The thing called LOVE!?

Sometimes i wonder what is it drives people to love? they approach the object of that compelling love, risking rejection to confess his/her feelings. and then what? with time slowly love becomes a habit and soon its nothing but a charade. sounds cynical? its true.

I doubt if most people realize the kind of commitment or responsibility they are about to take up when they approach someone with their feelings. most often i see people going miles for the person they love but once they become sure of the other persons feelings they sit back and stop trying. nothing can be worse fate to this so called love when in the guise of stability habit takes over the spontaneity of love. when it comes to confessing the feelings people are too eager but when it comes to actually doing something for the relationship, most often people shy away. 'i love you' is replaced by "if you don't like me.. we can break up '.

What really vexes me is, why don't most men decide for themselves what they are getting themselves into when they decide for a relationship. okay i maybe a lil unfair here generalizing men, but hey i know there are good men around just that they are too few and unfortunately most of us girls are unlucky to have missed those genuine ones in our lives. i mean seriously, in the early courtship period, guys do everything in their capacity to impress to win love and attention from the girl, and once the target is achieved all that comes to a girl is neglect. because even if the girl gives the guy a hard time before saying a 'yes' to the relationship, but once the girl is committed she is totally loyal and dedicated, and the guys... well they stop doing anything once they get the girl they want.

love is such a sweet feeling. if you are in love with someone you want to make that special person feel loved and wanted, you want to make her feel like she is the most important one in life. you try and be there for her, stick up for her, protect her and give her not only what every girl deserves- love respect,trust and understanding; but also what she needs. you dont just take her for granted, throw attitude and expect her to keep the relationship running and do nothing to help her. if sitting back and seeing things get done something you want then why get into a relationship, if you cant be a man enough to be a good BF to her. is giving her a hard time, compelling her to kill her desires and wants from her relationship, what a girl deserves? most honest men, make a woman feel loved and wanted. they pull out the stops, to be the best man she encountered, they would make the girl feel loved not just on Valentines day but make every day a Valentines day. and yes such men exists, just that men nowadays are wimps who need girl friends to show off and care two hoots for the girl they are with. such men are wimps and total mamma's boys good-for-nothing morons, who get into a relationship for the sake of it, not knowing the true meaning of love.

If this is what love is, i wish i never knew love. because what i thought was just my problem turns out to be a mass problem, one that almost every girl in a relationship is facing.Singledom truly rocks! i wish i could go back to those days, where despite being single, i was never alone, i was in love with 'love' but never felt the need to love someone, and surely there was no heartache. truly those were the best days of my life. love is but an illusion.

P.S- DONT bombard me with are you okay's please. im fine. just plain bitter and disappointed about my experiences. nothing serious though. so please dont jump into conclusions.

Yams thinks i'm cute! :)

Yams aka Yamini has tagged me, and i have gratefully accepted it. this is the cute blogger award that she has given me too. thanks Yams.. you're a sweetheart!

Rules~i need to write 10 cute things about me... :)

1. I am ME, and im not about to change for anything in the world that makes me cute.
2. I'm a patient and dedicated a masi to my niece Roshni.
3. i'm hardworking person.
4. i put others before me, always.
5. im a mature and responsible adult.
6. i have a whacky sense of humor.
7. i'm told [by Samik] when i get angry i sound cute. lol!
8. no matter what happens, even the most serious of problems, i always hide my anguish and sorrows beneath my smile, trying to overcome the worse.
9. no matter what, i never do give up on hope.
10. when im angry,excited,blushing or plain nervous; my face and ears get all heated and red. :)

Now, i tag Anwesa,Dhanya,Pink Orchid,Americanising Desi,The rat, Richa and Harshita.

Happy Holi!

Here's wishing a very Happy Holi, to you and your family.
Have a safe and colourful Holi.

Relationship Woes

Its 4.33am and I'm still up. waiting for Samik to mail. yes he has night shifts and I'm up keeping him company, not because I'm Expected to but because i Want to; so all the plans for doing great things because my boy friend is having night shifts have gone to waste. okay while on the topic of my post on "5 benefits of your boy friend working night shifts" and the comments i got from it i get the idea for this post [thank god! :) because i was totally floundering] now some enjoyed what i wrote and some were apprehensive of Samik's reaction. now this gives me the food to think about the importance of space in a relationship.

I was reading in Harshita's blog where she wrote about relationships and if with marriage ends everything that was there, friends etc before marriage. so that gives me enough things to answer. see a relationship is a simple and tender thing. its all about balance. why would a guy dictate what the girl should do and not? the girl in turn has to use her sensibilities to do things within limits. why do anything to jeopardize your marriage or relationship? its the same for guys as well. if there is space in a relationship and trust, then everything else falls into place. like yea if samik read the post maybe he wont be happy but then he will realize or i hope he does, that my life centers around him and i do things willingly but i also do miss out on friends etc sometimes i do need and yearn for these things and if by coincidence i get the opportunity then why not grab it and put it to full use? would he rather i sit back having nothing to do and be cranky because he is not around to keep me company?I'm sure he wouldn't like a whiny girl friend. and if he doesn't understand than its his bad luck but thankfully he understands.

See the thing is friends are as important as boy friend/girl friend. when the respective other gives you a hard time the friends support you. and when the friends give you a hard time BF/GF is there. Not just that, you need support systems. i mean yea you are in a relationship does that mean you will ignore friends?hell no? why should you? but of course there are possibilities that the person you are friends with may be a trouble to your relationship, then it is on you to judge if there is at all any such threat to the relationship and if you can rationalize that it is not then why bow down to your partners insecurities and loose a friend. of late i have heard my friends loosing out of friends because they choose their relationships over friendship and i was aghast. insecurities and jealousies are like a part of a relationship, it is upon us how we handle it.. if they are still there then the problem then its our inability to make our respective others feel secure about us. Balance is the greatest lessons in life, even the nature thrives on balance [read:life cycle] then why not practice it, if it yields good results. why give up friends for suspecting and distrustful partners? and why give more priority to worthless friends and ignore losing partners? so the trick to maintain healthy professional and personal lives is to maintain balance and space in all relationships.

The moment we stop being guided by the things we SHOULD do and do things Because we WANT to do, life is a lot easier. one should always consult their others on things but the decision should be ours ultimately, and ours alone. if we have our conscience clear, and are guided by it then no insecurity or misunderstandings occur, hence a less complicated and hassle free life!

P.S-If you didn't get a thing of what i said.. i don't blame you..seriously i don't..its just that I'm awake for awhile now so in all probability i don't make sense.. it isn't making sense to me..anyway...you guys didn't tell me how my new template is? BTW i lost most of your links while formatting my blog..i tried restoring most.. still...do comment so that i can link you back... :) thanks in advance!

5 reasons why i'm proud being a woman!

There are times in the month or moments in life i just hate being a woman. those days of pain and discomfort, the PMS, those leches stares, the feeling of insignificance when I'm made to feel like a sexual object and i could go on. but on a day when we celebrate woman empowerment, here are the five reasons why I'm proud to be a woman.

• Strength- those who disrespect woman for being weak don't what exactly they are talking about. physically we may not be able to match up with the men but we do where it matters the most; the mind and body. we have the will power to survive against all odds, we alone are able to bring forth our flesh and blood and give the little one a life. we bear whatever comes our way, to ensure our loved ones are not in the way of harm. a mother who looses a baby makes the attempt to live for the one who survives.
  

• Unselfish and Generous- a woman always thinks of others before herself. despite being hungry herself she will feed the others who may have even subjected her to various anomalies. she doesn't think twice to put others before herself. and the beautiful life she builds around her is based on her muted sacrifices and the numerous compromises she makes.

• Docile and Brave- she may appear docile but when there is a threat to herself or her loved ones, she protests and hits back courageously.

• Homebody and a career woman- today's women are career oriented but she doesn't neglect her duties towards her family. she is a good daughter, sister, mother and wife and manages her various roles in her family and career front with elan.

• Giver- she toils hard to sustain the foetus growing in her with utmost love and care, goes through the agony of having her life ripped apart to give birth to her baby and yet smiles in encouragement in the prospect of doing it all over again just to see the smiling face of her child.

All this and much more makes women all the more special. and makes me a proud that im woman. wishing all you great ladies out there a very Happy Woman's Day!

WTF!!

okay this is surely a WTF! moment. i hope you guys remember i had gone for the Google interview etc? well apparently they called a few people from our class for the other interviews. damn! don't ask, most of us didn't make the cut. surprises? well kinda but then this isn't the end of the world and all that. but hey the drastic bit is the few people of our class got through, who personally some of us feel don't shouldn't even be there, among the ones chosen is one most deserving girl, a hardworking at that and a good academician. but if this is the kinda people who get through then boy! my future seems bleak. now this doesn't mean that i am excellent or most deserving but really shocking to see Bengali medium people who don't even take English as optional to make the cut and others, specially Firefly to not get through. damn this is the most disgusting thing to ever happen. the disappointment is there for sure. but more so is the WTF moment, where you are so damn pissed at fate and everything else that was unjust. god save me from plunging into pitless despair!! am i all that bad?! damn! cruel fate!

In the most darkest hour of despair,
Is born a hope.
A hope for things to be resolved.
Heart anguished for the one it loves;
Turns to the one it seeks,
desperately.
In tears, and grief,
Thoughts disappears,
What remains is love;
Unchallenged and much craved.
In the battle of life, eventually,
Love triumphs.

Pain penetrates me,
drop, by drop.
-Sappho

5 Benifits of your boy friend working night shifts!

Phew! when i heard Samik's department going global, the first thing i felt was despair for him who has a hard time working night shifts as his biological clock gets messed up etc etc. but then i actually found out glorious 5 benifits that im going to enjoy just because my delicate darling of a BF working night shifts. its revenge time!! wuhuuhahaha! :) :P

• SLEEP- yes i will get a good 8 hours of sleep. why? well basically i wake up early by say 7 latest. then i have hordes of chores to do, tuition's and then college, and so on and so forth. in my busy schedule which involves mostly running from one point to another, using my brains sitting in the most analytical and logical classes, then returning home to study for the next day. then there is blogging.. i ll come to that later. you can imagine that by 11pm i am slowly nearing absolute breakdown. do i sleep then? no i have boy friend duty after all! i stay up till 2 to talk to the moron because after a long day he doesn't feel like sleeping and the sweet, self sacrificing idiot that i am, i am there without thinking of the millions of things that awaits me the next morning. so while i struggle with less sleep and fatigue, my stupid moron; Samik sleeps his full quota of sleep and calls me just when my prof walks into the class room. so now at least i get to sleep more. phew!

• BLOG- i have Internet from 8pm-8am as most know.. i know i know it sucks but works fine for me :) so after studying i manage to be online after 9, then replying to mails etc and just when i sit for blogging, yes the moron puts up an appearance. and he gets irritated because i can multitask, chat blog and talk to him that is. and he cribs for attention. so most often i have to abandon my friends and the beautiful conversations I'm invariably having just to attend to the cry baby. so now you know why i haven't been attentive and been commenting frequently.. marooo usse aur maroo... not me.. but Samik :D :P

• STUDIES- i really have a terrible time studying because every time i sit to study, i get his call as he is on a break. not that i don't love it, i do. but leaving aside whatever I'm studying i attend his call. sometimes it hinders if I'm teaching my student or I'm commuting back home. so at least on that front i get some respite :)

• PEACE & QUITE- now i get to attend my classes without having to sms in between. or even try and sneak in calls here and there in between two classes. things will be a lot calm that way.

• REVENGE- most importantly i ll be able to take revenge from Samik for belittling my hectic schedules. not just that, he doesn't give me attention, and takes things for granted, and has huge expectations and doesn't appreciate me for the things i do for him or that fact that i go out of my way to adjust and accommodate him. now since he will have the day time all to himself with nothing much to do. i ll be the busy bee not giving him any attention at all.. whoohoo what fun!!

And now for some worthy good nights sleep..cheerio people.. sweet dreams :D :)

PS- people i need a new template... please help :)

Boulevard of Broken Dreams

I've been really lousy the last few days in blogging. don't ask me why but I'm not in my usual element of late and i didn't want to let my gloomy state of mind to effect my blog and all the beautiful people who read it. it isn't a nice feeling when you read a blog and all you get are really negative vibe. so till i am a little sorted out, do be patient.

We all grow up with dreams. dreams that someday we hope to turn to reality. little do we know that reality is rather harsh, and that in reality if you are really fortunate then your dreams come true. most often than not, dreams die under the tremendous wrath of destiny. it hurts when you see that world you had envisioned crumble down right when you had expected it to stand the tests of time. the earth shattering feeling of a lost dream, ends the last illusion of innocence. that's when you know its time to grow up. yes I'm coming to terms with my broken dreams, dreams which i was confident of turning into my reality. i guess I'm among those whose dreams remain a dream. yea it pains me much now, but someday i hope i can look back and say maybe what happened, was for my good after all. now please don't tell me to have faith etc, it is true i know but at a moment like this I'm hardly in a state to comfort myself with these things. maybe someday i will understand but for now. id rather it the way it is. coming to terms with a broken dreams is a helluva task but I'm trying... and will continue to do so until i succeed.