Yahoo

Have you ever loved someone knowing you will lose him?

I don't know if this will ever make sense to you, whether you will understand the gravity of what i am writing, but to me it means a lot.

Yahoo came to our house on a two day visit. He is my dad's friends pup. he is barely a month old. He was our guest for two days until he was to be taken away. knowing all we welcomed him into our heart and our lives. Repercussions of what will happen when he leaves never once entered our minds, we loved him as our own and we received him into our lives willingly. two days passed in a blink of an eye... its been around19 hours since he left... his presence is still missed... his small pranks... his running around everywhere... his sniffing and then chewing the legs of the chairs.. his bed remains untouched..rumpled as he has left it...

We miss you Yahoo.. you came for a few days and left an imprint on our mind for years to come. i know i will never have a pup at my place but the fact that you came and fulfilled my childhood dream, means much... i so hope you have a fulfilling life ahead with your new masters and new life.. while i will always treasure these borrowed moments...

55 Fiction: Time to say goodbye

She wrote their names on the wet sand,yet again..

Yet again the waves washed it away..

"Somethings in life are never meant to be... its best to let it go."

She turned to see him walk away,each step separating them.

She sighed..as lone tear slipped out. It was time to say goodbye.

P.S- this is my first attempt at 55 ficion ... im ready for brickbats and tomatoes :P :)

Awards!!

I have received a lot of awards of late but i never had the chance to put it but here it is... :)

this one is by Pulkit.. thank you so much Pulkit for the thoughtful post and beautiful words.. im really very touched... thanks a ton!!

This is lot of awards are from Vinay aka Leo.. thankie!! :D

This lot of awards are from Yams aka Yamini.. thanks a ton sweetheart for the awards!!

These awards are from Mayank!!! need i say more.. I'm sure you know I'm thrilled!!! :D

You dint think i was that bad did you? there are some awards for you too.. yes yes you all...trust me... :) go on now click HERE

Leaving Home Blues...

last night, i woke up suddenly in the middle of the night. As i lay there on my bed,darkness surrounding me i could hear a rhythmic breathing somewhere near me as an arm encircled my waist. as i wriggled the arm tightened some more. i felt contended and peaceful. this time there were no complaints, i didn't mind her nuzzling me in sleep, i didn't mind that she practically kicked me out of my bed, i didn't so much as yank back the covers which she had unceremoniously taken away from me. to me these now seemed bliss.. i guess you can call this leaving home blues.

while growing up i couldn't wait to leave home. every time i was down with some problem all i wanted to do was flee somewhere. i still do at times. but now i realize just what i am going to have to give up for that. here are the things i will absolutely miss when away from home.

~kachoris... there is this halwai [snack shop] nearby and i simply love the kachori from there.. and a jalebi to add...slurp slurp... off too good yaar i simply love it... i could have the same everyday... :)

~i didn't think i was such a fish person.. okay being a bong makes me a fish person but i wasn't before..but i have become now...imagine not having..doi [curd] rui[rohu], hilsa..omg writing this post is turning out to be a food post and it is making me all hungry... :P

~all these years of staying home, and having a room all to myself, i had tons of liberties which i am going to miss when is hostel. here when i sleep i am all prim and proper but when i wake up i am a mess, my night dress rides up, my hands and legs are all over the place. i guess now i need to be prim and proper even in my sleep with 3 other girl to share the room with :) god i need a lot of practice here...

~oooooo i will miss my bed.. the soft mattress in which i almost sink in...the comforts of the bed which makes me fall asleep instantly..sigh!

~the other day i heard the dhak [sound of drum] that are played specially during the pujas.. the very sound of it heralds the pujas..and you know its a matter of time when the whole celebrations will start..those five days ..when there is no night, then sleep flees, despite the aching feet and sore eyes; people still have the energy to walk all over the city..those early morning anjali's and the evening arati's those new clothes and shoes bites..... but this year there will be none of it...i cant even imagine waking up, knowing that it is the pujas in kolkata and not be able to savour it all... god I'm feeling homesick already...

~have you ever had boiled potatoes mashed, with a little bit of ghee and salt with rice? it tastes heavenly.. its my favourite..how I'm gonna miss it..its like my staple diet here... :(

~blogging is on my mind greatly...i know i will be able to blog..but will i like get to just use a pc whenever i feel i need to pen down some? just the thought that i will be at the mercy of college computers without my brad pitt[my pc] i am feeling lost...

~no birthdays are not special for me...bt despite all that i think i am gonna miss not being around folks on that day..the panch bhaja [5 types of fries...like brinjal,potato,cauliflower etc] and the payesh [rice custard/kheer]

i thought my mood will improve as i write but i seem to get all depressed... maybe its got to do with the fact that within a month..that is 15Th July I'm supposed to leave..and my mood has gone for a toss ever since I've had it...ok this is it.. i should end the post here..i dont want to breakdown.. i hope you guys had a great weekend....tadaaa!cya later.....

Hmmph!!

What is it with people huh? they insult and humiliate you, then they act haughty and act as if nothing has happened and you are overreacting. then as soon as they see the tide changing they assume a new form and act all coy and nice. they disregard you otherwise but when it comes to them they expect you to regard them as a normal step to normalcy! ludicrous isn't it?

Why aren't we, what we want others to be, with us?

Banish Fakes, Hypocrites and Lairs from the civilized society!!

Point to Ponder

'To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.' ?When something is taken from your grasp, Its  not a punishment , but merely opening your hands to receive something better.

Think about this ... . 'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.' ?Something good will happen to you today; something that you have been waiting to hear.?

There comes a point in your life when you realize:?

Who matters,

Who never did,

Who won't anymore...

And who always will.

So, don't worry about people from your past,

there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.

I have been pretty pensive of late, the days are rolling by, the tension is mounting. it will soon be time to say goodbye. its a feeling of fear and anxiety, its excitement and determination as apprehension rules the roost. but when i chanced on this email, it struck a chord with me and made me feel better instantly, so i thought id share it with you. hope you guys liked it...

OH NOOOOOOOOO!!!

YOU guys are just so bad!!!

no no don't glare at me!!

you guys really are...

all you people said "my god kitna blog karti hai"

and see now... i cant write a word!

NOT A WORD!!! damn!!!

I want to write, i wrote half a post but i deleted it because i cant find words! god!

Its all YOUR FAULT!!

P.S- there is one bad news... Nikhil aka Multimenon.. well his blog was deleted by his brother.. and this makes me soo soo sad :( and that too when he was about to finish his 100th post. *HUGS* Nikhil 

This N That

How important are your values and principals??

What if you had to take a pick between the one you love and your princiapls what would you choose?

I hate to say this but i think i just suffered a major writers block. i can give tons of excuses like, i am really pressed up with time [i really have] or that i am too busy to think of a post [ i have been busy before but i have always posted] or for the fact i feel a lot fatigued and drained these days; but to me too it sounds lame. even Anwesa's life saving act [read:the interview] couldn't pull me out and make me write. its all a little too complicated on my end and i can barely breathe..

2ND of June was samik's birthday and incidentally our 4 year anniversary too. i had a beautiful morning, i was yanked from my sleeping stupor to received "the thing" that had come for me. nothing making sense, my eyes hardly open, i managed to scribble my name as i slumped on the sofa only to be bombarded by a series of questions as to who sent me a huge bouquet of pink roses and orchids. Dad even went on to say how my secret admirer was thoughtful as he ushered my birthday 3 month in advance, if this wasn't enough mom let the cat out of the bag saying how come on Samik's birthday i get flowers sent by him?!! :P no really it was hilarious and very embarrassing.. but nonetheless a thoughtful gesture which i absolutely appreciated... the whole event was a dream come true and the flowers were totally out of the world! :)

Since i have just about a month and half okay 41 days to be precise, to leave now the whole house is swinging into action.. meri ma sach mein meri maa nikli...she brought out this huge list [read that went on to be about 4 pages] of the things i need to buy and the stuff i need to take. in fact right now i bailed out sometime for myself to blog, because i was feeling so bad for neglecting my bloggie for so long.. and really i meant what i had said i am going to blog even in Bangalore and there is no two ways about it... 

i have been talking to this new friend of mine her name is Vaidehi, she got through my college [okay calling JU my college for so many years, and now referring to IIJNM as college is so weird i tell you... :) ] and we both have decided to be roomies. thankfully to the delight of both of us, we have discovered similar tastes and likings, we are a lot alike in the kind of person we are... and it looks like i am going to have a good time there.. she seems nice and affectionate and i am really having a good time getting to know her.. hopefully someday i will get to splash pictures of her on my blog once we become good friends. she is now one of the reasons why i am looking forward to my new college.

its the beginning to an end... and everything seems to be taking me a step closer to leaving home, it is a scary feeling but then i am a lot excited too, though i fear tears and heart burn wont be far off but i am so eager to test the waters myself. i have managed to pack all my graduation books and xeroxes into two massive boxes and another box contains all my memories of slam book, scribbled tees,movie tickets etc, these were the toughest to pack. i was almost in tears thinking of packing all this away to clear my room to make space. some day i have to leave my Brad Pitt [my pc] too and then he will be possessed by Roshni or mom, the only consolation will be that my emails and chats will be view through Brad..sigh!! god I'm getting all weepy and senti here :)

god can u believe it i get almost everything new! from hair clips to undies.. from books and copies to equipments.. god! i feel so important and like a Queen. imagine the shopping expeditions, the phase1 starts today!! :) accha that reminds me i am getting a new phone and an ipod too... now i need help..im looking at nokia 5130 Xpress music [click the link] and i was wondering if at all i should do for Ipod or ditch it for an Mp4 player..see the logic is.. for ipod u need to download itunes, i wonder if i will be able to do that in college computers, moreover with the same amount i get a 2GB MP4 player.. since i am not big gadget expert if you guys have any idea...kindly shed some light :) funny how talks of shopping always perks you up na?? :) 

btw in case you are interested i wrote Yams a guest post... if you wish you can view it here.

I'm so in vogue these days i tell you that people invite me to their blogs to write posts.. first it was yams and then it was Mayank and the list just goes on and on. jokes apart! :) i am really honoured to write all the words but this zalim writers block..at times like this all i can say is Thank you God for gifting me Anwesa.. [you know what i mean now don't you my bind?! :P]

Phew!! this really is a long long post!! god u guys must be bored to death.. so sorry haan bura mat mana..bas aisai suddenly you know under ki bhadas nikal hi ayaa... :)

chalo i am off for now... next time will try to come back with a better post..till then you guys smile and take care... mwuaaaaaaaaaah!! :)

P.S- if you find any hot guys send him this way please! :)

Tête-à-tête

Its an honour to be a part of Her Highness Phoenix’s 100th post of the year. I want to make best use of this opportunity to delight her readers. I guess the whole bloggerville is aware of our special relationship. For the sake of the novice bloggers, I hereby proclaim that we are a couple, albeit without any malign or disrespect towards anybody’s feelings. Coming back to her, we met on 25th December 2008 and are going steady ever since. I really don’t know what brought us so close- our similarities or differences. Anyways, I now move on to what I was meant to do. Have yet another chit-chat session.

1-Phoenix, you have always been an open book for your blog-readers. It has its advantages but don’t you ever feel that your privacy is threatened by it ?

hmm..good question.. you know my prof at college keeps telling us that blogging to him is washing your dirty linen in public, however I beg to differ. After 2 and a half years of blogging, I find blogging therapeutic and if I don’t blog I will probably go insane…and my answer is in your question, I am an open book and being a generally a secure person I don’t feel threatened if people know the real me. When one blogs one uses his/ her discretion.. so I don’t write anything that can threaten my privacy that is against my blogging ethics.


2-You are a gem of a person. You have your imperfections too but somehow they accentuate your persona. Now tell us what are your worst qualities as a blogger.

OMG! :) well when I read the blogs of Mayank, Yams, you and a few others who churn out literary masterpieces.. I feel inadequate. This is so because I can write only when I feel about the topic or it touches me in some way other the other. So I cannot really write using ornamental words to express on topics out of the blue or a random thought… here lies my inadequacies or worst quality as a blogger. i wish i could write quality stuff or for that matter, i wish i could write poems using literary writing meters.


3-Your perception of friendship-how different are your e-pals from your real world friends?

Friendship to me is forever and it is one of the greatest realities of my life, so whether real or e-pals doesn’t make it any difference, they are equally important to me. In fact I turn to my e-pals much more when in grief than my real friends.

4- An oft-repeated cliche – do you believe in perfect relationships? Is it an illusion or luck by chance or in one’s hands ?

I’m a perfectionist as you know, but then I have realized that there is nothing called perfect or ideal in life, a relationship or a person can come close to what you consider an ideal. Running after an ideal or perfection in relationship is like running after a mirage in a desert. As about chance, well some people are a little lucky who retain the magic of the initial romance in a relationship, often time weathers it away but then if you want such a drastic fate or a stable relationship is in our hands..

5- your favourite blogger . And why ? (only one name-no diplomacy or inhibitions-just be honest and frank-I know you are…)

you never ever choose between gems… that is a rule I maintain…:P okay jokes apart.. its unfair to name any particular person, because each of my blogger friends assume a particular role and function in my life, like Harshita is like my eternal shelter, You are my bind, an ultimate friend who listens patiently and always bails me out of sticky spots, Richa is like my alter ego ultimate girl pal i can ever have, then there is Yams who adds peace and calm to my life, Nikhil is my twin soul, Mayank is and eternal mentor to me, he kinda brings out the best in me… Sumit da is my only brother in blog world and then there is Amit who has now become a real good friend to me.. isn’t it really unfair to choose the best among bestest. im sure u will agree right?? :P


6- your best post till date…..

god I cant name one.. only because I haven’t thought about it …all my sentimental posts are my favorite because it comes straight from the heart and I am not really good at expressing my emotions…

7- 100 posts in 5 months- 20 posts a month – how easy or tough is it to write posts every other day ?

hell it was easy! i am a born blogger and who dares equal me… lol! Just kidding.. the thing is, when I am under immense stress and pressed up for time, I automatically turn to blogging for comfort and to keep me sane. As you know last few months were grueling and extremely stressful for me.. :)

8- Bengaluru- your new destination. How will your blogging be affected by this change of place ? I know its too early to say but still….any idea ?

I so love this question… see the first thing I asked my senior from college when I got through IIJNM was are we permitted to blog using college computers and only after being thoroughly assured I gave dad the go ahead to initiate the process of admission.. : )
So I have insured my blogging career, apart from the initial few days of settling down I think I may actually get back to a post a month, specially since I wont have anything else to keep me occupied. :) So don’t smirk I am not leaving blogging for anything in the world. :P

9-What is your idea of pure blogging ? we often find people using their blogs to blow their own trumpet/use blogs for publicity. How wrong or right is that ?

Hmm well I cant answer for anyone else here, we have our personal reasons to blog, and since our blog is like our private space where we let in our friends to peak in, it is bound to be I-centric. It can be boring for the readers I know but then one must understand its our private space after all.. hey I hope this question is not targeted to me? :P lol I'm no one to judge other peoples actions but I know I don’t want to blow my own trumpet but there are times I share my accomplishments etc to celebrate the event that is all. it is all about how we percieve a particular thing. 


10- “Destiny’s Child” is a personal blog (its all about you and your world) . In a span of a few years would you ever create another personal blog in addition to the existing one ? Please elaborate.

NO WAY! I may have other blogs where I write but there wont be another personal blog, because for one I have another secret, private and confidential blog..shush!! And two, I like reading my pasts posts and analyzing how I have evolved as a person. Moreover my blog in a way are a record of the events and people or things that have happened to me over the period of time…and to me my blog is my world i can never ever abandon it for anything in life.period!


Thanks dear for giving me the pleasure of talking to you. You know how I love it. I hope you enjoyed it too. And your readers too. I hope you continue blogging and provide us the joy of your companionship.

:P haha the pleasure is all mine sweetheart, you always bail me out of my writers block and im really grateful you agreed to do this at such a short notice. And thanks a ton for the beautiful wishes and I will see to it that you guys wont get off so easily and that I will continue to blog and torture you till whenever I can.. :)

So its Anwesa signing off with a promise to meet all of you yet again.....till then keep smiling err blogging !!!