C'est la vie

Your perfume clinging to me

Long after you are gone..

You are the love that defines my kohled eyes

Smudged with sleep and ardent lovemaking

You are the reason, smile adorns my lips

Swollen with passion of hungry kisses.

Yours are love marks on my neck
 That brand me as yours
Yours are the fingers laced in mine
As passion takes us higher.
Your is the arms that holds me tight
As night makes way for a new day.
Yours are the kisses I wake up to
Yours is the smile I trip over, time and again.
Yours is the last thought,
as sleep takes over.

Yours is the voice that brightens up my day
and brings back the much need peace.
Yours is the hug I melt into
And find my sanity.
Yours is the touch that makes me come alive
And fills me with a sense of belonging.

You are mine, just the way I am yours,
the only way hearts filled with love can..

Today, tomorrow and always.
 

Happy Valentine's Day Love!

Make him feel

Dear God

Make him feel the same things as she does

Let him feel the anguish

Of loving someone

Yet know the pain of sharing her

Let him feel torn inside

Each time he imagines

Her smiling at someone

The same way as she used to at him.

Hands touching her, which are not his.

Make him miss her

So much that it hurts

Even when she is right there beside him

Just the way she misses him

Everyday.

Let him wake up each day

Hurting, knowing that,

It may be their last day together.

The same way as she does.

Day in, day out.

Let him drift off to sleep

Knowing that tomorrow

She will lie in the loving arms

Of the one who will truly values her.

Let him cringe in pain.

Let him reminisce

Old times of fun and laughter

And wince in pain

Knowing that those days are now replaced

With someone who loves and cherishes her.

Let the pain

Be a constant reminder of

All those times when she reached out

And he had scorned her.

Let him feel the rejection too.

Let him feel her absence

Realizing her source of joy

Is no longer him

She smiles but at someone

who is not him.

Let him burn

Imagining her nursing

A child, who is not his

Let him seek salvation

But never find it

For he had wronged her.

For all those times he had wronged her,

Let him feel the rejection

And realize how unworthy he was of her love

Every time he saw her happy

In the arms of the man who truly loves her

Let him feel the loss

Let him feel the pain

Let him burn inside

Let him realize the wrongs

he had subjected her to

Let him value her

For all that she was

Knowing that he has lost her forever

Avenge her hurt and pain

And make her whole again!

A lot like Love

I don’t need fancy gifts

Need no promises of a tomorrow

I need no declaration that you’re mine!

Or I’m yours! 

Just the knowledge that you are there!

Every morning when I wake up

Your sleeping form fills me with love

Your smile brightens my day

As I kiss you awake,

I know my prayers are answered!

I feel your arms holding me close

Your grip never loosening even as you sleep

I turn and you snuggle closer to me

You whisper you love me

And I know I'm blessed!

We fight bad, you don’t talk to me

Tears stream down my face

You smile, and world is better

Once again!

Just because you are there!

The first kiss in the morning

The teasing smile and the naughty looks

Those long conversations..

Those little things you do

Makes me come closer to you...

Your possessive touch

Your affectionate ways

Your friendly jibes

Makes me feel alive

And so much more in love with you!

No hopes for tomorrow

No pains, no tears for now... only love reigns

Because today will last a lifetime!

My best friend, my love, 

You make my life worthwhile!

Each day is Valentines Day

Because you are near

Each night is a blessing

Each morning is a prayer answered!

Today, tomorrow and always!

~Happy Valentines Day~

Wish things were different....

Wish I could send you my tears
Wish I tell you my fears

Wish I could let you know how I feel
Wish I could have you near

Dont know if you want to believe
Or if you care anymore?

But know that i miss you
I miss us
Miss what we used to be

Miss seeing you smile
Miss your hands laced in mine

The evenings spent laughing
Your hugs filling me with warmth

The wind on our face
Our smiles reflecting in our eyes

Where are you?
Will you not be around anymore?
Is it so hard for you to keep in touch?
Or you dont need me anymore?

I guess I wouldnt know..
I wont beg, I wont plead
Maybe this is how it is meant to be.

Now that you're gone...

Everyone said it, I refused to believe
But now i realized
Its true, I miss you

There is a longing in my heart
Memories tug painfully
My hand reaches out to you, I know I miss you

A lot of time has gone by
And i know i have wronged you
I realize now, how much i miss you

Is it love? I dont really know
I ask myself but i havent got a clue,
but i guess its true, I miss you

A million wrongs, the guilt of breaking your heart
The longing to hear your voice
Makes me miss you more, and tears me apart

Is it you? Are you there somewhere?
Or gone forever? Whatever next...
I hope you know how much i miss you.

Missing You

I turn in for the night

the shadows flikr on the walls

I long for your arms to hold me close

Your breath on my nape..

I snuggle up to you pillow

The whiff of your perfume intoxicates me

Memories makes the heart lurch in pain

The empty bed and vacant pillow reminds me of you again!

                                                                The day refuse to pass

Seconds feel like hours

Nothing feels the same any more,

Just the longing intensifies and makes me yours again

Just a glimpse of your smile

Your lashes kissing your cheeks

Eyes glittering with love

Makes me trip and fall in love all over again!

It is all wrong,

then why does it feel right?

Its transient, it was destined to be so

but why does it seem that it will last forever!

Questions remain
Answers illude us
Then why does love bind us closer still?
Love, has kept us together
With every new day, i love you all over again!

Haunted Thoughts

Reality raises its ugly head

from time to time

reminding me of its presence

the heart is ripped apart

the agony of it kills me

shred by shred

slowly and painfully.

it mocks my futile efforts

to stall time

to live for the moment

to make peace with what i have

and what is and never will be

Why is it so painful?

when even i know it will never last..

Desire

kiss me
touch me..
take me higher

brand me
love me..
be my desire

hold me
mould me
take me to completion..

caress me
take me
make me yours..

Anguished Soul

I strive each day

To be there

To make life

So much better for you!

I toil hard

To bring a smile

To make you feel loved

To make life easier for you!

I fight with myself

To put you before me

To selflessly give

To make life comfortable, just for you!

I chide myself

To be perfect

To do things

Just to please you!

Few words of appreciation

A smile for reward

An approving look

Is all that I desire!

I love, I cry

I give, I die

Some more each day,

When no matter what I do

I am unable to be

What you want me to be.

I hate, I loath

I rebuke, I blame

Myself, for not being good enough

For my gestures leave no imprint

My love goes unnoticed

Even my efforts go waste!

Tears have long since dried

Leaving behind a soggy stain

Heart is pained

Knife twists in my gut.

Not being good enough is such a bane!

You are on my mind..

I want to say I love you

I want to say I care

I want to do a whole lot more

But I don’t know if you’d care

Sometimes pain is all that I can feel

Where love fails to elicit a reaction

Nothing makes sense..

Something’s in life will always elude me

Acceptance has come through

They why does the heart still sway?

What hurts the most

Is having it all

But nothing that will last..

Sometimes I wonder why

I endure it all

Why I cant put myself out of this?

Not being there

Is not an option

Never has been. Never will

So the agony will continue

Love will live

As long as I will..

If Only...

If only i had known
that out there.. somewhere
You were as lonely as I was
I would have found you and hugged you
For in the warmth of that hug
I would have felt a shared loneliness melt away...

If only I had known
as i sat on the station railings
looking at the stars...my only friends for the night
that out there...somewhere
you would be watching the same stars
I would have felt comforted
by our common space
in a shared emptiness

If only I had known
that some day I would find you
the long days of nothingness
would not have been so tough
and like a prisoner of time
I would have struck each day off gleefully
from my quota of solitude

If only I had known
that out there...somewhere
you needed a shoulder to cry your heart out on
I would have lent you mine
for in your tears somehow
I would have felt my sorrows flowing away

If only I had known
that the demons tormenting me everynight
were the same that were making the going tough for you
I would have put up a stronger fight
for out there...somewhere
you would be fighting them too

If only there were second chances.... 

This is poem is written by someone really close to me, someone special; so it definitely means much to me. I thought of sharing this with you, knowing that you will appreciate it as much as I do and in the exact vein it was written...

I will be gone someday...

Just when you think you have figured me,

Know at that very moment you are

Farthest from the truth.

Fool you are to think

You can fathom the depths of my soul,

Words can give you an inkling of what is

The reality lies shrouded within.

Love that teaches you to selflessly give,

Love that makes you break down time and time again.

It also empowers you to rise again..

Love will make me stronger than ever

To someday walk away…

From you, from everything that was ours,

But will the pain end?

Lofty thoughts can just make life seem bearable

But truth is what is never to be

Is there for a cause

And to serve the cause is what I intend!

The day the heart gives up

Know that, I will be gone

Yes I will be gone, someday

Without a trace

And I will usurp you of me!

None of my writings will remain

Nothing to link you to me

But memories.. but they too will be gone

Just like I will someday

And that day you will think

You know not who I have been

And you will be farthest from the truth

And the truth will always elude you.
I will be gone someday.

 Gone without a trace

Somewhere, where you will never find me...

Yes I will be gone someday

And you will never know the real me,
Or the love that i harbor within...

Pain penetrates me drop by drop

Darkness envelopes me
Tears glisten

Threatening to fall

Pain makes it hard to breathe

I have tried to

Muffle the sounds of memories

I have blocked the visions of us

From  putting up an appearance

But who will silence the heart

That so full of love

So consumed by your presence

That it has forgotten the reality

Like a moth drawn to fire

I felt drawn to you

I knew the end was near

But it never deterred me from you

No promises given

No promises sought

Present was all we had

And it was all we needed

Then why does the heart

Wince painfully

Why does the voice of reason

Not see what the heart feels

Why does tomorrow

Promise only of a dreary life

Devoid of love and happiness?

Devoid of you?

Some are meant to meet

To fall in love and then to part.

We were destined

A no different tomorrow.

It is but a matter of time

When the dreams will be shattered

Where our castle of love

Will be destroyed

And I will trudge along

Alone, as I have always been

Bearing my cross

In hopes of finding peace.

You ignite the fire in me
The desire to take on the world
To fight against all odds
To smile at adversity
That is our reality

You fill me with so much love
That I know I can survive
The world is still a better place to live
That love is not lost
I can because you want me to

You instill a sense of pride
I know I am worth it
That world will judge me
But I will still be me
Because I know I am loved by you.

You have become the reason
Why I smile
Let the tears dry
Let my heart feel alive
Life is beautiful
Because I know I'm loved by you.

Your thoughts

I feel a sense of love.

Of belonging

Take over…

I feel you near

Yours is the last thought

That adorns my lashes before

I drift off to sleep

Yours is the thought

That brightens my day

Nothing seems dull anymore

Loneliness envelopes me

Solitude my steady companion

But never for once does your thoughts

Bring with it regrets

Life will never be the same

Without you

For we were always

Destined to live life apart.

But it does not bother the heart

For it knows that you are

Safely cocooned in my thoughts

Buried in the very existence of my being

It is there, you are mine

Mine alone.

I have made peace with the god

Who cannot grant me you

I know that no matter what

You are there

Its as if I can feel you near

I close my eyes to find you here

Hugging me close

Whispering sweet nothings

Life seems a bliss

As tears bring with it

A jolt back to reality

Reality is that we were never meant to be

The love that we still share

Can never be granted

The bonds can never last

Letting go I will have to someday

Not now…

Memories are all that I have

Memories are all I can ever have

In my memories you are mine

Mine alone

And memories will last me a lifetime…

Of Memories of Bygone Times...

I sip coffee from the same mug
That would kiss your lips once
I let my mind take me away
To a lost time …
A time when every morning was
Filled with laughter and so much love
That unhappiness was forgotten
Reality lurked in the shadows
Seeking an apt moment to strike
We lived like there was no tomorrow..
Tomorrow lay shrouded in oblivion
Then it happened
Just the way we knew it would.

Then why does the heart not relent,
Hurting, pining for You
Despite knowing the consequences
Why does the pain magnify with each passing day!
Despite knowing that the end is inevitable
Why do I surrender to the torture of today?
The heart bleeds,
But it loves some more, each day!

Some star crossed lovers we were,
Instead of promising a lifetime of togetherness
We prepared each other for a lifetime of solitude
A life that could and would never have ‘us’
A life that would be barren,
Without the loving touches
Without loved one to wake up to
A life that would be devoid of
Smiles and the laughter that was ours.
Ours alone…
Devoid of your hands
Laced into mine..
Your smell clinging to my skin
Your touches branding me.

I knew it would be like
How it is now.
But the tears run down, incessantly
When the guard is down
And loneliness creeps in.
The heart longs for you
Just a glimpse of that smile
That caresses your lips
The twinkle in your eyes
As your face lightens up.
Those days are long since gone
Like you had warned me
It would
But the longing remains rampant
Memories of 'us' my only companion.

Vortex of desire

Your thoughts intoxicate me
Pushing me into a dreamless haze
The caresses leaving behind
A burning trail
Sensations coursing through
Making me aware of the
Sheer power of the need
Churning a deep seated desire
Desire to be loved, to be craved
To be taken and to be liberated
More than which to belong.
Your touches linger
taking me higher
Plunging me deeper into
the sensations that overpower me.
And I'm lost
Lost in you.
The love in your eyes
reflects in the gentlest
of touches.
The huskiness in your voice
is like the vortex of passion
Drawing me closer and closer
I surrender.
I surrender to you
I surrender to the love
That brought us closer
Uniting us one
Just you and me
Defying the rules of the world.

Thoughts make it hard to breathe
I feel myself free falling
into the vortex of despair
deeper and deeper
into nothingness
Pain tearing me apart.

Happier times are like a mirage
they disappear as i reach out
Unanswered questions gnaws at my soul
Why me? I ask myself
i hear muted sobs,mine in return
As loneliness stares backs..

How long must I carry on the charade?
how long will the ordeal continue?
how long before relief comes through?
Uncertainties are rampant
Peace still eludes me,
Long road ahead before I can repose.

A glimmer of hope is barely visible

the storm raging within me
threatens to engulf my sanity
I know not what lies ahead..
I know not when this journey ends
and when the new one begins...

Memories are at war
hurling unwanted thoughts at me
I know i must retrace my steps
I know my quest for moksha must continue
the hunt for peace making me restless
I know one day i will have to let go....
But vacillation comes easy to me
how long before end comes along?

In the most darkest hour of despair,
Is born a hope.
A hope for things to be resolved.
Heart anguished for the one it loves;
Turns to the one it seeks,
desperately.
In tears, and grief,
Thoughts disappears,
What remains is love;
Unchallenged and much craved.
In the battle of life, eventually,
Love triumphs.