Parent-Child Equation

parenting has undergone a sea change than what it was just a few generations back....here having kids is termed as planning kids...where couple analyze their careers,financial abilities and emotional capacity to provide kids and then they "plan babies"......

earlier within a year of marriage family and relatives would urge and pressurize couples to have kids or even at least think of having kids...then having kids was more like filling in the social need to complete the family...it had nothing to do with celebrating a new life..the first kid initiates this social process and the second becomes the playmate of the former and also completes the family....but now the scenario has undergone a drastic change....the young and ambitious fullfill their their desire to start a family only after their other interests are fulfilled....and to me i think this is the best way..despite the absurd idea to actually plan a family,as others opine...at least today's parents are devoted in all respects to kids...they are aware of the responsibility that they are taking on in life...

arguably earlier the parents gave in heritage to the kids,a good value system...but despite the materialistic world as it now is,the parents now give the emotional aid to the kids that previously parents lacked...parents are the providers of the children but the needs of the kids are not limited to just material things like money for school,college,tuition,pocket money,clothes and other necessities...parents in quest to be ideal for their kids establish themselves as staunch authority rather than bringing themselves to be friends with the kids..not being a parent myself it wrong for my part to judge parents but as a child i can say...if you cant give your all..be it financially or emotionally then dont have kids...but when you find yourself unable to do so why put your child to any inconvenience....world thrives on money agreed..just providing materials for survival is not enough the emotional bonding with kids is required too...just because we are reared a particular way,does that mean that we should subject our kids to that?there are many unfortunate who dont have kids of their own...i say its better of being that way than be bad parents or being unable to be the ultimate shelter for your kids...

i have heard my friends complaining....one of them says...my folks force me to fend for myself before graduation,[that too i took a stream they picked out for me and not from my own choice] when they can very well afford my financial responsibilty..they choose to spend life luxuriously,indulging in things that they need not..instead i do a part time to earn my keep and they want a share of my salary [however meager it is]...the other friend says....just because i didn't go into engineering and i am excelling in english honours in a reputed college...my dad is subjecting me to utter humiliation in front of the plumber,mechanic people in our complex etc...why?because i choose to study what i loved and was good at...now i have to fund everything on my own,with zero assistance from my father.....another friend confesses that she too faces something similar and yet different...her dad is the most caring dad...he provides for her...it always here to pick and drop but then on an emotional level...he is just not there....he doesnt care for them...no family outing,no vacation no family time...she gets no emotional comfort in her parents who just take on the role of provider and nothing else....even her mother who has never been a friend to her.......

these are just a few examples of some problems we the kids face..these may not be huge issues..but neither are they trivial enough to be sidelined...its a matter that every parent to be,should consider before bringing a child to life..because later it compels the kids to wonder if they were just,a part of a social process to complete a family and their importance to their family is nothing but that.let not the children wonder,if parents are unable to take on responsibility of kids why have them in the first place....many will argue that their parents are not this way...all i ll say is that those who are not among the group undergoing what most do,are infact very lucky. for in everything situation,exception is truly the rule....

TAGGED!

hey people i have been tagged yet again and this time rajeev has done the honors!bear with me here i go....

7 Things I want to do in this lifetime:

1.i want to be a writer
2.i want to tour the world
3.go on Oprah Winfrey show
4.i want to own a sea facing apartment
5.i want to have kids :D
6.learn to play the guitar
7.have an enviable library and cd collection


7 Things I can do:

1.cook[i make amazing coffee]
2.i am good with kids
3.i can fix a fuse :D
4.i can swim,row and skate
5.read books 24*7 without a break!
6.stay awake for days altogether
7.manage any kind of situation and take responsibility


7 Things I can’t do:

1.play my guitar!
2.write using ornate language
3.put on make up like a pro!
4.tolerate snobs,liars and Hippocrates
5.show emotions blatantly like others can.
6.i can't sing even if i am paid to.
7.keep my closet in order


7 Things that attract me to other person:

1.intelligence
2.ability to strike up a conversation
3.being good with kids
4.courteous and responsible
5.broad minded outlook
6.mature and sensible
7.expressive


7 Things I say Most Often:

1.uff!ar parchina![i cant take it anymore]
2.what rubbish!
3.korbO NA[i wont do it]
4.shit!
5.yea...it happens
6.take life as it comes...
7.our doubts are traitors,it often makes us loose what we could have achieved,by fearing to attempt


7 people i want to take up this tag

1.cindy
2.rohit
3.ani
4.soohini
5.priyanka di
6.lisa
7.diviani

the big fat bollywood wedding

Speculation of former miss world and AB baby dating each other had tantalized the nation and made the crowd go berserk... "rumors" they denied...until early this year..the magnanimous Amitabh Bacchan himself confirmed to this royal engagement....since then news papers have been filled with the supposed dates of the grand wedding,the designers of the trousseau making the finery this famous couple...news channels carried guest lists as who is invited and who is not..media followed the patriarch of Bollywood as he toured the country warding off the evils of the planetary positions..subjecting the former miss world to ultimate humiliation,with several havans being held,sacrifices being given and generous donations being doled out..reason??Aishwarya is a mangalik....yes u heard it right...even in this 21st century people are that superstitious...and much more than these super stars can candidly admit.....

when i let my thoughts drift i am filled anger against the cruelty of the media...we always highlight how these celebs devise plans to hog the limelight to get that extra publicity but we often forget to think sympathetically from the prospective of these celebs who are denied a normal life because of who they are...and i am just going to highlight these ignored truths of our life....

wedding is the most important event in ones life...to add paparazzi and media trying their best to capture every moment and every expression..and then telecaste all over the nation...may sound all exciting and fun..but,when you think this situation from a celebs prospective you realize its ones worse nightmare come alive...what with ones most private and intimate moments being made public..where is the scope to savourthese precious moments of ones life?how awful is that? moreover,wanting a private wedding with just near and dear ones too becomes an offense..what with news channels putting hourly updates as to who is still not invited..and so and so ex-boy friend congratulates and so and so is ignored so as to get back...this is ludicrous.....isn't people entitled to their privacy,isn't it up to them whom they invite and whom not?whom to donate and whom not???who are we to dictate terms anyways.....

many say Ashwariya is too cold...she brings nothing but doom to the people she dates...i say i am not too fond of her but as a human being i must admit...it takes that special someone to make one react warmly...and certainly Abhishek Bacchan has done that and much more...the ice queen is no longer so..yes maybe ash is almost always is politically correct but do we have the right to judge her for that?her "no comments" stand and for that matter the fact that she never slings mud,bitches about co stars or even protests for the wrong that is written about her....so what its her decision...i think she is maintaining a dignified silence...way better than people who think they get away with whatever crap they write about her or the other actors who issue such moral hogwash they they will send the nuns running for the convent but in actuality they are just wannabe's wanting to make an impression....leaving aside the frivolities many green with envy will not admit but ash and abhi does look like a couple very much in love and quite made for each other and its time we all give up our negativity and wish the couple a happy married life!

phew!!

finally study leave has begun....and what a beginning!!...my aunts turned up all of a sudden for a night stay yesterday...and it was great fun...yesterdays "adda" session in college was quite entertaining..what with lazing around in BBC and then having coolfi and having our famous philosphical talks...schocking khyati with the MMS...heheh!poor girl...now i am planning to take 3-4 days off and get back to studying...loads to study and time is just running out...so its time to let my hair down,relax and get rejuvenated,to slog to finish of the semester exams with elaan...cheerio!

Subho Naboborsho

Wishing you and your family "subho naboborsho" [happy new year]

এই যে দেখো এসে গেলো
বাংলা নতুন সন,
আনন্দ আর হাসি গানে
ভরুক সবার মন।

নববর্ষের এই দিনে
বলতে আমি চাই,
সব দুঃখ ভুলে গিয়ে
চল এগিয়ে যাই।

বিষাদ আর চাই না মোরা
চাই যে কেবল হর্ষ,
বলে গেলাম সবার তরে
শুভ নববর্ষ।

Semester flashback 2

Hurray! This semester has officially come to an end. Its flashback time. Unlike last semester when I was literally moved to tears just thinking that we won’t have the same professors but this semester, its relief. It’s been a terrible 4 months. Studies were tougher than ever. Honestly I didn’t know what I was studying for…I answered randomly without knowing what I was writing was what was asked in the question! Somehow I have managed to scrape through….slogging never seemed to come to an end. Texts were too tough to comprehend….but I am glad somehow I have managed to hang on and not given up into despair!

I was very apprehensive to go back to college after the last semester…I was shattered and I dint want to face people…things weren’t right first week…but then slowly things fell into place…..I have evolved as a person…I did a lot of growing up to do…I finally broke the ice between a “Senior” and me. and after that I found a wonderful friend in her…so much for prejudices!

CLAI…brought with it loads of fun and enjoyment….it brought all of us close as a unit….we used to be in college from early morning till late into the night…it seemed that our department was having their own little marriage ceremony…everyone was busy. there was an excitement in the air….on the first day of CLAI our semester results came out…what an excitement! Thankfully I did well….managed to get a first class….Rohit made me proud... He topped our class…and someone else didn’t…the dinners and lunches sitting around chatting is something I’ll never forget, sharing this kind of time with friends hadn’t been possible before….

Salsa was born in the month of February and what a celebration it was….the several meeting with her…and finally holding her and cooing to her was something that brought back memories of my niece……

The study session in my house…the Herculean effort to study and understand “French hour” …..lazing around and finally getting back to studies…initially it looked more like a party than study session but then so many of us huddled together, cracking jokes and playing pranks while studying was fun!

Sanskriti! This was our first year to witness Ju fest! I must admit it turned out really well…being a part and attending to the so called “sanskriti committee” and knowing that sanskriti may not happen…budget crisis! No sponsors! All was a mess. More so political undertones… then a total detachment from everything. Sanskriti brought with it more bonding , more fun and more ways to be together and celebrate

What will always be memorable is the BBC sessions, after a grueling week…slumping down on the ground and just relaxing with friends… chatting, laughing singing songs and teasing each other and then drowning in the retrospection of life…and where it will lead us to…

Abhinandans house party….10 of us huddled in a small ac room…laughing away to glory! having fun like there is no tomorrow….coffee making sessions…and ultimately boozing and then getting drunk [not me, my friends]

Then came Elections! Rohit and Soura won the CR seats as against someone…and ah! Aren’t I happy! FAS won all over….and what a celebration it was! Moreover our friend Soura was the CR as well as AGS…it was a double celebration!

This semester Nimisha, Khyati Rohit and I we joined Italian classes….the first few words in Italian michiamo raka, come stai? bene grazie e tu?...it was whole lot fun…finding excuses not to attend classes…hogging sessions after the class…those chats near the gate…all will be memorable to me…..its been a joy ride learning Italian.

This semester we managed to shoo RC away for good. Subha di went away JNU and Swapan babu was no longer our professor! But he came in for 4 days. And took our classes to fill in for the other professors…though the study session was hectic [1 ½ hours in a row]…I realized that it was fun. and there is another side to him than what meets the eye….

Last two weeks were extremely exhausting! what with internals almost everyday…classes and then again extra classes and what with the strike and the DL being closed more problems…and now that finally the classes are over. no more internals and no more going to college…I am too fatigued to even feel bad that finally the sem is over…I know something…I am going to miss Debasree di a lot…somehow I haven taken a liking to her…and I ll miss having her around…

In two weeks the semester is coming up…I’ll take a break of 2-3 days, unwind and then again get back into studies….this semester is tough…so extra slogging is required….hopefully this time I study hard enough to maintain my first division. It seems just yesterday that we entered JU and in a blink of an eye a whole year went by…soon the new 1st years will troop in and we’ll be seniors! Yay! 2nd semester is finally over……….

Hillary Duff

okay people i love Hillary duff,i started to watch lizzie msguire and from then onwards i have watched all of hillary's movie and gradually i simply adore her...i came across Lizzie McGuire when my niece was watching Disney channel...just into the first episode i feel in love with her..Lizzie is a a common girl...no airs and graces to her...she is what she is!not the high school babe!she has the two best people as friends Gordon and Miranda...and together they lead a life less than perfect with Matt[Lizzy's brother]always up to some mischief or another...one can easily relate to Lizzy..not all are rich,famous and always in "vogue"...on the contrary Lizzy is firmly grounded...trying hard to maintain the status quo and trying to live up to the standards of the bitchy bitch Kate....despite being old enough to watch MTV i cant help being addicted to Disney channel...its a way i keep the inner child in me alive...whats surprising is my friends in college in college too watch disney!how cool is that!

here is a little insight to Hillary duff the much famed "LIZZIE"

Hillary Erhard Duff,the American pop princess is born September 28, 1987.After gaining fame for her starring role on the television show Lizzie McGuire, she went on to have a film career, and her most commercially successful pictures include Cheaper by the Dozen (2003), The Lizzie McGuire Movie (2003), and A Cinderella Story (2004). Duff has expanded her works into pop music,Hilary Duff was born in Houston, Texas, the second child of Bob Erhard Duff, owner of a chain of convenience stores, and Susan Colleen Cobb.Halie Katherine Duff,Hillary's sister participated in the ballet The Nutcracker Suite with Columbus Ballet Met in San Antonio,at the age of six.Her first major part was as the star of the 1998 film Casper Meets Wendy, playing the young witch, Wendy, who encounters the animated character Casper.Lizzie McGuire, which first aired on the Disney Channel in January 2001, was a ratings hit.Her first album was Santa Claus Lane (2002), a collection of Christmas songs which included duets with Lil' Romeo, Christina Milan, and her sister Halie. Also,"to The Santa Clause 2" and another song, "What Christmas Should Be" was used in Cheaper by the Dozen.Duff sang several tracks for the soundtrack to The Lizzie McGuire Movie, including "Why Not".Her next album was Metamorphosis (2003),in which she sang "So Yesterday,"Come Clean" and "Little Voice".

Exhausted!

Whatta week!with tests all around the week and the slogging that went behind it...the innumerable number of classes and extra classes...scores and scores of test and some more....piles and piles of xerox...sun scorching and almost killing us....as if this was worse..my pc choose to malfunction just when i needed it to work,just before my exams!traitor!it seems like forever,i was slipping in and out of bed...sleep hardly came to me as the alarm always went off as i snuggled in.it was a never ending round the clock stressful two weeks......what with this being the last week for internals...and the marks being required for our end sems...which of course is round the corner!uff!

amidst time crunch...and hordes or tests...came another blow!another political fight SFI vs Anti SFI....uff...supposed murders[dead actually walk about on campus..u know lol]the ailments...the mass plunder...burning and rampage....sham!sham!all a sham....no one spares the other...the question of right and wrong long being forgotten by both sides....then came JUTA calling for a strike!for god knows what?i am no one to comment...result??well classrooms locked with mysteriously keys being vanished,libraries in a state of repose...but do u really think our profs succumb to such mild protest and stop classes...hell no!!they took classes in stair cases,their rooms and in certain extreme cases they even found "innovative" ways to open the classrooms.....

probably the only good thing that happened this week was the internal results of previous test...must i say i have done miserably?erm!well not exactly...have got decent grades...at least i am happy....i don't care about others....i am not competing with others but just me from last semester....so its me who has to be satiated in the end...how magnanimous is that!lol!only i know how much i have slogged or rather i am slogging to get mere marks!sometimes i wonder why i dint put this kind of concentration and hard work while i was at school...i was reputed as the bright girl who was too lazy to work hard....my god!wont my teachers love to eat their words if they are to see me now....

yes yes...i am stopping here...enough of gloating...but then i felt i deserved it..after all that has happened...and mind you the week isn't over...we have to work an extra day on Saturday :(...and we have a test too..its the last internal this semester..and after that a grateful study leave of 2 weeks!time to repose now..cherrio!

Oprah Winfry

i have been following Oprah Winfrey show for quite sometime now...and there were times when i was in splits and others,when i was moved to tears...Oprah has that kind of effect on people....she speaks with conviction...she deals with matters passionately,a no-nonsense lady...who is alone responsible for who she is...one may think oh!she is a darn rich lady...so perfect...no traumas and no pasts haunting her...what would she understand of people's suffering....if you too think this way....then think again....she comes from a broken family....driven to poverty at an early age...a druggie and then being knocked up by someone..and child molested from when she was just 9 which went on till she way 13...at 14 she gave birth to a baby boy..who died soon afterwards...series of failed relationships....but Oprah...never lost her soul...she faced hurdles and she knew she had it in her to overcome it and she did...now she is the world's richest black American woman,of African-American origin.

today she hosts a show that had created history..its in showbiz for almost 2 decades and more....and she has wooed,befriended and captured the hearts of her viewers without so much as a fight....people simply love Oprah...the best part about her is...she is who she is...and she is never ashamed of it....she seeks for help when she requires it,and is never afraid to do so...and this conviction on her part has helped millions who have come on her show...she has gone to the end of the earth to help AIDS affected patients...she has taken her cast and crew along with their families to a paid vacation...she has given away cars to all her audience...yes!thats how generous she is...she has revealed secrets,which no other talk show host would have ever imagined doing...helped people to accept their problems and seek help....talked on topics considered a taboo..and help people accept realities...

heres a few facts about the much beloved Oprah-

Oprah Gail Winfrey (born January 29, 1954) is the American multiple-Emmy Award winning host of The Oprah Winfrey Show, the highest rated talk show in television history.She is also an influential book critic, an Academy Award-nominated actress, and a magazine publisher. She has been ranked the richest African American of the 20th century,the most philanthropic African American of all time,and the world's only Black billionaire for three straight years.She is also, according to several assessments, the most influential woman in the world.

Oprah Winfrey was born in Kosciusko, Mississippi, to a Baptist family. Her parents were unmarried teenagers. Her mother, Vernita Lee, was a housemaid, and her father, Vernon Winfrey, was a coal miner and later worked as a barber before becoming a city councilman. Winfrey's father was in the Armed Forces when she was born. After her birth, Winfrey's mother traveled north and Winfrey spent her first six years living in rural poverty with her Grandma Hattie Mae. Winfrey's grandmother taught her to read before the age of three and took her to the local church, where she was nicknamed "The Preacher" for her ability to recite Bible verses. When Winfrey was a child, her grandmother would take a switch and would hit her with it when she didn't do chores or if she misbehaved in any way.

At age six, Winfrey moved to an inner city ghetto in Milwaukee, Wisconsin with her mother, who was less supportive and encouraging than her grandmother. Winfrey has stated that she was molested by her cousin, uncle, and a family friend, starting when she was 9.

Despite her dysfunctional home life, Winfrey skipped two of her earliest grades, became the teacher's pet, and by the time she was 13 received a scholarship to attend Nicolet High School in the Milwaukee suburb of Glendale, Wisconsin. Although Winfrey was very popular, she couldn't afford to go out on the town as frequently as her better-off classmates. Like many teenagers at the end of the 1960s, Winfrey rebelled, ran away from home and ran the streets. When she was 14, she became pregnant, but lost the baby after birth. Also at that age, her frustrated mother sent her to live with her father in Nashville, Tennessee. Vernon was strict, but encouraging and made her education a priority. Winfrey became an honors student, was voted "Most Popular Girl", joined her high school speech team, and placed second in the nation in dramatic interpretation. She won an oratory contest, which secured her a full scholarship to Tennessee State University, a historically black institution, where she studied communication. At age 18, Winfrey won the Miss Black Tennessee beauty pageant.

stressed!

its been the most hectic week of this semester,what with classes from 10.20 straight to 2pm and sometimes even 3pm at one go...its been one helluva week...it seemed like forever..one teacher was going out and the other coming in...class after class...no sleep even less food....slogging for test...not faring well at all....more tests...more sleepless nights and more and more heat and humidity....the weather totaly betrayed us...with the mercury rising.....uff!!

yesterday was the last day of college for the week...and what a relief!we get three days to prepare for the next batch of tests.....after working so hard all week,yesterday,we all took a break...and we decided to laze around in BBC[basket ball court]it was a fine evening....all of us...lying down flat on the grass...talking and enjoying the cool breeze and setting sun...all of a sudden,out of nowhere came a football....and WHAM1straight on my face..for a few moments i was numb and had a black out...then there was an excruciating pain....tears rolled down involuntarily...thank god my friends were there....i went to bed yesterday with a awful headache and swollen face...boy!whatta week!