of wasting it.. some people will do anything if the food comes free.. yeww!!

This uncouth behavior really angers me. i don't know why people don't cultivate some manners and etiquettes when it is so essential for once grooming. and why are more so exploitive when it comes to other people when they wont ever do the same if the tables were changed to something that directly linked to them? Sit up people, and grow some manners!!

P.S-2 more days to go.. :)

I'M a BAD BAD Girl!!

I have been a bad bad girl.c'mon you pervs stop your naughty thoughts right now!! :) its just that i used to be studious, diligent and hardworking but i seem to have lost myself somewhere... don't ask me how? as me why? well i had study leave the last two weeks... what did i do? i did study.. a lil.. like the vulture picking at bones!![ nice description na? :P] so what have i been doing? by gods grace i found out that my favorite TV show- the Grey's Anatomy's official website... now i know i have missed out some episodes now and then , so while surfing the site.. i found out that they have episode updates.. so technically my Gtalk status message was correct -Studying.. Do not disturb.. when i was just reading the 1,2 and 3 season updates... that took me some 4 hours :D but that done i was happy the task was almost done! no i mean i do have another 4 seasons to read up.. now where was i? o yeah exams... well Saturday was kinda wasted.. i don't remember how... then Sunday.. i was supposed to study but then i was reading the episode updates and talking to my friends online.... Hems was of great help really... talking non-stop with me... he even gave me these two pictures and how i love them :). And guess what? yesterday evening i even went shopping...got myself a nice blue tee, and a really cute sweater.. cool na? :D ya ya i know I've been a bad bad girl....

Okay don't worry i know how bad a girl i have been.. so i went to bed at 10.45pm last night... but before you think otherwise.. i got up at 3 today [morons! :|] :D and i did my preparation. see basically the equation that i worked out for myself was... i ll have 3 questions to answer... 2 of my favorite professor and 1 of this $@#*^! this great lady never gives us marks even if we deserve it.. so i thought.. chaddo yaar..ki farak payenda hai [harshita ishtyle] and gave less importance to her texts.. so no worries my preparation was done and i was kinda ready to face my semesters somewhat shaky but bang on :P
Do you still want to know how my exams went?? i ll come to that but later.. :) you know what?i discovered while writing my script today that my pen was great but it slacked my speed but there was nothing i could do.. then i had friends who seemed to be having a ball even in the exam hall.. i was reassured okay i wasn't the only one.. :) and then our prof announced... 15 more minutes to go.. and i argued no sir 40 minutes to go.. he sweetly came up to me and showed me my watch... it had stopped.. Jezz i was shit scared... but he reassured me that it was fine.. of course i became fine at once... he is my favorite prof na.. the one i had a crush on in first year *blush* *blush* :P okay okay... exam went well... i need a 15 to get a 60% and 5 to pass in 30.. and i think i may just make it... :)

So the next exam is on Thursday... and I'm not willing to wake up at 3am again.. so i will surely study... and all you can heave a sigh of relief... yes bacchi sudhar gayi hai :)

Cheerio!!

P.S- 3 MORE DAYS TO GO!! look out for this space for more... :)

P.P.S- Pictures courtesy Mr Hemz Bond :)

Blog,Myself and Exams....

Phew! the month long blog-a-thon thus comes to an end today. i had planned that in November i ll blog everyday..and voila !! my job is done... well you can applaud my skills of writing crap.. but id very modestly admit.. i d nothing much to do anyway but write... :) 32 posts in one month is no mean feat because there are such moments when i do face writers block... anyway... I'm drifting here....

these are just a few of the books in my course this semesters...

My semesters begin tomorrow.... i have done my bit but not really seriously or diligently like i do otherwise... am i nervous wreck that i am usually before exams?!! hell no!! :) in fact I'm just cool... I'm doing everything on earth than give my 100% in studies.. Ive decided that if i don't feel like/ or i don't like doing something i wont. and this is a funda i use everywhere in everything... silly i know but hey that's me... :D

that's me in my wavy hair

I've been obsessing about myself a lot lately... been thinking of straightening my hair.. now straightening my hair is not something i have been too fond of or dying to get done... in fact i love my wavy hair.... now shelling Rs 4000-5000 on getting it professionally done is not something i consider wise...in fact i think its a waste of money... a hair straightener to get it done temporarily maybe a safe bet....but then I'm aiming at an image makeover...I'm tired of feeling bad about myself, I've only now started taking pride in being me because earlier i felt overweight and ugly... there is a host of things I'm aiming at doing BUT after loosing weight.... i need new specks.. new hairstyle... a tee or two.. a good bright sweater.. ipod... these are things i so want but I'm keeping them as a bait for myself to shed some weight.... phew! what not i do... really.... do you think i should go for hair straightening?? because i have long hair... but after my hair dries it curls up deceiving the actual length and i can hardly carry any proper style off, one because my hair is wavy and two because my hair grows damn fast... people i need some help here...

since my semesters will be on for the next two weeks and i cant bring myself up to quit blogging or even spend considerable time thinking of something new each day.. i have devised a plan.. i thought i ll post on random 5 things per post... will put in updates of exams and all ... god! how i want to get rid of these semesters so that i can just enjoy the glorious winter... :)

anyways i quit rambling here... :)

have a great week ahead!

cheerio!!

P.S- i have put up a pic of mine, in wavy hair and notice the nose piercing... i had been meaning to write about it but never got around to doing it.... do comment on it too... :)

Victory!! As relief floods in...

YAY!! the ordeal is over... even though there are casualties.... loss of life ...destruction... but most of the hostages has been rescued...terrorists killed Taj could have been blown up.. a 106 year old heritage building.. but for th brave hearts who has ensured that they will be there every time there is a crisis.. they don't care for their lives.. their loved ones... but for their country.. who smile and shrug nonchalantly saying.. it wasn't a big deal , it was their job to help the country...

Kudos to the Army, NSG and the other forces at work which after 62 hours brought the nightmare to a fitful end... Major Unnikrishnan finds a special mention as the brave heart who fell to his fate serving his nation *salute*

Today Indians can rest but tomorrow will be the time.. to book those for whom we suffered such a nightmare.. the politicians have a lot to answer for...

Counting My Many Blessings

Anger, relief,pride,grief, mourning hope- are some of the emotions was running through me as i sat glued to the television relentlessly for many hours. all id like to say at a moment like this is.. i'm proud that i belong to that category of Indians, who think,who feel and who care; i've seen bloggers angry, voicing their opinion out aloud, showing their solidarity towards a nation that we belong to, leaving aside caste,creed, sex, sect etc.. We are Indians and no-one dares to mess with our motherland.

I salute the photo,print vedio journalists for their extensive and detailed coverage of this whole issue. an ardent fan of TIMES NOW, and Arnab Goswami; this is to applaud him and his whole team, who brought to us some really great journalism.

But the segment of people who finds extra special mention is the NSG, the navy, army and the camandos; who have worked fearlessly, without tiring and rescuing the hostages, and carrying out Mission;black Tornado to the hopefully its last leg of the armed battle.

Enough has been said now is the time to look forward and counting the many blessings.... yes there is a death toll, yes there is a crisis.. but it is not a time to sit back and lament but pray in thanks giving of what worse could have happened but thankfully never did... its thanksgiving and it is time we count our many blessings...

Here are the people and things i am most thankful about....

• my family, because of whom i am what i am. without them my life would have been so bleak.
• Samik, nomatter how grave the differences we may have, he is a comfort i treasure, his is the thought that comes to my mind in times of happiness or grief.
• i'm thankful of having a healthy mind and body; that i can run, walk, think, dream, achieve and do whatever i feel, how i feel and whichever way i feel.
  
• friends i have made in this journey of life, some who have struck through thick and thin.
  
• my blog and my friends here. my day begins with me sleepily putting on my pc to come online comment.. and my day ends with me signing out of gtalk... ive met some amazing friends here, and its kind of nice to interact with people outside what is "real' world...

do share your thoughts and the things and people you are most thankful about...

Terror Terror Everywhere!!

Its in news everywhere! live coverage, vedio clippings and more and more updates, its all over the news, the Mumbai massacre is there everywhere. with 101 killed till now and 287 injured... and 16 policemen dead, the government is out with condemnation and compensation. what is astonishing is, how could a Lashkar-e-toiba brand of terrorists travel through the Arabian sea and get off at the gateway of India without surveillances or any patrolling by the Indian navy? not just that how could these terrorists all in their early 20's gain access and entry into 3 big hotels of Mumbai- the Trident, Taj and the Nariman Bhavan?

While the operations are still on. and hostages are rescued; the government should sit down and discuss security issues instead of election campaign. are we a soft target then? only when there is a terror do we wake up and talk about nationalist feeling? Hasn't the government officials heard of prevention being better than cure??

What really really pissed me off was, in a far away city like Kolkata, the police woke up to tighten the security only after such incidents. shouldn't we have surveillance all the time and isn't security a thing that should be on 24*7 ? this is the case everywhere, we wait till terror strikes instead of being prepared of such a thing to happen.

Damn the government that boasts of being for the people, by the people and of the people; yet it fails to deliver to the citizens that vote them into power. if we behave like sheep it is bound that others will behave like tyrants. we have no infrastructure and no basic amenities to combat such grave issues like terrorism, we need to come up with a back up plan instead of just sitting back and watching on helpless.

My condolences are with the dead.May peace be with them.
Here's wishing all those injured a speedy recovery.
A big salute to those jawans and policemen who are at their job relentlessly trying to overcome these bloodthirsty leeches who are wasted on this planet earth.

May relief soon be close at hand.
God Speed.

Roshni: My Niece

My first memory of my niece is stepping into the room where my sister was dressing this tiny tot. i was too shocked to react, to see my sister with a baby was something that hadn't yet registered. mother and my sister?! no way! a gurgle drew my attention to this tiniest of being on earth. hesitantly i inched closer until my sister just flopped her over into my arms. nervous and scared that i may drop her. i clung to her for my life. that day despite being nothing more than 12-13 myself i knew what it is to hold someone close to ones heart. she won me over with her cu tests of smiles and those eyes that just stared at me laughingly. that very day i gave up my savings of rs 50 to buy her a 'hit me" toy which was way taller than her and would topple her, but the way she would hug it would melt my soul.

R O S H N I was just 9 months, my sister was admitted in the hospital with a bad case of appendicitis and i was entrusted with her care.barely old enough to know my way. i did what a mother should do. put her to sleep after walking and singing to her.changed her at regular intervals, cleaning her and feeding her. she wouldnt ever go to my mother, and clung to me 24*7. nights i would be awake trying to play with her and feed her and putting her to sleep.studies was the last thing i was able to do, because while she was asleep i would be trying to rest too. she was the world to me, and i did what i did only because i knew i had all the happiness in form of the baby in my arms.


Roshni is now all of 9. tall and lanky. she wears all my clothes with elaan.and she is more a friend than niece to me. she introduces me as a "friend" and not "masi" to her classmates and proudly flaunts me. it is always me who has to get her smallest whim and fantasy fulfilled. just like she knows she is pampered she is quite scared of me as well. she is the only one i allow to handle by precious cam. we get into some bad fights as well but they don't last long because chocolates and teddies do manage to bribe her and in no time is back to her usual chirpy self. it was worth all the pain and the neat pile i spent behind getting her the bacugan toy she so wanted. last time we were in the mall i hadn't been able to get her the toy coz i wasn't carrying my card with me.. but this time i got it and my my the look on her face was well worth it.

She just makes me such happy person. she makes me wanna put all the happiness of the world at her beckoning. because she is and will always be, my darling. and love is hardly the emotion that can summarize just how precious she is to me.she is and will always be my baby.

PS-D0 drop in a comment in the post below..

Of church bells and chimes
Of tears and smiles.
Here's wishing you a fond goodbye

will miss you Chris. have a bon voyage.god speed.