What is Morality to You?!

What is morality to you? Is it something that your parents taught you or something that the society imposed? What really is morality?

Wikipedia states that "Morality (from the Latin moralitas "manner, character, proper behavior") is the differentiation of intentions, decisions, and actions between those that are good (or right) and those that are bad (or wrong)."

So who decides what is wrong and what is right?? Is it our conscience or do our friends, family, society, workplace, peer group who decides for us? What is morality to you? 

 I am what I want to be. The world doesn't decide that for me.

Morality, and this is my personal view only, is the inherent feeling governed by a sense of right and wrong and differs from individual to individual. I don't allow people to govern my life, and what is moral to me may not be the same for you. Let us agree to disagree. After all isnt this a democratic world?

 Let us Agree to Disagree

Lets say your ideas of morality does not match mine? What do you do? Will you judge me? Will you tag me branding me "whore" "slut" or hurl any other obscenities at me? 



How do you call a person a slut? Let me guess, a person who sleeps around without any qualms about emotional entanglements, the person who one sleeps with changes with the change in season and sometimes faster than that and is often what we mean when we call a slut right? Then how is a slut different from a person who hops from a person to another, sleeps around with abandon and moves on not caring about the person left behind or the travails she/he goes through? Or does sleeping around for monetary benifit or for that promotion or extra favors that brands a person a slut? Would you consider a girl falling in love with say a married man and submitting herself completely to him, but moving away realizing the enormity of the situation not wanting to complicate things. So what comprises morality? Sleeping with people for the right reasons or sleeping with the right people?

Have opinions, let others have the space to have theirs

If you ask me, people have their own opinions, all of them are right, to each his own. But the point here is to not judge someone not knowing what made their situation is. You can only judge a person if you are his/her shoes. No two fingers in our hand is the same, how we react to a situation is different, depending upon the kind of person we are. We have a right to do what we want to our life but we donot have a right to judge or question the morality of another person. And if we dare to judge another soul, then we need to make sure we donot have have skeletons in our closet to be judged back as well. Spare a thought to the quote below and tell me What is Morality to you?

Don't judge me till you walk a mile in my shoes or live a day in my life.

I miss you a little

Has it ever happened to you, that you give your everything for a relationship or even a friendship and then you realize at a point how useless it all was? I know expectation is a bitch.. and you should never expect if you choose to be there for someone. I beg to differ, if you are a stranger to me, I will not expect anything from you. But if you are someone I consider close I will have basic exception from you, such as I will expect you to be polite and keep up the correspondence in an amicable manner.

Of late, I have lost almost every one of the handful of close friend I had. I have felt disconnected and let down by how they have been. While I donot judge them for their reasons for the fall out I do feel a sense of sadness at the void they have left behind... I do understand that there will be a time when you can cease to be close friends, or lovers but what happens to the friendship that was the foundation of the relationship? What happens to all those beautiful memories you both have made together? How can you walk away without a goodbye? How can you not try to make up? How can you give up on a friend who used to mean something to you? Its unpardonable if you ask me. While you cant do anything about it, you surely can cut these people out and try to move on and not hurt endlessly. Its better to have one true friend than to have tons of people you consider as friends, but who walk away the moment you need them the most. Heartache like these should be avoided at any cost. No one deserves your precious tears, because the one who loves you will never want to make you cry.

I am hurt today, but someday the pain will fade away. Someday I will have better judgement of a person's character, and I will make better friends. Till then, memories will remain...

I had come across this song called " I Miss You a Little" by John Michael Montgomery.. I love the song for the beautiful meaningful lyrics that has touched my heart time and again... nothing expresses my feelings better than this one. Attached is the lyrics if you want to sing along.. hope you enjoy it! :)

Sometimes a song can touch a nerve
That takes me back to you
When I pick up my old guitar
And I play your favorite tune

Every now and then, some little thing
I've buried comes bubblin' up
And once in a while, you feel close enough to touch

I miss you a little since you've been gone
A few little memories keep hangin' on
I miss you a little, I guess you could say
A little too much, a little too often
A little more every day

When I go by our old house
I pretend that you're still there
Waitin' for me on the porch
But there's just an empty chair

Wish I could see you just one more time
Before I drive away
So I could stop and go inside, and say

I miss you a little since you've been gone
A few little memories keep hangin' on
I miss you a little, I guess you could say
A little too much, a little too often

A little more every day
A little too much, a little too often
A little more every day

Learning to let go..

Sometimes we come across a song that defines what we are going through in more ways than one...this is just one of those... its a beautiful song... it reflects the situation I'm in, more than the emotions. A relationship ends, you learn so much, more about yourself. Instead of fighting the pain the emotions ripping you apart, embracing the pain, making peace with it makes you realize that you have earned much more than you have ever lost. 

Sometimes its best it ended when it did, because it would be more painful if it continued. Sometimes you are just happy because he is where he belongs. No you dont want someone like him, he was unique, irreplaceable and will always be. Probably all you wish is that someday you learn to make peace, learn to let go of the pain and smile without flinching. You realize that love will live on, in its special way, in you, in your very existence. You will know it was good while it lasted. And that you had kept the promise to be brave, to let go without a fight when it was time to say goodbye. You will finally find being happy because he is happy and then with time, your will find new reasons to smile, to trust someone with your heart again...

Hope you enjoy the song...

Someone Like You

I heard that you're settled down

That you found a girl and you're married now.

I heard that your dreams came true.

Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you.

Old friend, why are you so shy?

Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light.

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited

But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.

I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded

That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you

I wish nothing but the best for you too

Don't forget me, I beg

I remember you said,

"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,

Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead, "

Yeah

You know how the time flies

Only yesterday was the time of our lives

We were born and raised

In a summer haze

Bound by the surprise of our glory days

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited

But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.

I'd hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded

That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you

I wish nothing but the best for you too

Don't forget me, I beg

I remember you said,

"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."

Yeah

Nothing compares

No worries or cares

Regrets and mistakes

They are memories made.

Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Never mind, I'll find someone like you

I wish nothing but the best for you

Don't forget me, I beg

I remember you said,

"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."

Never mind, I'll find someone like you

I wish nothing but the best for you too

Don't forget me, I beg

I remember you said,

"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,

Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."

Yeah 

Happy Birthday Samik

Dear Samik...

I know I should have mailed, or found a way to wish you in person instead of putting out a post here. But considering how you wanted to end this, id restrict my thoughts to a private trusted corner of my being, just the way it is meant to be.

No its not all gone for me. I still feel for you and I just dont know how not to. Its been two years since we broke up, we have been in relationships since then. We somehow have managed to remain connected until recently.I always believed, that the kind of love we shared was unique, childlike, where we will always find our way back to each other, knowing that no matter what form our relationship takes, it is for keeps. It is not, i know now. I have conditioned my mind not to think of you, of how our life has been. I forced my mind to block you away. I constantly find myself angry at you, for not choosing to be around. I keep questioning the love you claim to have for me. I reason, that if you still claim to love me, then you would be around. I wish for a millionth time that you were around, because I love and miss you in my own way. I somehow feel that if you are there I will survive life and the mess I am in. But then I realize how selfish I am. I am sorry. I understand that you are not around and you wont be now on. I am not okay about it, but with time I will be.

I know what you have been through when I walked away, but I just want you to know that I tried my best. It didnt work out, I am sorry. But despite being committed to someone whom I consider my great love, i  never gave up on you. I thought you would do the same. Today two years have gone by, but you are important to me, just as you were once, the love has assumed a new form, but I have not been able to give up on those millions of memories we made together, the feeling of belonging to someone, the dreams of living a lifetime together.. these feelings have eluded me ever since we fell apart..

I know I am messed up, I am chasing an illusion. I have lost everything I had. But somewhere down the line I am happy for you, happy that you had the courage to end this, I would never have been able to do it. I'm glad that you choose a happy life for you sans any complications, as a friend nothing makes me more happy. I wish we dint have to fade into oblivion, i wish you were still around, there to hold me as the world shattered, but I know it would be wrong to ask that of you now.

I dint reach out because I know you want it that way. When you don't receive any communication from me, I know you will think I have moved on, that I don't care, but I do. More than you will know, more than I will ever be able to tell you. Just know today tomorrow, always, you will be there in my thoughts and prayers and I will be there somewhere hoping nothing but the best for you.

Happy Birthday GGCC

I love you, I always have and I always will in my crazy way,

P

Jennifer Aniston: Famous Quotes Tag

Saw this tag on Ria's Blog and wanted to take it up for fun... 

1. “A relationship isn't going to make me survive. It's the cherry on top.” 

What part of your life do you consider “the cherry on the top”?

To have loved with my very being and that there are no regrets.

2. “I almost resent the whole fashion thing. Good God - never wearing the same thing twice and all of those things. It's a pain in the ass.” 

How much does fashion impact your life?

I wear what I feel comfortable in. My clothes are an extension of who I am.

3. “I've gone for each type: the rough guy; the nerdy, sweet, lovable guy; and the slick guy. I don't really have a type. Men in general are a good thing.” 

What’s your type?

My type is the rough and lovable guy rolled into one. A guy who holds his own and yet is loving and affectionate.

4. “Once you figure out who you are and what you love about yourself, I think it all kinda falls into place.” 

Do you still learn new things about yourself?

Yes, every day. I dont think i really know who i am as i am constantly evolving.

5. “The greater your capacity to love, the greater your capacity to feel the pain.” 

Have you ever had your heart broken? If yes, how did you get over it?

Its all about telling your self, that it is okay to be hurting, to break down time and again but what is most important is to remind you that you have to get up and keep walking.

6. “There are no regrets in life, just lessons.” 

What is the most recent “life lesson” that you have figured out?

Never let your emotions rule your life, strike a balance between your head and heart.

7. “ Try to really follow what it is that you want to do and what your heart is telling you to do.” 

Have you ever gone against what your heart told you to do?

Well I have followed my heart, got my heart broken but i realized I'd rather get my heart broken then miss out on some good experience.

8. “The ultimate is finding a place where you have no inhibitions, nothing to hide, where you can learn with one another.” 

Do you have any inhibitions when you are in love with someone?

With the person i love i have never had any inhibitions because i believe in giving 100% to the person i am committed to.

9. “Life can be dramatic and funny all in the same day!” 

What is something that happened recently in your life that you found extremely funny?

Isnt it funny how we choose to be in certain situations and then cry and fret over it... Happens with me all the time.

10. “The first time I kissed Brad my knees went weak - I literally lost my breath!” 

Have you ever kissed someone and your knees went weak?

Happens with me all the time... each and every kiss..whether it is a goodbye kiss before you leave for work, for a sneaky kiss or that long kiss which celebrate a moment.

So I had a ball writing this one... Take it up if you enjoyed reading this... 

Beginning to an end... and another beginning?!!

Over the last couple of years I have tried to make this place what it used to be at one time. A happy place, a place to express my creativity, share my joys, express what I am going through. But somewhere down the line I have realized with time I have evolved, so has my life. I am not who I used to be. Most often I have found myself turning to this place time and again to write, to scribble; I could never really give up. Its been 6 years... and I keep finding my way back, I guess what I was actually doing was holding on to that part of me which was happy, sorted and a lot saner.

I am about to enter of the most life changing phases of my life. The impending darkness makes it hard to breathe but I knew it would be there all along.. I knew that this day will come so maybe that is why there was no surprise, the pain never got reflected in my expression, the way I carried myself or the things I did. I know this is where the real struggle in life begins, when I will watch people whom I have loved with my life walk away from me leaving behind a void...

The journey ahead will be dark, unhappy and marred with immense pain and if I can bring myself up to expressing, this place will probably the only place where I will confide my feelings. I dont expect you to be sympathetic, I dont expect you to read me, and I will be fine if you choose to distance yourself from the negativity. Goes without saying that I would appreciate if you are around, just there reading me, it would mean that I made sense to at least someone.... I wont answer questions as to what went wrong, I wont explain but I will be there... so make your exit while you still can... and if you choose to stay...I'd really value that..more than what words can say.

I’m Fine

Is it necessary to be happy at all times? Can there not be a phase where you are neither happy nor sad but just existing? I agree,while it may not be the ideal situation to be in. But then ideal is a myth. So, I have been given to writing or penning down my thoughts in this blog when despair and hurt strikes me the most as I find writing is the best way to cope with it. But like everything it’s a phase, and I am fine.

A Gentleman the other day hopped onto this blog and feasted on the contents like a vulture feeds on the dead. The instant conclusion that the stalker came to was that, here is this girl who is pained and is carrying around a lot of grief and if I am sympathetic then she would eventually go out with me. Notice the reference here is the word “stalker”. Well I know how it appears to most of who read me but this is just to let you know, I may cry, may break down but I dust myself and keep walking, like any other person. I stumble, I fall, I keep walking on… and I am fine! At the end of the day, I don't crave for company, I don't feel the need to share, I am proud of being where I am today and  I appreciate the journey that got me here… I am fine. 

It is always good to have someone to love, but I have had my share of it and I know I don't want it anymore, I am fine just the way I am. I have made mistakes in life but I have learned to live with it. And in the end, I value the lessons learnt along in the way.. I learnt and I learnt it the hard way, but I have no regrets and I am fine!

Even though its not as frequent as before, but I still smile at kids, I laugh at jokes, I try and have a good time and I am fine. I read a lot, I am always hooked onto music, I go for walks, cook something new now and then. I pamper myself, go out with friends, I keep in touch with loved ones and do things that make me truly happy, and I am genuinely fine.

My blog is just a platform to express and not all are expressions that come from experience, but some are essentially a thought often inspired from life and is meant to be consumed in a literary way. You can judge the writer behind these posts. But if I was a frequent reader here, who knew me, I’d know that the person who writes this has enough spunk to survive hardships and trudge along. For those who are here just to know more about Phoenix, I am fine, and I don’t need your pity or your efforts to give me a better life.  

I'm fine are you?

Make him feel

Dear God

Make him feel the same things as she does

Let him feel the anguish

Of loving someone

Yet know the pain of sharing her

Let him feel torn inside

Each time he imagines

Her smiling at someone

The same way as she used to at him.

Hands touching her, which are not his.

Make him miss her

So much that it hurts

Even when she is right there beside him

Just the way she misses him

Everyday.

Let him wake up each day

Hurting, knowing that,

It may be their last day together.

The same way as she does.

Day in, day out.

Let him drift off to sleep

Knowing that tomorrow

She will lie in the loving arms

Of the one who will truly values her.

Let him cringe in pain.

Let him reminisce

Old times of fun and laughter

And wince in pain

Knowing that those days are now replaced

With someone who loves and cherishes her.

Let the pain

Be a constant reminder of

All those times when she reached out

And he had scorned her.

Let him feel the rejection too.

Let him feel her absence

Realizing her source of joy

Is no longer him

She smiles but at someone

who is not him.

Let him burn

Imagining her nursing

A child, who is not his

Let him seek salvation

But never find it

For he had wronged her.

For all those times he had wronged her,

Let him feel the rejection

And realize how unworthy he was of her love

Every time he saw her happy

In the arms of the man who truly loves her

Let him feel the loss

Let him feel the pain

Let him burn inside

Let him realize the wrongs

he had subjected her to

Let him value her

For all that she was

Knowing that he has lost her forever

Avenge her hurt and pain

And make her whole again!

Echoes...

I look out at the city skyline stretched out in front of me. Tall buildings...twinkling lights...flights taking off or touching down nearby... cars below zip by...I look up at the moon.. the moon which is a steady companion...Soon it will be time to go home... to you. Thoughts reoccur and I am reminded of a lost time. An evening like today, except in a different place: after a hard day at work, I would stand drinking a cup of coffee staring at the moon, wondering how the sky, the stars and the moon were the only link that connected me to you, across the distance that stood between us. I used to wonder if my thought brought a smile on your face like before, if your eyes still twinkled when you smiled, those creases forming making you look even more endearing.... Tears would fill my eyes and a dull ache would spread all over me, numbing me. The thought that I may never set my eyes on you, that I’d probably always long and ache for you.. made me despair about love. That day, I never conceived that there would be a day when I’d wake up beside you, and fall asleep in your arms; and yet feel incomplete.

I observe quietly, I cry silent tears, I hope against hope, that we could make this moment count... I suffer, I take in the pain... looking beyond the troubles in fear of tomorrow that will not see us together, again. I hope you would notice how beneath the seeming calmness, there is a raging storm within. That, smiles often masquerade the anguish within. I see the disapproving look in your eyes, the harshness in your rebuke, and the stiffness in your gait  and I feel my insides cringe in pain. I know there will be a tomorrow, when there will be a ‘you’ and there will be a ‘me’ but ‘us’ will have to die... that day I’d lose everything, yet I will not be entitled to breaking down or to mourn. I’d have to take things in my stride.. I’d have to swallow the tears, bear the pain that would turn my insides out...while you will carry on with your life, just the way you had warned me you would, without so much as a thought about me. That day I would have to learn to live my life again and even though dull, the pain of having lost 'us' shall remain; forever.

That day I will wonder, which was better knowing that you were mine and out there somewhere but we can never be together or that we were together but that you were never mine...

A lot like Love

I don’t need fancy gifts

Need no promises of a tomorrow

I need no declaration that you’re mine!

Or I’m yours! 

Just the knowledge that you are there!

Every morning when I wake up

Your sleeping form fills me with love

Your smile brightens my day

As I kiss you awake,

I know my prayers are answered!

I feel your arms holding me close

Your grip never loosening even as you sleep

I turn and you snuggle closer to me

You whisper you love me

And I know I'm blessed!

We fight bad, you don’t talk to me

Tears stream down my face

You smile, and world is better

Once again!

Just because you are there!

The first kiss in the morning

The teasing smile and the naughty looks

Those long conversations..

Those little things you do

Makes me come closer to you...

Your possessive touch

Your affectionate ways

Your friendly jibes

Makes me feel alive

And so much more in love with you!

No hopes for tomorrow

No pains, no tears for now... only love reigns

Because today will last a lifetime!

My best friend, my love, 

You make my life worthwhile!

Each day is Valentines Day

Because you are near

Each night is a blessing

Each morning is a prayer answered!

Today, tomorrow and always!

~Happy Valentines Day~