Once a believer

Has it happened that you meet a person, a long time friend or even an ex after lengths of time and you forget the animosity and connect and then you both slip into normal lives as if this reunion meant nothing? At least for me, I was not the one slipping back to the usual life and I felt really disappointed with the entire experience and wondered at the futility of it all.

There was a time I used to believe that even after a relationship going caput the friendship remains because the foundation of all relationships is friendship. It might take a while to get over the emotions or come to grips with it; despite the effort that one might have to put in, the end result is totally and completely doable. I believed this with all my heart and to a large extent I thought it worked out for me as well. But I was wrong.

There comes a time when while fighting on inane things you realize why certain things does not feel the way you think it was supposed to feel. Why the idea of talking to an ex is something that makes you excited but the aftermath of it is disappointing. It took me a while, I expected things to be normal baring the emotions but it was the emotions the way they were then, that made that equation so special. The realization put a lot of pent up disappointment at ease. I remember the times when I was waiting to feel a particular thing, or I expected the equation to flow in to something that I felt was the next step when all I actually got in return is a distant feeling that made me feel a lil queasy.

Maybe sometimes an end is an ending for good. Had it lingered it would just rake up trouble that you would rather not deal with. And sometimes it is okay and not everything needs to end in happily ever after.